I feel so lost and ashamed of how thin my life experiences is compare to other people around my age

People my age are working so hard and chasing after their dreams basically doing something with their life but I’m here doing nothing(no higher education or job) with my life (even though I know since young that my family has always financial issues) and is just stuck at home not that I had not try things with my life these past few years that I’ve been stuck at home but it always just don’t work out because I was too much a coward to try do anything even though the opportunities to do something was present right in front of me then but I just let it pass because yet agin I was a coward but now that I am getting older I am so desperate that I am willing to try anything but those opportunities doesn’t appear again no matter how much I try to chase it, what should I do?

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Dont compare.

You can grow a cacti like how you grow an orchids.

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Hello @Wira,

Thanks for finding the courage to share about your struggles here. It must’ve not been an easy thing to open up so I commend you for that! I also want to let you know that what you think and feel about what you’re currently going through is valid – I can see where you’re coming from, hearing about your past experiences and your worries about how your life is shaping.

You have quite the self-awareness and though you mostly see flaws with your situation, I hope you can also see it with some self-compassion. Although you can’t change what had happened, you can change the way you think and feel about the past by being kinder to yourself. I also wonder about the fears you faced when opportunities presented itself to you – it sounded as though the benefit of not doing (and not failing) outweighed the gains from taking the opportunity. I wonder if not doing was connected to not needing to go through uncertainty and very likely real difficulties (to do with finances, skills, knowledge, etc.). I imagine feeling fearful being in that situation and just wanting to reduce that distress where the pros of not doing seem to outweigh the pros of doing.

What’s different now is you having the choice to live the life you want to. This is definitely going to be scary time but can also be an exciting time as you have the opportunity to start on something very fulfilling – working on yourself! Using your self awareness, you can discover what truly matters by asking yourself about what you really value. There’s this concept of ikigai that can help you discover further by asking yourself what you enjoy, what you’re good at, and to strive for that which brings value and joy to your life!

Next, you can build momentum to help you live life in accordance to being who you want to be - cultivate taking action, small but meaningful ones, as action leads to more action, which builds momentum! If we’re too caught up with the finish line, we forget the joy we experience on the journey to get there.

I commend you on wanting to work on yourself. :slightly_smiling_face: Remember that you also deserve and can get the necessary support you need! Looking forward to hear from you again, take care!

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Hi @Wira I understand that you’re feeling stuck and frustrated about not being able to pursue your dreams or find opportunities. It’s important to recognize that everyone’s journey is unique, and there’s no fixed timeline for success. First, try not to be too hard on yourself. Reflect on your strengths, interests, and what truly makes you passionate.

Consider setting small, achievable goals for yourself. Break down your aspirations into manageable steps, and celebrate each accomplishment, no matter how small. Networking and reaching out to people in industries you’re interested in can also open up potential opportunities. Don’t hesitate to explore skill-building courses or volunteering, as these experiences can help build confidence and enhance your resume.

Remember, it’s never too late to start working towards your goals. Be persistent, stay positive, and keep an open mind as you navigate through the challenges. The right opportunities may not come overnight, but by taking proactive steps, you can gradually create a path towards a fulfilling and meaningful life. You can do it! X

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Hi Wira, be patient with yourself. The fact that you are already taking the first step and acknowledging that you want to break out of your shell is already something to applaud for. As for the opportunities part, you may wish to consider seeking the perspective and advice of people who are in the field of the area where you are seeking opportunities in. Perhaps they can shed some light for you on how you can find or create those opportunities.

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