Uhhhh Soo I like selfharm when irritated and maybe have suicidal thoughts (passive one ig like idm dying early that kind) so I treat death as like a platform to escape problems that I’m facing. I have the selfharm and suicidal thoughts for like 2-3yrs . Do I need to looks for help ? Go counselingor smt ?
Hi @user6025,
Thank you for sharing this with me—it takes a lot of strength to talk about these feelings, even in a post. I hear how much you’ve been struggling, and I want you to know that your pain is valid. The fact that you’ve been dealing with self-harm and suicidal thoughts for years sounds exhausting, and it makes sense that you’d see death as an escape when things feel so heavy.
You asked if you should look for help or counselling—and honestly? Yes. If these thoughts have persisted, your coping methods may not be effective. Counselling could help you find safer ways to handle irritation and hopelessness so life doesn’t feel like something you just have to endure.
For now, if self-harm feels like the only way to cope, could you try small distractions first? Like talking to your very close friends until the urge passes? And if the suicidal thoughts ever get stronger—like if you start thinking about how or when—please reach out to a crisis line.
You don’t have to figure this out alone. Would you be open to looking up just one mental health resource today? Even reading about others’ experiences with therapy might help you feel less stuck.
Whatever you decide, I hope you keep reaching out when it gets hard. You deserve support.
Hello @user6025
Thank you for your question.
It’s actually something really relatable to me - about more than 1/2 year ago, I posted this post/ question on let’s talk where I too ask something similar about whether it’s normal to constantly think about dying as a form of escape (I’ve been thinking about death for a long time now).
I’m not sure why you asked this question but maybe because a part of you knows that this is probably not healthy or good. So yes, to answer your question, I think it’ll be helpful to try out counselling where you can explore why you feel this way and develop healthier coping skills to cope with the self-harm and even thoughts.
Therapy won’t be an easy journey, it might not completely eradicate your thoughts (till this day, I still think about death from time to time) but it can about better clarity about how you feel and equip you with healthier coping skills so that you can thrive and lead a meaningful life.
Wishing you well, do let us know if you do choose to start therapy. Let us know too if you need any resources on where to seek therapy.
Take care! 
Yes, go to ur school counselor or polyclinic to ask for a referral. I was like that for every long n thought that it was not serious enough for professional help. That snowballed n made me attempt, hospitalised n received help. Recovered to dormant but will relaspe sometimes but its ok
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hey, @user6025
i understand how ur feeling. i was once like that, too. trust me, things will get better. i recommend telling someone whom you trust dearly. it can be a friend, family member or a school consellor, if youd like. you said youve been selfharming and having suicidal thoughts for 2-3 years? well, all i gotta say is im proud of you. but why? because youre still here. even after many years of suufering, youre still here, and alive. maybe dying early seems like a solution to all of your problems. i used to think the same. but no, i was wrong. because there are still so many things in life that you havent experienced yet. there are so many people out there who care sm for you, even though it doesnt seem like it. maybe try doing stuff which you like to keep you distracted? and when youre irritated, try not to self harm. instead, you can take deep breaths, do something you love, take a rest or simply write how you feel in your journal. trust me, it helps a lot! im alw here for u when you need it, okay! keep going, i believe in you ! <3
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hey @user6025,
i’m glad you’ve reached out to speak to people! these suicidal thoughts, even they’re relatively passive and just a “escape” type of idea, still aren’t helpful and can be destructive to you in the long run. especially since you mentioned that you’re already self harming, it might be good to seek professional support.
i know that it can be a bit difficult to reach out to counselling immediately though, both because it takes time and courage to reach that stage. for now, you could consider some healthier alternatives to self-harming or reframing your suicidal thoughts
(1) i read this really good post on tumblr where instead of saying you’re going to do something harmful, you could reframe it by saying something really absurd instead. for example, “this work is so hard…i’m going to run away and join the circus” it really helps to snap you out of whatever mental state you’re in at the moment, and less destructive thoughts lead to less destructive behaviours!
(2) sh is usually a form of release, or seeking-behaviour. if you need a distraction, you can consider going on a run, snacking on a cold ice cube, or even eating something spicy for a kick! i know for some people they also use non-toxic pens to draw on themselves as a much less harmful alternative.
of course, there’s also different professionals you can seek help from, that i’ll add below. i hope this all helps you, and i’m really proud of you for reaching out with this in the first place! we all support you getting better 
• SOS 24-hour Hotline: 1-767
• SOS 24-hour WhatsApp Chat: 9151 1767
• IMH 24-hour Mental Health Helpline: 6389 2222
• mindline.sg 24-hour Helpline: 6389-2222
• mindline.sg 24-hour Online Chat: mindline.sg | Free Mental Health Resources & Mindfulness Tools in Singapore
Oh my but like I really don think it’s that serious though . Cause I won have like suicidal thoughts all the time I think? It’s more noticable when I’m facing like some problems or when I’m tired. But ik I won cause like uhhhh I make a promise to myself that I would live at least until 30-30+. And selfharm it ONLY happens when I’m irritated. I’m jus conflicted as idk if this is serious enough for me to go counseling lolll that’s y I’m asking this q
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Yeah, i just wanna let u know that a normal person wont have suicidal thoughts when life get tough or only wanna live ti 30 plus. I only wanted to live until before 30 last time. I mean i still kinda wanna not exist when life is tough but wont attempt
hello, thank you for sharing and being open about it. it’s strong of you to reach out about this topic
firstly, i think its really important that you’re acknowledging these unhealthy thoughts. it sounds like maybe you’re really overwhelmed with things in life and exhausted.
i think seeing a counsellor will definitely help. it rlly helps a lot to have someone to speak freely with, and to share a professional 3rd person view with you.
last time, i thought my suicidal thoughts weren’t that serious. but i spoke to a therapist and she helped me understand my thought patterns and habits. and though i still had my family/studies problems etc, i became more at peace and stopped feeling so overwhelmed. so i would recommend you to try speaking with a mental health professional also, you’ll get some helpful insights
that being said, feel free to rant about anything or share your thoughts here as well. i’d be happy to be a listening ear.
it’s great that you’re trying to take a step toward better self care. continue to stay strong and please remember to prioritise your own wellbeing!
Uhhhhh hi? Jus a quick q like uhhhh is like mine serious enough or a valid reason to go counseling?I mean I’m like 16 turning 17 so like is this serious teenage issues or like smt else? U c me asking another person the same q in the post but like I thin I need like reassurance cause like it’s not consistent for me. Btw I’d I go counseling what wld I expect? Will they have to get my parents involve or smt ? Cause if they wanna get my parent into the situation than idt I will go as it wld jus enhance what I’m alr facing
hi @user6025 , yes, even if you didn’t have suicidal thoughts also, its perfectly fine and normal nowadays to see counsellor/therapist. and no matter how serious or constant your suicidal thoughts are, its not healthy to have self-harming ideas at all.
in my opinion, these kinds of self-harming thoughts and behaviour tends to be a coping mechanism when you’re faced with a lot of challenges, and don’t know how else to stop the pain. so its not just teenage issues. it shows you’re dealing with a lot of burden, and possibly feeling like you’re one too.
as for what to expect when seeing a counsellor, they will keep things completely confidential unless they see that you’re legit gonna do something dangerous immediately to harm urself or someone else.
from my experience, the counsellor will gather information during the first session. then they will plan how they can work with you to improve your thought patterns and behaviours in the next few sessions. it will take time to see the effects, because you will have to try and make changes in your daily routine or habits, but it helps you get a better and healthier perspective of everything.
if ur curious about anything else can ask. and if you’re comfy, update when you do end up booking a session : ) stay strong.
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it may not seem “serious” enough but i can tell u frm my own experience that even passive thoughts aren’t super good for you because your thoughts can really affect everything! sometimes the more you think about it the more it’ll subconsciously affect your mood, appetite, etc. trust me from personal experience it’s not good to have these recurring thoughts too
you don’t have to get your parents involved if you don’t want to okay i’d say go for the counsellor but there’s also online options if it helps!
Ok I thin the more serious one is me selfharming when irritated sooo uhhh maybe I try find some ways to deal with it first
Hello @user6025
Apologies for the delay in response, been a hectic weekend for me.
I think the common misconception about therapy or even counselling is that you have to be struggling damn bad before you seek help. But that’s not true. How I like to see therapy/ counselling is like taking vitamins.
Taking vitamins doesn’t necessarily means that there is something wrong with you. Sometimes it could just mean you want to enhance/ improve your health. Likewise going for counselling can help improve/ enhance your well-being.
I hope you’ll give counselling a try.
Take care.
yeah thats a good idea to focus on one thing first!
a technique i read online was to try putting it off for 5 minutes every time you get the urge, and the urge usually goes away by then! if not you can try any safe substitutes you find online 
u can do this!
Quick update I did went to c a para counselor.i think it didn’t help much loll.he basically ask me to like monitor and record like when I selfharm and c if there is a pattern to it.so like I ask him like is this serious like those kind that need emergent care, and like it’s like bad but not that serious. and so like uhhhh I jus thin counseling don vv suite me so I think I will jus live with it and like if it gets serious than I go look for help again.
Hello @user6025
Thank you for the update! I heard that you gave counselling a try and feel like it didn’t suit you. I think ultimately you know yourself best and know your needs but I would encourage you
- To try the activity that the para counsellor suggested
- that if you noticed to realise that the self harm or your mood is getting worse and it’s starting to affect you to sellers help.
Would encourage to try counselling or therapy again, sometimes we just haven’t found someone we can gel with or the person with the right advices/ skills.
In the meanwhile, feel free to chat in this let’s talk community, know that we will always be rooting for you.
Take care!
Heyooo wanted to chime in and reaffirm you that anything you feel like you would like some support on managing your emotional or mental health, doesn’t matter the severity of your situation, I strongly believe that it is good to seek professional support!!!
Hearing your update, I wanna also share that finding support sometimes also takes a bit of trial and error (that’s sth most people aren’t aware abt unfortunately). It’s like finding a GP doctor or finding a friend to talk to, there’s sometimes a mismatch between ourselves and the person who is providing help, and that just means that particular individual is not suitable to your needs, but there will ultimately be someone out there who can make you feel supported. I know it can be frustrating, but I hope you know that finding support is always a good move to take care of yourself.
There’s also a full range of different kind of support you can find - like social events where individuals gather tgt to talk abt their feelings (wellbeing circles - can google them), chatting online here on let’s talk, talking to para c like you did, or finding counsellors or therapists in the community (AIC CREST), etc etc.
I really hope you continue to seek help and hope you don’t get hurt anymore!!! 