I'm two different people but not actually

Ask a Therapist Is This Normal?
1

I’m very aware of what’s happening, and I’ve read the DSM-5 and ICD-11, and I’m like 100% not have OSDD or DID.

Some days, like a week or two, my body acts up, I feel heavy in myself, my muscles everything, my neck pain acts up, I can hardly muster the strength to breathe, my mind is just full of these negative, insecure, sometimes nihilistic thoughts and I just have to drag them and myself to places I need to be like school, and its not as bad as it sounds, yeah, because I’m somehow in this drunken state when Im doing what im doing, and it feels like the world is hardly real. then other days, my body is like bursting with energy, I’m suddenly so confident and everything, and im taking up projects, leading stuff, I’m also eating a lot, getting stuff I like from outside, and also dont let anyone ruin my vibe, like I will actually crash out I think because im so scared of slipping back into that just tired and exhausted state of like dgaf, because it does impede on my life and it feels like Im tumbling off the edge once the sadness happens and my vibe is ruined like yk it sounds not serious when I mention “vibe”, I get it but it just is. like I blackout and I just be falling asleep anywhere even with like 8 hours of sleep I jsut be sleeping the rest of the day off no matter where I am, not getting anything done which frustrates me.

so like… I just wanted to ask if its normal, if I have like a mild kind of depression, because I know depression can be hardcore, or just… idk need to get jumped once in a while. it might also help ot know im in the process of getting diagnosed with ADHD, so it might just be tht

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Hi OP,

I am not a licensed professional, so I don’t have the authority to diagnose whether or not you have the mental disorder that you listed out. However, I have friends who have similar behaviors that you listed, like falling asleep anywhere, big bursts of energy then suddenly the next day, they just don’t feel like getting up from bed. They’re going to get it checked up by a psychiatrist, but we think it could be ADHD. There may be other symptoms not just from what you typed out that could also be an indication to other types of mental disorder.

I’m glad you’re in the process of getting yourself checked out for ADHD, so perhaps you’ll find a more absolute answer from the psychiatrist :slight_smile: You can also ask other concerns and symptoms you have to them.

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Hi @closedolphin3940,

It seems like you’re observing a distinct cycle in your mood, where some periods feel heavy, unreal, and exhausting, both physically and mentally. Conversely, there are times when you feel energised, confident, and productive, though these moments can also feel a bit overwhelming due to the drive and anxiety about potentially crashing back down. I’m hearing that you’re trying to figure out whether this pattern aligns with depression, mood variations related to ADHD, or something else entirely.

While I can’t diagnose you or make definitive conclusions based on a message, what you’re describing definitely deserves attention from a clinician, especially since you’re currently undergoing an ADHD assessment.

A useful next step might be to track the duration of these phases, the quality of your sleep during each, and if there are distinct triggers or patterns involved. When you reflect on it, do these “up” and “down” states seem connected to external events, stress, or changes in sleep? Or do they appear to shift more independently of those factors? During the high-energy times, do you feel completely rested and in control, or more like you’re riding a wave of momentum that’s tough to manage?

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Hey @closedolphin3940 ,

What you wrote, honestly, that comes through quite clearly in your post. You seem to have spent quite a bit of time observing yourself and trying to make sense of the shifts.

What stood out reading this was not really DID or OSDD, but how extreme the contrast feels between the “heavy exhausted” periods and the “bursting with energy” periods. The way you described dragging yourself through school, sleeping everywhere despite enough rest, feeling detached from the world, then suddenly swinging into confidence, projects, leadership, spending, protecting your mood very intensely… that sounds genuinely tiring to manage.

And just because depression can look “hardcore” online or in media does not mean your struggles are invalid unless they reach that level. A lot of people minimise their symptoms because they are still functioning externally.

The ADHD assessment process is important here too because ADHD does not only affect focus. Some people also experience emotional regulation difficulties, burnout cycles, inconsistent energy, sleep disruption, overwhelm, and periods of overcompensating when they finally feel motivated or “good again.”

The “drunken state” and “world hardly real” feeling can also happen when someone is mentally and emotionally overloaded for long periods. Sometimes the brain starts going a bit into autopilot just to keep functioning.

At the same time, I think it would help not to immediately force yourself into figuring out “what exact disorder this is.” Right now, your body and mind already seem quite exhausted from trying to hold everything together.

One thing I would gently pay attention to: When the higher-energy periods happen, do you feel rested and stable underneath it, or does it feel more like “I need to keep this going or I’ll crash again”?

That difference matters quite a bit.

You do not sound lazy or dramatic here. You sound like someone whose system has been swinging between depletion and overcompensation for a while. It makes sense that you are confused and trying to understand it.

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Hi you guys, thank you so much for commenting. I think whether or not you are a professional, feedback is important. That being said, I will reply to each of you.

@Obi_Wan_Kenobi
I have tracked my phases, and I’m thinking it might be Anxiety with ADHD, might, tho I would rather get an official diagnosis because I doubt I have enough experience to label myself in any way. Initially, I thought they were affected by sleep, as they seemed synonymous, however, I found that the inverse was true, and that these periods of sadness and inattention as well as hyperactivity and … the best word would be euphoria(?), actually affect the hours i sleep. From insomia to probably a minor version of hypersomnia. (yes i did more searches and learned a few buzzwords). As for if they shift independently, I honestly cannot recall, but my best guess would be somewhat, because something mildly devastating could happen and I would feel it really heavily for a while (if it’s personal) but then in a few hours itd be over with the occasional reminder of that and then it’s back ot feeling it strongly. sorry some extra details. Anyways, I still do think they could be event-driven because the alternative… doesn’t make sense to me. Of course, that could be because of a disorder but I’m not letting myself jump to any conclusions here. I will hence update you on that. Oh I did find that if I experience anger because of a certain events, or… typically a buildup of some really outrageous ■■■■, the anger is out of my control and I can enter a state of hyperactivity and that “depressive” state? It does cause me to have certain destructive ideations and that is where I’ll say I feel that I’m riding a wave of momentum that is PARTICULARLY hard to manage. Other than that, my entire life really has felt out of control from the get-go, which is why I heavily suspect its ADHD, even if I’ve gained some semblance of control from just sheer temporary willpower.

Would just like to end off by expressing my utmost gratitude to you. Have a good life, genuinely.

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@douggydoug

Yesss okay your turn. Similarly, I would not like to jump to any conclusions here regarding mental disorders. That being said, I do hope I will find a more absolute answer from the programme. I dont know if they are licensed psychiatrists but the programme is approved ot hand out diagnoses. I signed up because it’s free and my parents do not believe in spending money on trivial matters like someone’s mental condition. These things, apparently, can be handled by God and God alone (sorry im just kinda bitter) Thank you for your support and all the best to your friends who are experiencing similar symptoms. Do let me know about how it goes if you can… I do need all the insight I can get. THANKS AGAIINN :DDDD

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Hi OP!!

Glad to hear you found a programme that can facilitate to diagnose you free of charge.

I’m so sorry to hear that your parents would rather not spend money for mental health matters…it’s unfortunately pretty common from older generations to believe that seeking help for your mental health is considered “trivial” when it really isn’t.

I also get that feeling of parents enforcing the belief that your problems can be solved by having faith in God…I know it all too well haha as someone who has a devout Christian mum. But just because she feels it works for her, it does not mean it will work for everyone else.

I hope the programme goes well, OP! And thanks for the well-wishes. I’ll try to come back with more insights if my friend decides to go for the ADHD check-up :slight_smile:

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@FuYuan_Affections

Hello! Yes, to start off, I have been observing myself a lot, whenever I felt like I should actually care, and its great that at least someone else feels its not OSDD or DID because I will have people ask me if I want to check for DID but really… I just dont feel like I match the symptoms.

Thank you also for acknowledging that it sounds tiring to manage, because, I mean, that was just very considerate and I feel really validated :DDDDDD.

If I do get diagnosed with ADHD, I think my experiences may start to make a lot more sense because my perception has always been that I’m lazy and that those periods of high energy is just me overcompensating or “getting over it”. But its happened so extensively that I just feel that there is more to it, potentially, ADHD.

I guess burnout cycles and prolonged periods of overload make sense as well. I feel that recognising that could at least help me work my way around those and find a system that I can practice to not force it away but to counteract it ig.

Admittedly, when I’m going through the high-energy phases, I’m just extremely gratefulf or those but I do also get really annoyed when someone tries to antagonise me because I’ve recognised that if i get overloaded with ■■■■ and my happiness is gone, I will start ideating and going through just a long period of anger and overthinking. I just feel really out of grip from my emotions and so in that stage when someone tries something I will lash out at them but I do have a motive for that so maybe that’s saying something about my circumstances instead of an internal, psychological issue.

As usual, I would like to end with my utmost gratitude for your analysis and acknowledgement, and I do hope you have a wonderful rest of your life.