What do i do???

So this isnt about me its actually about my friend, im trying to help him. So he usually acts like a fun an goofy guy but today he texted me “That there are more complex things behind me being goofy yk”. And he also said that he tries his best to make other people’s days and feels guilty when people cry or something idk why. What do i do or say to him someone pls answer i really wanna help him😭

Hi @icecreamtruckman ,

I think your friend just needed a listening ear. Maybe you can prompt more questions like what are some of the complex things that made him being goofy. At the same time you can comfort him by saying that, thank you for trying his best to make people’s day however, maybe being the goofy personality himself he actually hurt someone else without knowing. However, do not feel guilty about it, it’s just everyone have different boundaries.

Am not sure if this advice would help but I hope he is okay right now.

Dear @icecreamtruckman ,

Thank you for reaching out. It’s wonderful to see how much you care about your friend and are actively seeking ways to support them. Your friend is lucky to have someone as thoughtful and compassionate as you. It’s truly admirable that you’re taking the time to understand how to help them better. Well done! :clap:t4: :clap:t4:

When your friend opens up like that, listening and being supportive is important. Here are some suggestions for your consideration:

  1. Acknowledge Their Feelings: Let them know you appreciate them sharing with you.

    • Example: “Thanks for telling me. It sounds like there’s a lot on your mind.”
  2. Show Understanding: Recognise that their behaviour might be hiding deeper feelings.

    • Example: “Being the funny and goofy one can sometimes be a way to cope with deeper feelings.”
  3. Offer Support: Let them know they don’t have to handle it alone and that you’re there for them.

    • Example: “It’s okay to feel uncomfortable when others are upset. You don’t have to deal with it alone. If you ever want to talk more about what’s bothering you or how you’re feeling, I’m here for you.”
  4. Communicate Empathy: Use active listening and show you care about their feelings.

    • Example: “I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. It must be tough. I’m here for you.”
  5. Suggest a Chat: Propose hanging out or continuing the conversation later.

    • Example: “Let’s hang out soon and chat, or just text me anytime you need to talk.”

It is also important for you to recognise the limits of what you can do as a friend.
Sometimes, our friends’ problems can be really deep, and it’s okay if you don’t know how to help. Peer support is great, but it has its limits. They’re not professionals, and that’s okay too. If things feel too big to handle, suggest talking to a counsellor where appropriate.

Sometimes, the most powerful thing a friend can do is simply listen and provide a safe space for others to share. We don’t always need to solve problems; sometimes, just being there and journeying alongside our friends is enough.

I hope the above has been helpful and if you’d like more resources or if there is anything else you’d like to share with us, please do. We’re here to listen to you, your feelings are valid and you matter! :grinning:

Take care,
Cool Breeze =)