I have been really stressed out lately. More staybacks in school, outside of school programmes and exams. I’ve been trying to cope with it all since it is all a part of life. But my parents are just adding on to it. It started with them thinking I’m okay alone since i always got my homework done with no issues but recently, they’ve been critising me much more. When relatives or just my parents talking to me casually, they always bring up my weight or how i look. Something that really pissed me off recently was something my father said. I have been breaking out on my face and my father had to just say, ‘Oh my god, your pimple.’ As soon as i heard it, i instantly felt hurt. This wasn’t the first time they’ve critised me infront of a lot of people. Mentioning my pimple in public, when i was already feeling awful about it, just hurt me even more. Another time while we were having a family dinner, we were just talking about my brother feeling sick. And he had to just mention, ‘she didnt get covid but got pimples’ and laughed with my mother. And i had enough. I spoke up for myself saying, ‘Can you stop? It’s getting freaking annoying’ and he continued provoking me. ( which he always does. ) and i just broke down, putting my earphones on infront of them and my father’s mood changed. He went from laughing with my mother to talking bad about me. I had enough. I broke down even more in front of them and they did nothing. My mother just stared and my father laughed. That was my limit. Another incident was when my mother was talking to my grandma about clothes for me. And when i was trying on the clothes they had bought, my mother said, ‘This one confirm cannot. You look so big.’ Oh gosh. My heart broke. My own mother saying that infront of me. And they still ask why do i self-harm. Is this normal for parents to critise me like i dont have feelings? Is this really normal?
Hi user334658, thank you for reaching out today!
Firstly, I am really sorry you are receiving comments and insults from the people closest to you, your parents, even when you informed them that you are affected by it. It is not normal and not okay, you have feelings and they are valid, your parents are supposed to make you feel safe at home and not make you feel small or ashamed.
It sounds to me that those comments are a daily thing and the ones that you share are some examples of what you are going through daily. It adds up and sooner or later you will hit your limit, with no safe space or outlet for you, it only makes sense that you burst and even after that they continue to provoke not support you, that is not a you problem.
On the note of self-harming, you mentioned that they still ask why you self-harm, do you self-harm to cope or is there more to it than that? I just want to understand better about how you are feeling.
Currently do you have anyone that you feel comfortable to share what you are going through right now? Like a school counsellor or a trusted teacher, alternatively you can always reach out to Mindline at 1771 or SOS at 1767 to speak to someone.
Hey @user334658, thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing more about what you are going through 
I can hear how frustrating it feels to constantly be hearing such comments, especially coming from your parents who you would expect to take on a nicer tone with you. It sounds like you have so much going on for you already at school and the added pressure from your parents has been compounding, making you feel like you are at your breaking point. It can really feel so exasperating hearing these comments on a frequent basis to the point that you are questioning whether receiving such criticisms is normal. Getting acne/pimples is part and parcel of growing up and you do not deserve to be insulted for that!
I used self-harm as a way to cope since I was 12. My parents never noticed since my wounds were never deep enough to bleed. Until one day, when I argued with my mother and everything was just a blur, I picked up a pair of scissors and cut myself. When I did it, my father asked me, ‘why did you cut yourself? is it worth it?’ I didn’t answer. That same cut is now a scar on my wrist. But till this day, I haven’t self-harmed in a while but i have been scratching myself whenever I’m angry.
I hear you, it must be really overwhelming for you. The fact that they do not show concern and instead criticize you, that must be really hurtful to, and I can’t imagine anyone going through what you are going through. You must be feeling so alone but I want to let you know that you are not alone, you deserve proper support and care. I urge you to reach out to someone like a school counsellor/teacher or call to Mindline at 1771 to speak to someone.
Hey, coming from someone that also often feel like people can be quite mean in their comments , it is perfectly valid for you to feel this way. People often make comments when they themselves feel insecure , it’s their words and you really can’t control it, what’s important is that you are worth it for who you are and you perfect just as you. Who cares what others say? It can be hurtful sometimes and you cannot really make them shut up about it or anything, I suggest whenever they make mean comments about you , tell yourself that you are perfect just as you and you are alrdy trying your best! Don’t give up!