I’m always wishing I could go back to being thirteen, despite the fact that i AM literally just a few years older than that. I wish that I could go back to youth and mess around without much consequences. I wish I could watch a bunch of movies and shows and fanfiction and books without feeling like i’m too old for this. I just want to accept myself and my actions. Nostalgia is the death of me, and I can’t think of anything past 15. I just want to be thirteen forever. How do I find closure to this?
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Hello @user1329
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. I think it’s natural to want to go back to our younger days especially when it’s much more carefree and innocent. However it seems that these thoughts and feelings are affecting/ bothering you - please to feel free to correct me if I am wrong.
I think firstly you should acknowledge and validate your feelings - like I shared earlier, it’s normal to want to go back in time - to simpler times, you’re allowed to grieve for that simplicity again.
I think looking for closure is about finding a way to move forward in life in a healthier manner. It doesn’t mean that we forget about the past or that it isn’t important, rather it’s about how do we integrate our past and our present together.
We’ll all grow up and mature, but it doesn’t mean that you have to give up what you like when you were younger - whether it’s watching a old cartoon or reading fanfiction, frankly speaking there is no age limit to liking these things.
I think it’s important to reflect what do you miss most about being 13 and how you can bring that into your present self. Of course somethings do change hence it’s important to also have that growth mindset and be open to change but change takes time and effort - so don’t be too hard on yourself too.
I think it’s good to keep an open mind about things, like for me in my 20s I still love to watch cartoons (rip cartoon network) but I also am open to new experiences, I like to watch the news and learn about current affairs.
It’s ok to feel stuck, it takes time to figure out things, honestly when I’m in my teenage years, it was a lot of exploration - likes, dislikes, values, identity etc. If you ever feel very stuck and lost and require guidance, please do reach out to someone, it could be your parents or a professional like a counsellor - they’ll be able to explore things with you. Alternatively, you’re always welcome back on loet’s talk to share your thoughts and feelings.
I hope things get better for you. Take care! 
Hi @user1329,
We hear you.
You’re feeling this pull—backward, to a time that felt lighter, easier, safer. When the world didn’t expect you to be anyone other than someone who laughs too loud, gets obsessed with shows, or lives whole worlds inside your head. That version of you felt right. It made sense. And now… things don’t feel that simple anymore, do they?
It’s okay to miss your younger self.
It’s okay to want your younger self back.
And it’s okay to not yet know what comes next.
I want you to know that just because you’re getting older, doesn’t mean you lose those parts of yourself. You don’t outgrow joy. Or imagination. Or softness. And liking stories, fanfiction, or childhood comfort things? That’s not being childish—that’s being human. And sometimes being human is the bravest, hardest thing.
You said, “Nostalgia is the death of me.” That hit me.
It sounds like you’re holding a lot, quietly. Maybe more than anyone knows.
And I want to gently ask—are you safe right now? Are you feeling okay in your body?
If that ever shifts, or you feel overwhelmed by it all, please reach out. You deserve someone to sit with you, not rush you, not fix you—but just to be with you while it feels heavy.
You asked, “How do I find closure?”
Maybe closure doesn’t mean forgetting or letting go. Maybe it means honouring your younger self—that thirteen-year-old you. If you had one thing to ask your younger self, what does your younger self want you to carry forward?
What part of your younger self still wants to play, to dream, to feel?
What would it be like to live as your younger self and you—at the same time?
You’re not broken for wanting to stay in the past.
You’re trying to feel safe. And safety is what we’ll build first. Together, gently, at your pace. We’re not here to rush you. We’re here to walk with you.
You’re not alone in this. Let’s take it slow.
Nostalgia is something that does create very real intense feelings — Nostalgic memories hold so much joy, sadness, love, and loss. It’s really normal to miss good times
I’m also hearing that you’re also not able to see past 15. To some, nostalgia also has feelings of hope of more of such good things to come, but it sounds like there’s a sense of emptiness instead for you? It sounds scary to not be able to imagine what good things come next. And the good times at 13 probably sound really safe compared to that.
I’m wondering if nostalgia can come with you to the present, what does that look like in your life today? Whatever you did do and miss doing, whatever you didn’t get to do and with you could do now?
Answering this might feel like the opposite of closure — but we don’t have to say goodbye to things immediately. It’s like watching a good show and hitting the close button before it finished, that kind of good bye can be unsatisfying. But I’m wondering if there’s room for you to kind of still revisit the things you’re trying to say goodbye to. I’m also sharing that even if you have to pause the stuff that you did at 13 for a while, it doesn’t mean you can’t revisit them later too — a goodbye for now, but not forever.
I’m wondering how that sounds like to you? The warmest hugs to you regardless, your nostalgia and the feelings of it all are seen and so valid