Idk what to do, i need help, how do i mentally recover from this?

A friend of mine used to be so so nice to me and would compliment me a lot and say i am his bestest friend ever, and how i am so nice and amazing but he recently confessed to me again (even tho i rejected him before), i said no and now he is really dry and ignoring me, idk how to recover from this, everything he said to me was fake i feel so naive for believing everything all the compliments he said to me was true… i feel so dumb for believing we could have just been friends i already have low self esteem and have little to no friends i feel so lonely a lot of friends leave me and i have trouble making new friends he said he will never leave me, I feel so dumb for believing he was different

How do i recover from this


Hi Nightblast,

it must be a confusing and hurtful time for you. As you struggle to understand this, I appreciate that you have kept your boundaries in letting him know you are not prepared to be in a romantic relationship with him. I also appreciate your attention to the need for friends and now that he started ignoring you, this need is even more felt!

I don’t know the situation - perhaps he needs time to figure out this friendship. Perhaps he does not know how to take rejection… I do think his reaction is more a reflection of his coping and not a reflection of you.

Do speak to a counsellor or a trusted friend to help in your process of recovery.


Hello @Nightblast thank you for sharing :people_hugging: it’s understandable why you are feeling this way and its totally okay but I think like what @rock2fakie his reaction is not a reflection of who you are, in fact it was a good thing that you were genuine and did not lead him on :slightly_smiling_face:

Take your time to process this and reconnect with the people that care about you! Which includes us heh :otter: So do feel free to come back any time if you need a listening ear or 2 :ear::ear:

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you know what, quantity of friends don’t matter.

all we need is just that one or two who love us just the way we are.


Hi there @Nightblast

Thanks for coming on here and sharing about your struggles. We’re definitely here for you - to listen and see what we can do to help you through this rough period. First off, I’m terribly sorry to hear what you’ve been put through by someone you considered a friend. This person’s actions did not match up with what he said to you - leading you to feel so hurt. :people_hugging:

I can see how important friendships are to you, and to trust another person and to open up to is definitely not easy, especially for you. :pensive: Now, this could be a time to take stock in terms of what do you look for in a friend. Perhaps checking in with you values can point you towards the kind of person you are and who you want to be surrounded by. Consider the things you value in a friendship and list them down - this helps you to figure out:

  • What do you look for: List the things you want in your friendships. Then, ask yourself how you contribute to the things you want. For example, if you want honesty in your friends, honesty is likely one of your values.
  • What are your deal-breakers: List the things you can’t/won’t tolerate in your friendships. Then, ask yourself how you can behave to avoid those deal-breakers. For example, if you don’t want dishonesty that’s another way to recognize that honesty is one of your values.
  • How must you change to attract these kinds of people: Although we can’t choose all of our relationships, like parents and relatives, we can play a role in attracting our friends and potential partners. Imagine the kind of people you want to be around, then identify the values you’d like to exemplify in that company. For example, if you want supportive friends, then being a supportive friend may be one of your values.

The thing about self esteem or self worth is that it can be built and strengthened so that it can withstand just a bit better in case this happens again. Don’t let setbacks define you - you’re a different person than the one you were before as you now have the insight of looking out for these red flags! Instead, encourage yourself (engage in positive self-talk), be kind to yourself, and shift (to a more helpful) perspective. :smiley:

Hoping to hear back from you. Let us know what you think. Until then, take care! :wave:t2:


Actually I think that whatever he says still holds through but maybe he’s ignoring you because he’s sad that you rejected him (again)?

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