Recently i fell quite sick and could not fully recover even after 2 weeks. I kept losing sleep and getting tensed through the night over worries of the work events to come and what if i cannot fully recover to perform well.
I have also been taking antibiotics for my illness but i have history of antibiotics giving me bad nightmares, although docs say that shld not be a typical side effect.
Last night, i had a nightmare about my exbf from 15 yrs ago. My doc said it could be something from the past that resurfaced, causing me to have panic attacks and hyperventilate.
The previous relationship ended rather unresolved perhaps from my angle. It was my first relationship and lasted 10yrs? We broke up here and there in between but only for a short time. The final breakup was one of those where i thought usually we would patch up but he ended up really cutting off contact after a short email saying he thought I was the one before but was mistaken. One day, i was on a cab to work and i HAD TO end up seeing him driving another girl in his car to work! Honestly it shooked me. I know it is inevitable but i guess i felt angry that he just moved on so easily from a 10 yr relationship! Felt like i wasted my youth, felt betrayed, let down. But in my mind, i know the relationship was getting toxic. We were mostly arguing and we had different life goals.
I am now married for many years but occassionally, i still get nightmares abt my exbf!!! Its frustrating the hell out of me and i am not sure how i can resolve this. Logically, it doesnt make sense as i shld have alrdy moved on. 
Happy to hear any advice to help. Thanks lots
Hi Fairymaiden
Thank you for the courage to bring up what you are currently experiencing. I agree that having repeat nightmares and feelings of anxiety, especially in the context of a past relationship and current health issues, can be quite distressing. Nightmares about a past relationship, especially one that ended unresolved, can resurface due to stress or anxiety in your current life. The emotional turmoil from your previous relationship may not have been fully processed, leading to these dreams. This is common when significant life events trigger memories of unresolved issues.
Here are some coping strategies to address anxiety
-Practices such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga can help reduce anxiety levels. These techniques promote relaxation and may improve sleep quality.
-Engaging in therapy can help you process feelings related to your past relationship and develop coping strategies for anxiety and nightmares.
-Journaling: Writing about your feelings and experiences can provide an outlet for emotions and help you process unresolved issues from the past.
-Sleep Hygiene: Establish a calming bedtime routine to signal to your body that it’s time to wind down. This could include limiting screen time before bed, creating a comfortable sleep environment, and maintaining a consistent sleep schedule.
-Limit Stimulants: Reduce caffeine and alcohol intake, especially in the hours leading up to bedtime, as these substances can disrupt sleep patterns.
-Discuss Medication with Your Doctor: If you suspect that your medication is affecting you consult with your healthcare provider about possible alternatives or adjustments.
It’s understandable to feel overwhelmed by the interplay of health issues, anxiety, and unresolved feelings from the past. By implementing coping strategies and seeking professional support when needed, you can work towards finding relief from these distressing experiences. Remember that healing takes time, and it’s okay to reach out for help along the way. 
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Hello,
Seems like you are craving some resolution with regards to your relationship with your ex. And this dissatisfaction with the ‘ending’ of your story with him has trickled down to other aspects of your life.
Firstly, I would like to say I’m really sorry to hear that. I can’t fully relate to what you’re experiencing but it must feel tiring and exhausting, especially since it has been going on for quite a number of years. I want you to know you are valid in what ever conflict within you that you’re feeling right now.
Secondly, it may help for you to talk to your current married spouse about this. You may have fear that it may cause a rift between you and him, but to help prevent that you can reframe it that you feel unresolved with regards to this ex-relationship and you want closure. I’m sure he will be able to feel the trust you have in him, since you’ve exposed yourself in this vulnerable state. It also will help for you to ask for consent to meet your ex again, and avoid potential conflict/drama.
Third, it may help for you to contact this ex again. Advisably in the face of a therapist. It would help for a therapist to help mediate this exchange to untangle all the unresolved issues within this past relationship. Only by going through this roadblock head on and not ignoring or burying this issue would you be able to get over this issue. As it seems that ‘time’ was not able to heal you given the amount of years that have already passed.
Whatever your decision you make, I hope your family and husband will be able to support you fully as their support would definitely be essential in you getting past this trauma.
Good luck!
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