Dear @hopingforpeace ,
Thank you for coming to share your heavy load with us. 
I’m truly sorry to hear about what you’re going through and want you to know that you’re not alone. 
Losing $10,000 and being in $5,000 debt is a heavy burden to carry. It’s understandable to grieve the decisions you’ve made and feel regret over your financial situation. On top of that, dealing with the pain of neglecting yourself in a toxic relationship can be incredibly challenging. These experiences can make you feel overwhelmed and hopeless, but there are ways to navigate through this. 
First, let’s normalise mistakes and recognise that you did the best you could with the resources and information you had at the time. It’s okay to make mistakes. You’re not alone in making poor financial decisions. Many people have lost money in investments, and this has been a common occurrence since the early days of financial markets, dating back to the 17th century and beyond. Adopting a growth mindset can help you learn from these mistakes and improve. Here are a few journal prompts to help you reflect on what you could have done better now, looking back with hindsight:
- What information or resources could have helped me make better investment decisions?
- How could I have better assessed the risks involved in my investments?
- What financial habits or practices can I change to avoid similar mistakes in the future?
- What steps can I take to make better investment decisions in the future?
- How can I ensure that I only use spare money for investments?
Remember, money can be earned back. It may take a little longer, but it’s possible to not only recover but also grow even stronger. For instance, successful individuals like Warren Buffett and Elon Musk have faced setbacks in their careers but bounced back stronger than before. They demonstrate the resilience needed to overcome financial challenges and achieve success. It’s essential to be resilient, learn from your experiences, and continually strive to improve.
Consider speaking to a financial advisor or counsellor who can help you create a plan to manage your debt and finances. Start by making a detailed budget to track your expenses and find areas where you can cut back. Additionally, look for ways to increase your income, such as part-time jobs or freelance work.
When facing feelings of worthlessness and shame, it’s helpful to consult a mental health professional who can offer strategies to manage these emotions and boost your self-esteem. Engaging in activities that bring you joy, such as hobbies, exercise, or spending time with loved ones, can also help uplift your spirits. If you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, please reach out immediately to a crisis helpline like SOS - 1767 or a trusted person for support.
Remember, our inner voice plays a crucial role in how we perceive ourselves. Being self-critical can hinder our ability to find solutions and improve, similar to having a critical boss rather than a supportive one. Consider yourself the leader of the millions of cells in your body. Treat yourself with kindness and compassion, just as you would guide and nurture a dedicated team. I hope you will choose to be a good boss, because all the cells in your body are working very hard to help you survive and thrive. Help them by practising kindness and love. Practise positive self-affirmations such as:
- “I am capable of overcoming challenges.”
- “I deserve love and respect.”
- “I learn from my mistakes and grow stronger every day.”
Coping with past relationship trauma is challenging and therapy can help you process your feelings about your past relationship and the betrayal you experienced. Journalling about your experiences and emotions can be a therapeutic way to understand and deal with your feelings. Here are a few more journal prompts that might help you reflect on the learning points from these experiences:
- What have I learned about myself through my financial struggles and past relationship?
- How can I use these experiences to make better decisions in the future?
- What are some positive qualities or strengths that I have discovered about myself during these difficult times?
- How can I practice self-compassion and forgiveness towards myself?
For your current relationship, lying can feel like an easier route as a way of protecting yourself. It helps to avoid uncomfortable discussions. However, it’s important to consider the lasting impact on the relationship. If you’re willing, make time to reflect on your ideal relationship and the values you want to be known for. Honesty and trust are foundational to healthy relationships. Here are a few journal prompts to help you explore this further:
- How does honesty contribute to building trust in my relationships?
- What are my values around honesty and integrity in relationships?
- How can I communicate openly and honestly with my partner about my financial situation and emotional struggles?
Feeling disgusted and shameful is tough, but practising self-compassion by being kind to yourself and recognising that everyone makes mistakes and has regrets can help. If you feel comfortable, seek guidance from a religious leader or community who can offer you spiritual support and reassurance. Many religious teachings emphasise the importance of forgiveness and the possibility of redemption, so speak to a spiritual advisor to explore these teachings and find comfort.
Moving forward, set small, achievable goals for yourself to work towards a more positive future. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who can offer encouragement and help you stay motivated. Remember, you are not alone, and there are many resources and people who can support you through this difficult time.
Hoping for peace is a beautiful desire, but desire alone isn’t enough. Being true to yourself and truly accepting yourself for all your strengths and weaknesses is what will help you gain lasting peace. Loving yourself first and being kind to yourself is the first step. As the saying goes, “Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.” Taking the first step to seek help is already a significant move towards recovery and a better future - Well done! 
From all your sharing in your 3 post, it’s evident that you’ve shown resilience by seeking guidance and reflecting on your experiences. Your willingness to learn and improve demonstrates courage and determination. I trust in your ability to overcome obstacles and create a brighter future for yourself.
Please take care and reach out if you need further assistance. 
Warm regards,
Cool Breeze =)