i don't know what to do and how to stop feeling this way

Ask a Therapist Is This Normal?
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i have been seeking help for mental health conditions (not disorder) since last year (overthinking, ** ideation, meaninglessness, mental exhaustion etc), but because of life changes i haven’t been seeing a professional for about a month (and before that for a few months). hopefully soon.

recently i find myself feeling that people are threats to me, or i feel emotions that i desperately don’t want to feel. eg i keep feeling upset when friend X hangs out/has something in common with friend Y (who i’m closer to) and i’m not part of it

i have talked to myself about this multiple times, explained to myself, rationalised things, even talked to friends X and Y about it (without phrasing it in a bad way), and i still can’t stop these feelings. this makes be really upset at myself, because it makes me feel like deep down i’m a toxic and possessive friend though i desperately don’t want to be. i know growth takes time but idk how long more i can take myself being like this

another eg: i am starting a job somewhere, and somehow my internal instinct is to see the other person as a threat, rather than as someone to be friends with/learn from

i generally try to be a nice person to everyone, and i rly do my best not to create drama. i do want to try to be friends and be someone people are comfortable with. i just hate all these emotions and internal things i feel towards people. it makes me feel so terrible but i just dk how to make them go away. i promise this is not who i want to be.

i really dk what to do. i know all the logical reasons and am honestly just upset that my heart isnt listening to my head. and after all that, my heart gets mad at itself. and i feel like this way too often. this is not the life i want to live.

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Thank you for sharing and I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this. What you’re describing is painful, but it doesn’t mean you’re a bad, toxic, or possessive person. The fact that these feelings upset you and that you try so hard not to act on them actually shows the opposite.

Unwanted emotions can show up even when we know better. That gap between your head and your heart is frustrating, but it’s very common, especially when you’re tired, stressed, or in a period of change. Feeling something doesn’t mean you agree with it or that it defines you. What matters is how you act, and you’re clearly acting with care.

Please try not to punish yourself for having these reactions. The spiral of “I feel this → I hate myself for feeling it” only makes things heavier. Growth isn’t about making these emotions disappear overnight, but it’s about noticing them, not feeding them, and being gentler with yourself while they pass.

It’s good that you’re planning to see a professional again, that’s not easy and you are really amazing for that. You don’t have to solve this alone. And for what it’s worth: this doesn’t sound like who you are, it sounds like a struggle and still trying to do right by others. That matters more than you think. <3

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