Just sensitive or post natal depression?

Ask a Therapist Seeking Help
1

I just celebrated my daughter’s first birthday and am feeling so happy and proud of how far i’ve come but there is a lot of suppressed emotions in me. I end up crying quietly when im alone or crying myself to sleep and i can’t help it.

I constantly feel like im invisible especially after giving birth to my daughter. Because all the attention has shifted to my daughter, whatever that i do for my daughter is seen as what is expected of me as a mother. It’s not that i’m unhappy doing things for my daughter. I love my daughter so much. I just want to be seen. Especially by my in laws. Ever since i became a mother, i don’t feel appreciated at all by them. I don’t want to sound sensitive but i really have so much on my plate, especially since my husband is working overseas for this year. It’s been hard being a solo parent to a child who just turned one year old, while managing being a new mother. Im already struggling with managing my new identity but it seems like my in laws are not actually supportive despite them thinking and claiming that they are. Their passive aggressiveness and assumptions and judgements of the way i care for my daughter takes a toll on me. And to be very honest, i don’t even think my in laws know me for who i am. They never bother asking me how my days were or how i am. Whenever i share something about what i did or something that happened, they never extended the conversation and i end up talking to myself. Sometimes, they even cut me off by changing the topic and i feel so shitty about myself. It feels difficult explaining this to my husband as he is not around most times. I try to maintain ties with my in laws even when my husband is not around by bringing my daughter to meet them fortnightly (and sometimes even more frequent than that) but i always end up feeling so negative after meeting them.

I constantly ask myself if it’s just me feeling extra sensitive or is this post natal depression. I feel so alone and invisible even though there are people around me. I accidentally read a message that my sister in law sent to my husband saying that i might be extra sensitive. I felt hurt. Is this really just about me being extra sensitive?

I stopped working to care for my daughter willingly. But also because my husband is furthering his studies and i didn’t want my daughter to miss out on one parent at such a young age. I want to always be there for her and i have no regrets. I sacrificed everything to allow my husband to pursue his dream. I know my husband appreciates my sacrifices and loves me a lot. I have no issues with my husband but i just cannot put up with the negative feelings that i have towards my in laws.

What do i do? I always think that if im constantly not seen, perhaps i should just disappear? Will it help them realise how much i’ve done so far then?

2

Hi @Trufflecake ,

Thank you so much for sharing what you’re going through. I can sense that there is so much to be said, and yet no amount of words can make anyone understand what you have been through… I can feel the weight of your emotions and your love for your daughter and family. It’s clear you’re giving so much of yourself to those around you, and I also hear the deep desire to be seen and feel appreciated, not just as a mother, but as you.

It sounds like you’ve been carrying a lot on your shoulders, especially with your husband overseas. You’ve sacrificed your own work and personal time to care for your daughter, but I also want you to know that it’s okay to ask: What do I need in this moment to feel more supported? Sometimes, when we’re in the thick of caring for others, we forget to attend to our own emotional needs.

You deserve to feel appreciated and acknowledged for all you’re doing.
What would it look like to feel seen? Is it more appreciation from your in-laws, or more moments of connection with your husband?

You mentioned crying quietly when you’re alone. That’s your body and heart asking for space to express the emotions you’ve been holding in. Your feelings of loneliness and invisibility are not too sensitive—they are a reflection of the love and care you’ve given to others. How would it feel to give yourself permission to release these emotions, even if it’s just through small moments of journaling or taking time to reflect each day?

Sensitivity is not a weakness. It’s a sign that you care deeply—for your daughter, your husband, and even your in-laws, despite how hurtful their actions have been. Your emotions are valid and deserve to be heard.

What would it be like to see your sensitivity as a strength, a part of what makes you such a loving and attentive mother?

You’re not invisible. You matter so much, and the love and care you’re giving to your family is profound. Your presence is powerful, even when it feels overlooked by others. Small steps, like giving yourself time to process your emotions and asking for more emotional support, can help lift some of the weight you’re carrying.

How would you feel about starting with one small step—whether it’s sharing a bit of this with your husband or taking time each day for yourself?