I feel I failed all over again.

Ask a Therapist Mental Health Conditions
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Hi, why do i ALWAYS feel useless when my husband gets mad or disappointed at me even if it just a small thing? When he starts to get mad, i felt i have failed all over again and my mind keep telling me that “ I’m stupid, why did i do that?” and i will tend to slap on myself.

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Hi, im new here. I wanted to asked its normal for me to feel worthless as a housewife. I envy my friends that have a good job, earn good money while im here don’t know whats im good at. Doesn’t earn a cent for so long. I feel useless when, i always gets my husband angry. When i have some arguments with my husband, i will tend to slap myself in the face and my mind keep saying that im stupid. Is this normal?

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Dear @user209568

Thank you for reaching out. I can sense how hurt you are feeling especially when your husband gets angry or disappointed with you. I believe that when this happens, your mind immediately thinks the worst of yourself and you self criticise to the point that you feel worthless.

I believe that during moments of overwhelm, you slap yourself to release the stress, hurt and emotion. You are not alone; and you can replace this unhealthy method of coping with more positive ways.

May I gently encourage you to speak to a mental health professional soon. The professional can firstly help you safely process the negative thoughts and beliefs about yourself and replace these with more healthy beliefs and thoughts. You could also learn and practise skills such as deep breathing and grounding techniques that could help you reclaim a sense of control.

I think that another area to work on would be to rebuild your self worth and self-esteem. I am certain you have many strengths but unfortunately, the overwhelm may be clouding how you view yourself.

What you are going through now is indeed challenging and it’s perfectly okay to reach out for help. If you wish to speak to a counsellor immediately, do call the mindline hotline at 1771. It operates 24/7.

Please know that you matter and fully deserve high quality support and care that leads to improved wellbeing. :yellow_heart: