internship anxiety, taking a serious mental toll

[umihe]

I’m currently a poly student doing internship in y2. I’ve been having a lot of anxiety over it. For context, I started here in mid september so it’s been about 1.5 months/under 2 months since starting.

At the beginning, I made mistakes, but I felt my superiors were relatively patient with me and even though i was making mistakes I felt i was slowly adapting and finding my footing. But at some point it’s like a flip switched, when I made mistakes i felt like it was far less tolerated, and I don’t take issue with my mistakes genuinely being pointed out and being asked to correct things, but i’ve experienced a lot of passive aggressive, impatient or just overall discouraging tones/responses both over text and in person, comments like “if it was your first month here still okay, but now still making so many mistakes”, “….cause i do not want to spot any mistakes”, etc. It feels like i literally can’t do ANYTHING right. From the beginning and until now, I was constantly told “you have to ask questions if you don’t know, don’t just sit there” or “you need to communicate”, yet theres times where it feels like i’m indirectly punished for asking questions or trying to communicate — through impatient/discouraging tones, getting anxiety because of it, etc. I understand my industry moves fast, everyone is busy doing everything and my supervisor is especially busy as one of the higher ups in the company, but I feel like i cannot meet these expectations as an inexperienced year 2 intern who has never worked in this industry before and has only been here less than 2 months, yet it’s like i’m expected to already know things without it being said and get work done 90%-100% correct in one check. I’m already trying my hardest to learn and improve yet it feels like its never enough. I could check my work 5-10 times, and yet because i’m inexperienced i still make mistakes and then it doesn’t matter how many times i checked because my superiors think that because theres a mistake it means i didn’t check at all. And theres been times where I’ve been expected to do things that I wasn’t directly told to do and that I didn’t know i was supposed to do at all due to inexperience, yet I get these negative comments for basically not “going the extra mile” , which i know i have to take initiative but again, there’s things i don’t even know fully what to do because of inexperience so I don’t know when or how to go the extra mile unless told. I’ve become seriously afraid of my supervisor and work as a whole with all these negative experiences. I understand fully that this is a business, that my supervisor is always busy and likely under pressure and I can empathise with that, that people communicate differently and some are more “blunt” than others, and that some of these aspects are just part of the working world, but I feel like as an inexperienced intern whose main goal here should be learning and gaining experience, the pressure to get things right in what i feel is still a short period of time and the expectations held over my head are just too much. That even though i try so hard, even when i still have empathy in trying to understand my superiors’ situation, it seems they have forgotten or don’t care that I’m inexperienced

It’s gotten to the point where I feel anxious practically 24/7. I’ve even gotten anxious over the sound/sight of whatsapp notifications fearing another comment or “lecture”. My heart starts to race whenever I’m told these little comments, or when I get messages of them. I come home crying/cry on the way home almost every day, feeling such a strong and different kind of dread at the thought of going to work like my body physically wants to rejects it. Another reason why I’m so stressed and anxious over this is the fact that the company controls about 30% of the grading. I’m someone who takes my academics very seriously and I’ve been mostly excelled at my studies so far, and I’m desparate to keep it that way, so I’m deathly afraid that even though i’m trying so hard, that my supervisor will see me as careless and incompetent and grade me as such, pulling down my gpa.

Through all this, at the very least I have the support of my family and small group of friends, but they can only do so much to help comfort me. I’m so sick of this daily anxiety, of the feeling that things will go wrong, that i’m helpless because no matter how hard i try its just never enough. I don’t have any choice but to push on since internship is a graduation requirement and theres just no avoiding it, but there are times where i almost feel as if being dead is easier than playing this game where i feel i can never win no matter what i do or how hard i try. Talking to my supervisor or colleagues is out of the question when she’s already too busy to exercise patience/give answers I need to questions and I’m already so afraid of speaking to her, and I don’t talk much to my other colleagues either. I try to tell myself i’m here to learn, that i shouldn’t stress so much, but i’m made to feel otherwise.

If anyone has had similar experiences, kind words, advice, anything, I’d really appreciate it. I still have about 3 months left of this so I need to learn how to deal with this, when I can already feel like it has taken such a toll on my mental health.

[lovelychange]

Hi @umihe . I had a rocky start to my intern back when I was in poly. Things don’t stay that way and guess what… you still have time to improve your grades.

I’ll just share my experience cos I just feel you need some basis for comparisons.

Back in 2023, when I was in Y3 sem 2, I was set for a 3mth internship. I had only 12 weeks to secure 50% of my final sem’s grades. Beyond that, my parents made me feel so anxious about going to work that I couldn’t sleep the day before the start of my internship. I woke up couple of times at night, so was not as alert when I eventually woke up. I had no idea of how long my ride to work would be during peak hours, so ended up reporting late on my first day of intern. The HR was waiting outside for my arrival, and I had to apologise couple of times in the day because I still couldn’t adapt to the system.

But fast forward to the last week of intern, my supervisor was even willing to extend my intern for a week just so I could help the next intern settle down with the same ease.

What happened to give them that confidence…

I learnt that you have to be explicit when it comes to whether you understand the task given to you. If you don’t know ask anybody who might know. This might sound easy cos even I had little help with my role back there. I’m not sure if your role is a desk job, but try to do some background research when you are back home. I was fortunate enough to get access to a free certification course related to my work, which I even completed by the end of the period. Guess what, my supervisor even used that push my grade higher at the end of internship. Try to demonstrate that you are knowledgable in the area of work assigned to you at least by the end of the internship. First few weeks, will be rough in that you have to get the rhythm and structure of the workplace. In my first few weeks, I made a mistake which had to be rectified by another professional, who had better expertise in that area. I was worried if I would leave a bad impression, but then I used it as a learning opportunity. Try not to repeat mistakes. Document your work if you can’t remember what you did the last time. This was the advice my supervisor especially gave me. Either a note in your book or a photo on your phone. Actually, taking pictures of the changes you made will be useful in the long run especially when it comes to your final report. Once you catch the rhythm of the work, you can actually “go the extra mile” with ease. You can basically predict the follow up tasks and complete it without being instructed.

About them being blunt towards you… I know how that feels to. No matter how older generations say that we are strawberries and blueberries, we have to act like we are durians! My Hr was extremely blunt on my first day of work about me not being able to remember my cubby hole even after being shown around the office. But fast forward end of the intern, I was able to make her enquire about my future pursuits (positively) even if she just did it for a formality. Guess what, I ended of my intern with such a great feeling, that the same HR came in my dreams and made me smile as I woke up .

All in all, I wish to say you still have a good amount of time to change the impression.

All is well! You can do it!

[nafas]

Hi @umihe

I can really sense how challenging this internship has been for you — the pressure, the fear of making mistakes, and the constant anxiety that now feels like part of your daily life. The way you describe the dread before work, your heart racing at each message, and the tears on your way home shows just how deeply this is affecting you. Anyone in your position would be struggling too. You’re doing your best, and that truly matters.

An internship is meant to be a learning experience—you’re not expected to perform at the same level as seasoned professionals. It’s hard when you’re not getting the guidance or patience an intern deserves, and I can understand how discouraging that can feel. Unfortunately, some workplaces forget that interns are still learning, and their expectations can become unfairly high. That doesn’t reflect your worth or potential.

It might help to take a step back and reflect on where you’ve made mistakes. This is not to criticise yourself, but to notice any patterns or areas that might need extra attention or make tasks clearer next time. When we’re anxious, it’s easy to get caught up in trying to do everything right instead of seeing where the real challenge lies. A little bit of reflection can bring that clarity back. And if you spot an area you’d like to strengthen, you could explore a short course or examples online to build confidence at your own pace.

Since you mentioned that asking questions sometimes feels discouraging or difficult, it might help to find small, lower-stress ways to clarify things. For example, you could note your questions down and send them together in one short message or email, instead of asking on the spot. That way, your supervisor can respond when they have time, and you can still get the guidance you need without feeling like you’re interrupting. A bonus of this is that you have it in writing and can always refer back to it later.

It might also help to keep a small notebook where you jot down instructions, reminders, or lessons learned. Writing things out not only helps you retain information but also lightens the mental load that builds up when you’re anxious. I’ve found that putting things on paper can feel like a small weight lifted, freeing your mind to breathe a little.

I’m really glad you have your family and friends supporting you — that makes such a difference. Still, no one should have to handle this level of anxiety alone. If things continue to feel unbearable, it might help to reach out to a poly counsellor, internship coordinator, or a trusted mentor. They can listen, support you, and step in if needed. You deserve to feel safe and supported, not fearful every day.

For now, please remind yourself that this internship, as painful as it feels, is temporary. It will end. Try to carve out small moments to rest, breathe, and ground yourself after work. You’re already showing strength by reaching out, by reflecting, and by continuing despite how hard it’s been. That resilience is something to hold onto.

You’ve got this! I really hope things start to feel lighter for you soon.

[FuYuan_Affections]

Hey @umihe, from what you’ve written, it sounds like you’ve been living in a constant state of alert, where every message feels like a test you might fail. That kind of hyper-vigilance doesn’t happen overnight, it’s shaped by an environment that rewards precision but punishes uncertainty.

It’s also likely you’re in a high-performing company. That can make every mistake feel heavier than it really is. Still, internship means you’re there to learn, to discover what you don’t yet know and make sense of it through experience. The cracks you’re noticing aren’t carelessness, they’re what pressure looks like when someone is trying too hard to get it all right.

What lovelychange shared gives a helpful contrast, things can shift, not because the system softens, but because you begin to find your footing. What might help you now isn’t to prove perfection, but to create a safe way to ask questions and clarify what’s expected. If direct talk with your supervisor feels impossible, reach out to your internship coordinator. Their role is to help bridge this exact gap.

You also mentioned the grade weight. Before letting that fear drive everything, it may help to check exactly how much it affects your GPA. When we think our future hangs on one experience, stress becomes unbearable… but usually, it’s a smaller piece of the whole.

You’ve shown a lot of self-awareness and congruence even in distress. That’s something to build on. Perhaps lean on your family and friends a bit more to practice how you’d express what’s been difficult, we can even work out a short script if you’d like.

And if the exhaustion ever turns into thoughts that life would be easier to stop, please reach out for help right away: SOS (1-767) or Mindline 1771 on WhatsApp. You don’t need to be in crisis to call; sometimes it’s just to breathe in safety again.

For now, see if you can allow yourself one quiet time, without checking your phone. your worth isn’t hanging by a thread; it’s just hidden under too much noise.

[Jaws]

@lovelychange

No matter how older generations say that we are strawberries and blueberries, we have to act like we are durians!

I love this quote so much. Actually every generation is/was a strawberry generation to the previous so you’re not alone. Even Socrates said it: