How to cope with constant anxiety and overthinking

Ask a Therapist Coping
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I have been having anxiety and overthinking for the longest time – especially in social situations and in my friendships / relationships. I tend to be hypersensitive in my interactions and think of the worst possible situations each interaction may bring, which usually ends with the thought that people may gossip / dislike / neglect me in social situations. Whenever these thoughts happen, it’s hard for me to focus on what I have to do and I tend to feel anxious and dissociate from the present. It usually only goes away until the other party proves that he/she does not “hate” me. Then, this vicious cycle repeats again as my mind tends to find things to hyperfixate and worry on.

Would like to know what I can do to cope with it? It’s so tiring to always be stuck in this vicious cycle and the voices in my head are constantly taking over me.

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Hi @user1089, :wave:t4:

That sounds really challenging! Thank you for reaching out and sharing your thoughts and feelings with us. It takes courage to open up about experiences with anxiety and overthinking, especially in social situations and relationships. I can only imagine how uncomfortable it must be for you to constantly experience this. Thank you for trusting us; I truly appreciate it. :smiley:

First and foremost, well done on taking a step towards breaking the cycle. Having awareness and then reaching out for support is a step in the right direction. :clap:t4: :clap:t4:

Please know that you’re not alone in feeling this way. Many people struggle with similar challenges, and there are strategies that can help you cope and manage these feelings more effectively. Overthinking and anxiety can be complex. It’s usually our body’s way of trying to protect us from harm. Usually, an outdated programming that used to help us cope in the past, and now that same strategy has become unhelpful. I encourage you to reach out to a counsellor for support so that he/she can help create a customized support plan for you.

I’ll share some strategies and perspectives that have helped others, and I invite you to explore them at your pace and comfort level. We can help our brain learn new ways to keep us safe by presenting it with facts and pairing these with calming body relaxation techniques.

One approach that may be helpful is practising mindfulness. Mindfulness involves focusing on the present moment without judgment. It can help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings without getting caught up in them. You can start by trying simple mindfulness exercises, such as deep breathing or guided meditation (easily available on YouTube), to help calm your mind and reduce anxiety. Check out Balance Yourself

If you notice your mind beginning to spiral, may I suggest trying a grounding technique? For example, use your 5 senses: find 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. Another grounding technique is using the rainbow – find at least 2 things of each colour of the rainbow in your environment. There is also box breathing. There are many different techniques to help calm your nervous system. I encourage you to try different ones and find the one that resonates with you the most, then practice it regularly so that your body learns to feel safer and calmer.

Another helpful strategy is challenging unhelpful thoughts and beliefs. You can give these thoughts a name, for example: “Judgy Mind”. When you notice yourself thinking of the worst possible outcomes or worrying about what others think of you, try to question those thoughts. Ask yourself if there’s any evidence to support these beliefs. Are there any other possible perspectives? Try to think of 3 different perspectives.

Keeping a journal can be helpful – record these thoughts, list any evidence contradicting them, and record factual outcomes after events. Over time, this strategy can give you feedback that your worst thoughts usually don’t materialise.

Another strategy is, when the thought “Oh, xyz doesn’t like me” comes up, Acknowledge it, you can say something like “oh Hi Judgy Mind, you’re here again. Let’s take a pause, I’m going to ground myself (do any of the grounding exercises or calming breath). When you notice your body is feeling calm, you can then go ahead to explore what is the evidence that xyz doesn’t like me? Are there any other possible explanations for that behaviour or action? You can also affirm yourself “My thoughts are not facts, I am safe”.

Also, another important thing is to have self-care and self-compassion. Be gentle with yourself and offer yourself kindness. You’re doing the best you can, and that is enough in that moment. Give yourself permission to grow, make mistakes, and learn new skills.

Remember, coping with anxiety and overthinking is a journey, and it takes time for our brain and body to learn new ways of coping. It’s okay to seek help and take small steps towards feeling better. You deserve to feel at ease in social situations and relationships, and with time and support, you can learn to manage these challenges more effectively.

I hope the above strategies are helpful; please do try them out and let us know how things are.

Here are some additional resources for you to consider:

[https://mindline.sg/youth/?wysa_tool_id=feel_more_control](https://Feel More Control )

For confidential and supportive counselling sessions at affordable prices tailored to youth, check out
https://getsafespace.com and reach out to the team for current promotions
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TOUCHLINE (1800-377-2252)

Wishing you the very best, you got this! :grinning: