I’m currently on internship and so far i guess i’m doing good but i’ve definitely been stressed with the amount of workload i have from work and school but i thought i’ve been doing okay at work and honestly i just really need to get an A for internship as my gpa for poly is already not good and i feel i have dreams of what i wanna do in the future but what if i can’t make it.. i had a mid term review and i kind of already knew what my bosses were gonna say.. they said i need to be more proactive and ideate more on myself because they’ve been just giving me ideas then i execute and they said thats a positive thing about my execution is very good and i get things done on time but i always need guiadance and unable to produce new ideas for them and i know they’ve been telling me that but i genuinely feel i can’t think of new ways i cant think outside of the box and they keep asking it from me and they seem to be getting impatient so what if i am just stupid overall i was thinking why am i being so negative rhey gave me my positive points why not just improve myself but i have 2 months left and does the positive matter if the negative is what they want.. and if this is me in the real world how am i gonna survive in the future.. if i cant think for myself maybe i am just stupid so how i can excel in school i cant excel at work.. cuz you know what they say some ppl may not excel in school and will excel in the real world or vice versa what if i’m not both.. i have no future then and people will say just improve what if im tired what if i see no point like i want to improve but i feel i have no motivation or purpose i feel even if i try so hard i can never accomplish what i want.. its like i have no purpose or direction or hope in life and it makes me feel so bad because everyone has one and i just wanna live life i wanna have fun but i dont work hard for it? i’m not young anymore so i need to have direction but i just wang everything to slow down and just enjoy life..i feel stupid and ungrateful or i just dont feel right idk.. what do i do and is this normal…
Hi @ user0761,
What you’re feeling is normal and it doesn’t mean you’re stupid or without a future.
Some of the feedback that you’ve shared is honestly one of the most common pieces of feedback interns get and it’s not a verdict on your intelligence. Generating ideas independently is a skill that develops with confidence and familiarity, and you’re only partway through. Two months is still real time to show growth in that area. You may want to consider setting aside a few minutes before meetings to jot down even one or two rough ideas, however half-formed they feel. It builds the habit and shows initiative, which is really what they’re looking for.
The bigger thing you’re describing though, the exhaustion, the feeling that there’s no point even trying, wanting everything to slow down, feeling like you have no direction or hope sounds like more than just internship stress. It sounds like you’re running on empty and have been for a while. That’s worth paying attention to, not just pushing through.
You’re not ungrateful for feeling tired. You’re allowed to want to enjoy life. Those two things can coexist with also working toward something. If you feel that you need further support during this stressful time, do reach out to your school counselling service or National Mindline 1771 by calling 1771 or WhatsApp 66691771.
Take care!
Hi @user0761. Firstly I just want to give you some reassurance that everything is going to work out perfectly fine. I just would like to share with you my internship experience from poly.
The night before my internship started I was feeling extremely anxious to the extent where I couldn’t sleep. So, the morning of my internship, I arrived at my internship company more like a zombie, later than when I was supposed to report. Worse thing, I was finding it tough to find my way around the office, getting lost around the office and plus my phone was giving problems with connectivity. I guess it was a perfect example of murphy’s law: whatever could go wrong will go wrong.
For close to a week I was on hyper alert mode, so that I can try to improve the terrible first impression I left. To offset that I got myself to work, trying to understand what was going on, what the daily routine was like, and what my role was. I was from an engineering course, so highly technical. You need to know something to do something. I was getting myself educated about the software I had to deal with, the process I need to work with and possibly the changes I can suggest. Best part I messed up on a crucial thing which only got discovered and troubleshooted in week 4 
. It may sound easy, but it took me close to a month to get this done. By the time I had to present for my mid-term assessment, I had stuff to say. By the time of my end presentation, I knew exactly what I would want to suggest to improve the process.
I feel this depends on the field, and your supervisor. My supervisor was rather chill. Plus my colleagues there were also able to politely say that they are not sure with the job being assigned to them. But as I said earlier, try to observe the routine work that’s being done to find something to suggest. About needing guidance all the time, I was in the same scenario. Best part, I was being compared by my supervisor to the previous intern because I seemingly didn’t know the way around the process I had to deal with. Fast forward to the last day of Intern, I could seemingly impress him so much so that he was considering extending my internship for a day just to brief the next intern 
. Highly clichè it may sound, but I am not exaggerating…
So, things can change for the better. Way better than what you expect it to be. May the force be with you and ATB! You can do it!