Idk what is fun anymore

As I go into adulting, I often find myself being very down. I find myself being a party pooper often times and I dont enjoy things i used to before. Even hanging out with friends, them sharing their joy, I dont feel sincere and happy for them because i dont know how to feel happy even and I am afraid this will affect my job hunt as i realise employers want people who r optimistic especially those in fun environment and i dont want to force myself to feel joy… If the organisation is fun, I would feel happy to be part of them but i can also see myself being tired because I cannot find joy and fun in life. Although I really envy people who can feel happy and joy easily cuz i feel like i am numb already… Nothing pleased me, nothing is fun. I dont know how to live anymore…

Dear @anonymous327 ,

Thank you for reaching out here to share with us your discomforts and struggles. I’m really sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way. :people_hugging:

It’s common for people to experience changes in their interests and emotions as they transition into adulthood. This change can feel very challenging and overwhelming. Adulthood often brings new responsibilities and pressures that are very different from the relatively structured and supportive environment of school life. These changes can make it difficult to find joy in the things you once enjoyed.

Firstly, let’s recognise that it’s okay to feel the way you do. There is no shame or judgement in your feelings. Your body is responding with numbness or a freeze response as a way to protect you when things feel overwhelming. As you build up a sense of safety, joy and other comfortable feelings will return. :grinning:

Everyone experiences phases where they may feel down or disconnected from the things they once enjoyed. It’s important to understand that these feelings don’t indicate inadequacy; they’re a natural part of life. With time and self-care, it’s possible to emerge from this phase with a renewed sense of spark and joy in life. The goal isn’t just to experience joy but also to improve our ability to regulate our nervous system, allowing us to navigate through various emotions and enjoy a fulfilling life.

If you find that nothing seems fun or enjoyable anymore, it might be helpful to explore new activities or hobbies. Sometimes, trying something completely different can reignite a sense of joy and excitement. It could be anything from learning a new skill, joining a club, or volunteering for a cause you care about.

It’s also essential to take care of your mental health. Feeling numb or disconnected can be a sign of depression or other mental health issues. Consider talking to a counsellor or therapist who can help you work through these feelings and find strategies to cope with them. They can provide a safe space for you to express your emotions and help you find ways to reconnect with joy and happiness.

It’s perfectly okay to not feel happy all the time. Life has its ups and downs, and everyone experiences moments of feeling low. However if your sense of feeling low seems to be persisting, please seek support. The earlier we seek support the easier it will be to help recalibrate the nervous system.

Here are a few journal prompts that might help you explore these feelings further:

  1. What activities or hobbies used to bring you joy? Can you identify why they no longer feel enjoyable?
  2. When was the last time you felt genuinely happy or content? What were you doing, and who were you with?
  3. How do you feel about the expectations placed on you to be optimistic or joyful, especially in a job setting?
  4. What small steps can you take to start rediscovering joy in your daily life?
  5. Reflect on a time when you supported a friend through a tough period. How did you help them, and what can you learn from that experience to apply to your own situation?

Regarding your concerns about job hunting and the expectation to be optimistic, it’s important to be honest with yourself and potential employers. You shouldn’t force yourself to feel joy. It may be worthwhile to focus on finding a work environment that values authenticity and where you feel comfortable being yourself. Employers appreciate genuine enthusiasm and dedication, which can be shown in many ways beyond just being outwardly cheerful. Here are three strategies or options you could consider:

  1. Showcase Your Skills and Knowledge: Highlight your expertise and passion for your field during interviews or in your resume. Discuss specific projects or achievements that demonstrate your dedication and commitment to your work.

  2. Demonstrate Proactive Problem-Solving: Employers value employees who can identify challenges and take initiative to solve them. Showcase examples of times when you proactively addressed issues or improved processes in previous roles.

  3. Build Strong Relationships: Emphasise your ability to collaborate effectively with colleagues and stakeholders. Highlight instances where you’ve contributed positively to team projects or supported coworkers in achieving common goals.

By focusing on these strategies, you can convey your genuine enthusiasm and dedication to potential employers, even if you don’t feel outwardly cheerful all the time. This authenticity and commitment can make a positive impression and set you apart during your job search.

Most importantly please be kind to yourself during this time and give yourself the space to heal and grow. If possible, surround yourself with supportive people who understand what you’re going through. It’s okay to feel how you’re feeling. Take it one step at a time. You’re not alone in this, and there are people and resources available to support you.

I hope the above has been helpful and if you’d like more resources or if there is anything else you’d like to share with us, please do. We’re here to listen to you, your feelings are valid and you matter! :grinning:

Take care,
Cool Breeze =)