I feel so helpless

I’m a female (19) a Filipino who got approved for a citizenship. The thing is I don’t want it by my Mom still filed it for me. She said that it’s for my future. I tried backing out but I know I will suffer a lot. She basically said that if I don’t take it she will stop supporting me financially. I already stopped one semester and I don’t know what will happen to me. But I know that if I take it I will be miserable since my life is in the PH. I was already contented with what | had. I have amazing triends, a supportive family, and a boyfriend. It was pushed into my hands and I felt as if I had no choice because I’m not in the position to support myself.

Recently, I had decided to just accept the citizenship because of the pressure thaf I felt knowing that it would potentially ruin my relationship with my mom and my future. I already lost a lot of weight over it and I can’t help but feel depressed. My family, friends, and boyfriend wanted me to take it. I know that they would hate me if I pass it up since it secures my future but at the same time, I feel miserable. I feel so alone and helpless.

Hi user1272

Thank you for your bravery in reaching out for assistance. I’m sad to see how conflicted, worried and sad you are feeling. I think these overwhelming feelings are fully valid and 100% understandable. This is indeed such a difficult decision to make. Please do not feel helpless and alone, we are here to journey with you. :heart:

Let’s take a look at your choices:

Choice A: To accept the Singapore citizenship.
Choice B: To not accept the Singapore citizenship.

I recommend that you can write down the pros and cons of each choice. Be honest with yourself on what your worries are for each of the two choices.

Speaking to a counsellor may help to gain clarity, too. Through the counsellor’s non judgmental attitude, I believe you can experience safety, fully process your emotions and be heard.

In the counselling sessions, you are also able to pinpoint and articulate your values, needs, fears and challenges. It is possible that new perspectives could emerge which you may not have realised earlier. With these new insights and clarity, you are likely to make a more informed decision. If possible you may be able to identify potential workarounds that could be more acceptable and reduce the struggle.

This decision has understandably heightened anxiety for you to such an extent that your well-being, health and daily life activities like eating has been negatively affected. This self-neglect is understandable and common considering your current circumstances. However it is taking a toll on you. Do explore other healthier ways of coping. For example, Please start taking small steps to regain your health and well-being, have regular healthy meals and participate in enjoyable activities to reignite joy in your life.
Please take good care of yourself and I believe with clarity, you can make a good decision. :heart: