Job interview

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I scheduled for a job interview tomorrow and the place that I applied to, is setup like a subway restaurant but it’s not subway (I don’t wanna say the job name). I regret signing up for a interview.. I should’ve never applied I feel like this job would be too hard for me. But I really need a job.. I feel stupid and I know l’ll be incompetent on the job. I hate myself. I want to cancel the interview. Should I still go?

I’m 20 and have no work experience but I really want a job so I can start saving up for a car and buying things that I want. I’m also scared of getting a job because I’m scared I’ll be judged. Any advice? Sometimes I have thoughts of wishing I was never born.

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Hey @user6114

I hear you about "feel stupid and i know i’ll be incompetent”, it sounded like someone already read the verdict on you and stamped it in. I sense a tight, sinking shame underneath your words, the kind that makes everything feel urgent and small at the same time.

From what you shared, a few quick, grounded things I notice and hope to clarify with you:

  • you’re juggling two honest pulls: a real need (money, independence, car) and a loud fear (being judged, making mistakes).
  • your predictions about being “incompetent” are just that, predictions and not facts. they’re being amplified by shame and pressure you’ve given the situation.
  • the thought “i wish i was never born” is serious. even if it comes and goes, it’s a sign you’re under stress. please treat that as important.

Thank you for sharing those; they’re useful and sensible. Perhaps some practical, plain options, pick one, don’t try all

  1. Treat tomorrow as research, not a final exam. Go for 30–40 minutes, listen closely to what the job actually involves, and leave if it’s not a fit. This lowers the stakes a lot.
  2. If you go: prepare two honest lines for “tell me about yourself” and keep them simple:
    — “I’m 20 and this is my first job search. i’m saving for a car and eager to learn.”
    — “I’m reliable, punctual, and open to being taught.”
    Practice them once aloud, right before you leave. that’s enough.
  3. If you still feel that it is impossible to go, reschedule, but don’t ghost. Send a short message: “I need to reschedule, can we find another time?” that protects you and keeps doors open.
  4. A tiny prep routine (10–15 mins): two rounds of slow breathing (4 in / 4 out), read your two lines, set a boundary: “i’ll stay x minutes.” decide your exit plan in advance (e.g., leave after 40 mins if overwhelmed).

One gentle ask.. a lived check, not a test: when you picture telling a close friend the same things you told me, would your words be gentler? what would you say to them? (say it out loud.)

Safety note: you mentioned wishing you were never born. That matters and if these thoughts get stronger or you feel you might act on them, call for help. There is SOS 1-767 or National Mindline 1771 (WhatsApp +65 6669 1771). If you want, tell me how strong the thoughts feel right now (scale 0–10) and we’ll help you make a safety step.

A small reframe to try before sleep: “this hour is information-gathering.” repeat it once, like a tiny permission: you do not have to be perfect; you are allowed to learn.

You’ve already done something hard by asking and naming this. whichever option you choose, show up, reschedule, or practice. It’s a step that keeps your control in your hands. If you want, paste what you’d say for “tell me about yourself” and we’ll help make sure it sounds like you, not like a script.

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Hey @user6114. Thank you for sharing so honestly. I can hear how scared and overwhelmed you feel. A first job interview is huge, and being nervous doesn’t mean you’re stupid or incompetent; it just means this is new to you. Everyone starts somewhere, and most people felt the same way at their first job. I still remember my first ever interview and I was terrified too.

A reframe that helped me a lot (and maybe can help you), and something I keep saying to myself every time I’m going to experience something new is: “It feels scary because it’s unfamiliar, not because I’m incapable or incompetent.” Having no work experience at 20 doesn’t make you less able, okay? It just means you’re at the starting line. Every person you’ll meet at that job had their own first day once. They were taught what to do too.

You said you want a job to save up for a car and buy the things you want, and that’s a really solid reason to try. Maybe this particular job turns out to be not for you, and that’s okay too. But going for the interview will give you practice and confidence for the next one. Even just walking through the process once makes the second time easier. If you go, you don’t need to be perfect. Just be honest that even at 20 with no working experience, you’re still eager and willing to learn. That’s more than enough. And if you truly feel it’s too much, rescheduling is also a valid choice.

About being judged, people in workplaces are used to training new staff, especially when it’s someone’s first job. What you see as “incompetence,” they’ll probably just see as “learning.” You deserve the same patience you’d give a friend if it were their first time.

You mentioned wishing you were never born and that tells me this feels really overwhelming right now. I want to gently remind you that your worth isn’t defined by one interview, one job, or one day. You being here, sharing openly, shows that you’re seeking connection and a way forward. That’s important. If those thoughts are strong or you feel like you might act on them, please reach out to someone right away (a trusted person, or a crisis line).

Whatever you decide either to attend, to reschedule, or even to try a different job later, it’s still a step toward the independence you want and that shows you do want better for yourself. And that’s a really good sign :sunflower:

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Hey OP,

It’s very normal to feel imposter syndrome when you’re starting out something new, especially after you mentioned you’re 20 and this will be your first job.

Think about it in this way: what’s the worst that’s going to happen? You either get the job or don’t get the job. If you don’t get the job, you can apply to other jobs and get another job interview. If you do get the job, that means the job hirer wants to work together with you, regardless of your lack of expertise.

However, if you cancel the interview and not go, then the only thing that’s going to happen is only one: you won’t get the job. What could have been a 50/50 chance is now a definite chance that you are not getting the job because you didn’t go to the interview.

It’s normal to feel like you don’t know what you’re doing. I’m 2 years into my job and I still don’t really know what I’m doing. You just kind of have to fake it ‘til you make it. There will always be a first time for everything, and the only way to get through it is to at least give it a try.

What I would advise to prep for your interview is to research some questions regarding the job position you applied for. Then, prepare the answers in the STAR method: Situation, Task, Action, and Result. You can look up more about it online. This was what I was taught in uni and I find the breakdown very useful.

Also, treat the job interview as more of a chat session. It’s also about you getting to know whether the job is for you, and whether you mesh well with the working environment. And usually, the job hirer will ask if you have any questions for them. This is your chance to ask any questions you have about the work culture, any interesting experiences, or whatever comes to your mind.

I wish you the best of luck, OP! Take a deep breath and be kinder to yourself. You got this :slight_smile: :heart:

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Hi, User6114. I totally get why you’re feeling nervous about the interview. It’s normal to feel that way, especially with no prior experience. However, I want to encourage you to go for it! This could be a great opportunity to learn and grow. Take it one step at a time. There’s no such thing as being ‘incompetent’ - everyone has their strengths. You’ll find your way, and you have the potential to grow and develop. Taking small steps towards your goals can lead to positive outcomes. :star_struck:

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I should’ve put this in my post but this won’t be my first interview. If I can remember I’ve done 2 interviews in person and 1 over the phone. But I think I’ve done terrible on all of them. Yeah I’ll look up more about the STAR method online. I’ve had a job but I only worked there for 1 day and stopped showing up. So I don’t count that as having job experience. Thank you for the advice.

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Nothing wrong with that, you can’t ace something you’ve just tried out for the first few times. You’ll need to keep doing it more and more to build up your communication skills. And remember to treat the interview as more of a chat session. It’s not just the job hirer getting to know you only, it’s also about you getting to know the job hirer and the workplace. If one door closes, there’s always going to be another that opens. Wish you the best of luck! :heart:

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Hi this won’t be my first job interview I’ve done a couple, but I’ve done terrible on all of them. I had one job but only worked there for a day so I basically don’t have job experience. Thank you for the advice.

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I really hear you. I’ve walked out of interviews before feeling like I completely bombed too and it’s such a heavy feeling to carry. But over time I realized that even those “bad” interviews were teaching me what not to do, and each one actually made me sharper for the next.

The fact that you’ve kept showing up despite those rough experiences says a lot about your persistence. Most people would’ve stopped after the first setback but you didn’t and that’s strength.

And about “not having experience”, you actually do. You’ve already been through a few interviews, and you’ve had a taste of a workplace, even if it was just for a day. That still taught you something about yourself and what to expect. That’s not nothing, okay? In fact, it already puts you ahead of someone going into their very first interview with no idea what to expect.

So please don’t underestimate that. You’re carrying more than you give yourself credit for :sunflower:

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Thank you for the advice.

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For the “tell me about yourself” this is what I’ll say. I’m 20 years old and I’m eager to learn.” I feel like thats short though. From the interviews I have done before, it takes me I would consider a long time to think about what I’m going to say.

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How was my answer? Does it sound like me? Was my answer enough for an interview?

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Hey @user6114 ,

You said that it feels like short. What were you thinking that the answer should be?

You talked about interviews you have done before, was it the same?

Did you also consider a long time to think about what you were going to say the last time?

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  1. I can’t think of anything else off the top of my head. I wanted to try and do this without using any AI chats.
  2. Was the answer I just gave you the same for all my interviews? No. But I don’t remember the answer I have at the other interviews.
  3. The last time at interviews? Yes. I’m not 100% sure if this question has been asked me to at an interview but, I know I answer questions slow because I have a hard time thinking of something to say.
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In that case, it does sound more like perhaps you need more practice? Its not everyday that you would get interviewed, so naturally you will not remember and you will take time to come up with the answer.

So if we can hold back judgement about what we don’t do well. How do you feel about writing yourself?

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I don’t like writing. I also notice I have a hard time understanding poems. I had an assignment I had to write 2 paragraphs and I didn’t do it because I didn’t feel like doing it. I also don’t read books. Also the interview was yesterday and I didn’t go to it.

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Hey, I hear you about not turning up for interview yesterday. So what happened? Do you mind sharing more?

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I was just too scared to go to the interview.

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Hi @user6114,

I sensed that’s a hard thing to admit, having skipped the interview because you were scared to attend clearly says how much pressure you’ve been under.

I also read that you wrote about finding writing and reading tasks difficult, assignments were left undone and poems feel confusing. Mind if I ask, it sounded like what you didn’t like started from some time ago… Was it a discouraging place? It’s normal that our brains start linking “anything with words” to “i can’t” or “i’ll be judged.” Does that sound at all familiar to you?

It’s okay if you’re not ready to write out the whole story here. Fear like this often has roots in past experiences, and it takes time to untangle. Some people talk it through with a counsellor or call a line like mindline at 1771 to just speak out loud instead.

Perhaps, let’s pause for a minute and when you picture trying again (whether a job interview or a small assignment), what is the part that feels scariest? the people’s reactions, the questions, or the feeling of being “trapped” in the room?

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Hi so I want to give an update. I sent in an application for another job about a week or two ago and I recently walked in there and asked them if they were hiring. Im waiting on a call from the from the hiring manager when to come in for my first day of work. It wasn’t bad at all I think I have anticipatory anxiety. But the scariest part is the questions. I feel like if I answer the questions wrong or take too long to answer I’ll make myself look stupid/dumb. Sorry for taking so long to respond.

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