I dunno... maybe advice or something (rant)

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So I’m a sec 4 here and it’s kinda close to Os… I’m feeling very stressed and scared that all my friends will leave me after Os. I put in quite alot of time and effort with mt friends (might be a bit clingy HAHAH) and irl i keep laughing alot as a coping mechanism or something. but deep down idw to be a reject (was ostracised and bullied last time)/ think positively (have been trying but sometimes they always come back and i dont always remember to). And i have kinda weird sexual fantasies (my coping mechanism) as well as some unhealthy coping mechanisms i dont do anymore but still a bit scared of relapsing to. I learnt about overgeneralising and im trying not to but the thoughts are quite intrusive and i cant really rid myself of them. i dunno how to go get therapy because tbh irl i may not have the confidence to say all this and it feels so much better venting online and also my problems aren’t as bad as others lol. thank you for reading all this and i guess i wanna know how to get help greatly appreciated HDJFNFN scary posting this.

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Thanks for opening up about what you’re going through, @Novaie. It’s a brave step to share your feelings and concerns. First of all, remember that your feelings are valid, and you’re not alone in experiencing these challenges.

O’levels is a big milestone and I remember myself being super stressed over it as well. It’s completely normal to feel anxious about your friendships, especially during a transitional period like this. For all you know, your friends may be going through similar feelings too. Maybe discussing about future plans with them could help establish some “common” feelings beyond O’levels - eg going to a specific JC or joining a specific course in poly.

I totally get what you’re saying about getting therapy irl. I also find it hard to verbalise my feelings to a stranger as well. Maybe you’ll find this thread helpful: Restarting therapy

Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength and self-care. Your well-being is essential, and you deserve the support and guidance to navigate through these challenges. Don’t hesitate to reach out to professionals who are here to help you. We’re all rooting for you! :blush:

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Hello @Novaie

First of all, thank you for reaching out and sharing your thoughts and concerns. I’m so sorry for what you’re experiencing now, with the stress and the fear of being abandoned by your friends. I would just like to assure you that it’s completely understandable to feel stressed as you approach your O-level examinations, because it is indeed a milestone for most of our academic journey. During this time, it’s also normal to feel fearful of changes and potential shifts in friendships, which may add on to your stress. However, I commend you for your dedication to your friends and your desire for positive connections! These are wonderful qualities and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to have friends around you.

You know, I think it’s important to recognize that using laughter as a coping mechanism is a natural response to stress. Laughter can be a way to momentarily relieve tension, and it’s good that you can find moments of levity even amidst your worries.

Your past experiences with being ostracized and bullied can have a huge impact on your self-esteem and feelings of self-worth. It’s completely natural to want to avoid rejection, and it’s important to remember that your worth is not determined by the actions of others. Maybe you can focus on building self-esteem and self-confidence can be part of your personal growth journey! You can try this activity to help you to build a sense of worthiness despite the potential changes : https://mindline.sg/youth/?wysa_tool_id=build_worthiness

Concerning your coping mechanisms, I’m proud of you for being aware of the potential for relapse and that you are actively working to address these challenges. Everyone copes in different ways, so our coping strategies can vary from person to person, and it’s important to seek healthier alternatives when possible. You can try these alternative ways to cope, they might be helpful!

Last but not least, you’ve already taken an important step by reaching out online here! If you find it more comfortable to express yourself here, that’s great. However, it’s also worth considering seeking support in person when you’re ready :blush: Therapists are trained to provide a safe and confidential space for you to discuss your concerns, and they can offer guidance and specific coping strategies tailored to your situation.

I just want to assure you that your concerns and feelings are valid, and there’s no need to compare them to others’. Your well-being is important, and taking steps to seek help and address your concerns is a sign of strength. Most importantly, you are not alone in this, we are here to support you on this journey.

Take care and continue to reach out when you feel the need.

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Thanks for all the advice, I spent 40 minutes looking at the playlist on wysa for building a sense of worthiness and it somewhat helped HDNDN
well but sometimes there are some intrusive thoughts are persistent and they dont go away, it sometimes gets to the point where during an exam I suddenly think of it and blank out, and it’s really annoying :< I’m pretty sure decluttering works but the thoughts are pretty often and they aren’t really want I want (oftentimes they’re violent/disturbing/sexual) so its very sad and annoying…
i was diagnosed with adhd so maybe it has something to do with that…
tbh I’m so naïve to think the thoughts would go away on my own, because they never do i probably just suppress them or something
thanks for responding to my earlier post i really appreciate it
i don’t know about getting therapy because my parents say its really expensive and there’s a social stigma about it too

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