Hi @user1365 ,
Thank you for sharing your story. It’s clear that you put your heart and soul into your athletic career, and I can only imagine how hard it must have been when things didn’t turn out the way you wanted. I also hear that even though it’s been a few years, the emotional pain from that time still resurfaces, especially during moments of anxiety or sadness. I want to take a moment to explore that with you, if that’s okay.
1. The Weight of Your Past and Its Impact on the Present
You mentioned that your experience as an athlete still sends you into a spiral when you’re feeling down. It sounds like a lot of your identity and self-worth were tied to that dream, and when it didn’t go as planned, it may have felt like you lost a part of yourself. I’m curious—when you think about that time in your life, what emotions come up for you now? Do you feel like the version of yourself back then is still affecting how you see yourself today?
It seems like the perfectionism and drive that pushed you to succeed in your sport are still influencing the way you handle setbacks. You gave so much of yourself to that dream, and even though life didn’t end when it didn’t work out, I wonder if a part of you still feels stuck in that moment. How do you feel about the idea that healing from this might be a process that’s still unfolding?
2. Perfectionism and Self-Worth
It sounds like your perfectionism was both a strength and a struggle for you. On the one hand, it fueled your hard work and dedication, but on the other hand, it led to burnout and emotional pain. Do you find that this perfectionism still shows up in other areas of your life? It’s common for people who were perfectionists in one area to carry that pressure into other parts of their lives, and it can be exhausting. I wonder if part of what’s making it hard to heal is that you still feel the need to live up to that same high standard, even though the circumstances have changed.
3. The Idea of “Never Being Good Enough”
When you say that you feel like you’ll never be good enough no matter how hard you try, I want to gently push back on that. You’ve already accomplished so much—spending 10 years as an athlete takes dedication and strength. The fact that things didn’t go the way you hoped doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough. It means that life threw you a curveball, and you’re still learning how to handle the emotional impact. What would it mean for you to see your worth outside of your past achievements or failures?
You’re not defined by one experience, even though it feels like it still holds a lot of power over you. Part of healing might be about finding ways to separate who you are from that one chapter of your life.
4. Moving Toward Healing
You mentioned that you feel like you may never fully heal from this experience. Healing isn’t about erasing the past—it’s about learning how to carry it in a way that doesn’t weigh you down. Have you had the chance to talk to anyone about this experience in depth? Sometimes, sharing these emotions with a trusted therapist or someone who can hold space for your feelings can help lighten the load.
How do you feel about the idea of talking through these feelings with someone who could guide you through this healing process? You don’t have to carry this alone, and it’s okay if healing takes time.
Final Thought
You’ve already shown so much strength by recognizing the connection between your past and how you feel now. It’s okay to take time to heal and to learn to see your worth beyond that experience. You’ve got the ability to move forward, and it’s not about erasing what happened—it’s about finding a new way to live alongside it.
Take care of yourself, and I’d love to hear your thoughts on how you’ve been processing this lately. What do you think would be helpful for you in terms of moving forward?