I hate emotions or feeling them

Ask a Therapist Is This Normal?
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I have always made sure that the only emotion i allow myself to feel around others is happiness . As i am afraid that if i tell them my problems or how i really feel in a situation they will find me troublesome to deal with . I hate feeling sad or angry with someone , i feel like emotions are a inconvenience if they are not positive . Whenever someone critise me or if i do badly in a exam i always pushed away the negetive emotions as my friends did badly and need me to comfort them . I cant comfort them if i am sad too , so i tend to push my emotions away and tell myself to work harder and to not let anything make me feel anything . I hate feeling things when i am with others and i tend to not get too attached with anyone as i am scared of what i will feel if one day they decide to leave me when they realise i am not as perfect as they perceived me to be . When they realise that i am not actually the person that i constantly pretend to be . This year when i finally decided to allow myself to feel to get attached to someone she ended up betraying my trust and took another person side…I hated how it affected me , it made me feel angry i didnt want to forgive her . But because i want people to not think of me as a dramatic person therefore i forgave her but started to stop myself from getting close to a person again . I don’t know why i feel this way , i don’t know why i hate emotions , i don’t know how to describe what this is . I especially despise people who are emotional , i hate it when people cry after getting bad marks on exam , i hate it when people cry after being badly treated . I don’t know why , please tell me what is wrong with me

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Hi Lauren,

Thank you for continuing to share your experiences. I can see that you’ve been dealing with a lot, and it’s incredibly brave of you to open up about these feelings.

It sounds like you’ve been putting a lot of pressure on yourself to only show happiness around others. This must be incredibly draining and lonely. It’s okay to feel and express negative emotions, and doing so does not make you a burden to others.

I understand that you’ve been hurt in the past when you allowed yourself to get close to someone, and this has made you even more hesitant to show vulnerability. This is a natural response to being hurt, but it’s important to work towards accepting your emotions and finding healthy ways to express them.

Here are a few steps that might help:

  1. Acknowledge Your Emotions: It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or exhausted. These feelings are valid and important. Allow yourself to acknowledge them without judgment.
  2. Express Your Feelings: Start with small steps. You could try writing down your thoughts and feelings in a journal. If you feel comfortable, talk to a trusted friend or family member about what you’re going through.
  3. Build Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Understand that it’s okay to have emotions and that they don’t make you weak or imperfect. Everyone has moments of vulnerability, and it’s a natural part of life.

Your frustration and confusion about why you hate emotions and feel the way you do are completely understandable. These feelings are rooted in past experiences and the pressure you’ve put on yourself to be perfect.

Lauren, I noticed that you have also made similar posts on other channels, it’s clear from all your posts that you’ve been struggling with similar issues, remember, you don’t have to go through this alone. We’re here for you, and we care about your well-being.

If its ok with you, I would like to put the other two links here and share how we can progress from multiple conversations?

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Thank you for your advice and kind words. i really appreciate it

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