I’ve always suspected I’m on the spectrum and I’ve read up a lot about it. I’m already an adult and am fairly high functioning.
My online RAADS–R test score is around 130. Sometimes I wonder if I should actually get diagnosed but I’m not sure if I should.
Because I need help managing my emotions at times. The intensity of it is immense and I get locked in a spiral I have no idea how to get out of. I end up just bottling it up and slowly letting it out. But it’s exhausting.
Is there a better way to manage it as well? Like how do people deal with intense emotions? I’ve tried talking or writing or taking walks etc but they don’t really help
Thank you for sharing your experience. It sounds like you’ve been carrying a lot on your own for a long time, and I can hear how exhausting that must be. The way you describe your emotions—how intense they are, how they spiral and leave you feeling stuck—it makes complete sense that you’d want to find a better way to manage them. You’ve already tried things like talking, writing, and walking, and the fact that they haven’t really helped must feel frustrating, maybe even discouraging. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t other ways that might work better for you. Please do not be discouraged and may I suggest these:
Finding Ways to Regulate Intense Emotions
Since bottling things up is wearing you down, the goal isn’t just to “cope” but to actually move through emotions in a way that feels more natural and less draining. Different things work for different people, and it might take some experimenting, but here are a few approaches that might be worth trying:
1. Breaking the Spiral When You Feel Stuck
Name What You’re Feeling (Even If It’s Messy) – Sometimes, giving your emotions more specific names can make them feel less overwhelming. Instead of just “angry” or “sad,” maybe it’s “frustrated because I feel unheard” or “overwhelmed because things feel out of control.” Just naming it can help make it feel more manageable.
Externalizing the Thoughts – If your mind gets caught in loops, try imagining those thoughts as separate from you. Picture them as words floating down a river or even give them a silly name: “Oh, here’s Overthinking again.” It sounds simple, but it can take away some of their power.
The 5-4-3-2-1 Technique – When emotions feel like they’re taking over, grounding yourself in the present can help:
5 things you see
4 things you can touch
3 sounds you hear
2 things you smell
1 thing you taste
2. If Logic Doesn’t Work, Try Sensory or Physical Strategies
Sometimes, emotions aren’t just in the mind—they live in the body. That’s why physical and sensory techniques can help:
Deep Pressure for Calm – A weighted blanket, a firm self-hug, pressing your palms together—anything that gives your body deep, steady pressure can help regulate your nervous system.
Cold Water Reset – Splashing cold water on your face, holding an ice pack on your neck, or dunking your hands in cold water can actually shift your body out of overwhelm in a way that thinking alone can’t.
Rhythmic Movement – Some people find that rocking, pacing, or bouncing on a yoga ball helps more than walking because it taps into a calming, repetitive motion.
3. Expressing Emotions in a Different Way
If talking or writing doesn’t help, maybe your brain just needs a different kind of outlet:
Abstract Writing or Drawing – Instead of writing your thoughts directly, try scribbling, making abstract shapes, or using colors to “map out” what you feel.
Music That Moves With You – Sometimes, matching your mood with music and then gradually shifting to calmer songs can help guide your emotions to a more settled place.
4. Creating an Emotional “First Aid Kit”
Some people find it helpful to gather things that help them regulate when emotions get too intense. This could include:
Noise-cancelling headphones
A soft fabric or fidget toy
Essential oils (lavender or peppermint for calming)
A playlist of comforting music
A small notebook with reminders of grounding techniques
I have found that getting a diagnosis could
bring a sense of validation, clarity, and access to support. For others, self-understanding is enough. If you think it would give you tools to better navigate life, it might be worth considering.
I will try some of your suggestions! Would you recommend I seek a diagnosis or just carry on because I’m a little worried about work implications if I’m diagnosed. And insurance.
If you’re concerned about work implications after getting a diagnosis, this might help to clarify things:
Under MOM guidelines, employers must “recruit and select employees on the basis of merit (such as skills, experience or ability to perform the job), regardless of age, race, gender, religion, marital status and family responsibilities, or disability”.
For matters related to insurance, I would encourage you to speak to your insurance provider directly for clarification, as they would be in a better position to assist you.
