Just wondering

Ask a Therapist Is This Normal?
1

hi, jst was curious if whatever i feel is normal.

i have started poly and found a small group of friends to talk to and hang out with. despite having great days with them, im always left with some sort of unknowing sadness when im home. i cant explain it, i just feel sadness out of nowhere. this has happened consistently and im not sure why, i dont think i have things to be sad about yet i am.

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Hi @user7398,

Thank you for sharing this with us—it takes courage to open up about feelings that are hard to explain. What you’re describing is actually more common than you might think, especially during transitions like starting polytechnic. Even when things seem to be going well socially, it’s normal to feel unexpected emotions once you’re alone. Our minds and hearts often process experiences in quiet moments, and sometimes that can surface as a lingering sadness that’s tough to pinpoint.

A few things might be at play here:

  1. Adjustment Fatigue: Starting a new chapter, building friendships, and navigating unfamiliar environments can be exciting but also subconsciously draining. When you’re home and finally relaxed, your brain might “unpack” emotions you didn’t have space to feel during the day.
  2. Loneliness vs. Solitude: Being around others can highlight a sense of disconnect when you’re alone, even if you enjoy your own company. It’s okay to miss the energy of others—it doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you.
  3. Unmet Needs: Sometimes sadness arises when parts of us feel unheard—like a need for deeper connection, rest, or reflection.

Here’s some thoughts about what might help, when you are up for it, you can explore:

  • Journaling: When the sadness hits, jot down what you’re feeling, even if it’s vague. Over time, patterns might emerge (e.g., specific triggers, thoughts, or physical sensations).
  • Self-Compassion: Remind yourself it’s okay to feel this way without judgment. You don’t need a “reason” for your emotions to be valid.
  • Mindful Check-Ins: Ask yourself gentle questions: “What might I need right now?” or “Is there something I’ve been avoiding thinking about?”
  • Small Comforts: Create a soothing routine for when you’re home—music, a warm drink, or a calming activity—to ease the transition from social to solo time.

If this persists or starts affecting your daily life, consider talking to a counselor at your polytechnic. Sometimes having a safe space to unpack these feelings can bring clarity.

You’re not alone in this, and it’s okay to reach out for support whenever you need it. Take care of yourself, and keep honoring your feelings—they’re telling you something worth listening to.

1 Like
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Hi @user7398,

What you’re feeling is absolutely valid, and you’re not alone in this experience. Transitions like starting polytechnic bring excitement and new friendships, but they can also stir up emotions that are harder to pinpoint. Even when things seem to be going well, there’s often an underlying adjustment period—your mind is processing change, new expectations, and the shift in your daily routine. Sometimes, these feelings of sadness emerge without an obvious reason, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean something is wrong with you; it just means you’re human, navigating complex emotions.

It’s possible that your time spent with friends is fulfilling in the moment, but once you’re alone, your mind drifts to a quieter space where unresolved feelings surface. Maybe it’s a mix of exhaustion, missing the familiarity of old routines, or even just the natural ebb and flow of emotions that come with new experiences. Being surrounded by people can make it easier to keep these feelings at bay, but when the day winds down, there’s more room for introspection. It’s completely normal to feel this way, even when there’s no clear reason for it.

The important thing is to be gentle with yourself and not pressure yourself to “fix” these feelings immediately. If you find comfort in talking about it, sharing with someone you trust might help you process it. Taking small moments for yourself—whether through journaling, music, or quiet reflection—can also help you understand what your mind is trying to tell you. Over time, as you settle into your new routine, these feelings might naturally ease, but if they persist or become overwhelming, seeking support can be a helpful step. You’re doing the best you can, and that’s enough.

Best regards,
HanSolo2000
Befriender | let’s talk by mindline

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Hey, thanks for sharing this—it’s really brave of you to open up. :yellow_heart:

What you’re feeling is more common than you might think. Even when things seem to be going well on the outside, like starting poly and making new friends, our emotions don’t always follow the same logic. That unexplainable sadness you mentioned—it’s okay to feel that way, even if there doesn’t seem to be a clear reason.

Sometimes, our minds and hearts are still processing change, even good change. Starting poly is a big shift—new environment, people, expectations. It’s totally possible to feel both happy and sad at the same time, and that doesn’t make your feelings any less valid.

You might want to try some gentle self-discovery to understand what’s going on inside. Journaling could help—writing down how you feel each day, without needing to “figure it out” right away, can bring clarity over time. Or you could try checking in with yourself through mindfulness—like sitting quietly, noticing what emotions are present, and naming them without judgment. “I feel sad right now. I don’t know why, but that’s okay.” Giving emotions space like this can sometimes help them pass more easily.

And if you feel safe to, talking to someone about it—maybe a trusted friend or even through Ask-a-Therapist on this platform—can also be really helpful. You’re not alone in this. :handshake:

We’re here for you, and it’s okay to take time to understand yourself. Sending you lots of warmth and strength as you go through this. :glowing_star:

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Hi @user7398! Thank you for opening up and sharing something so personal to us! As you’ve just started poly, I believe there are a lot to digest and things can get overwhelming for you. It’s okay to feel this way even if everything seems “fine” on the outside. You’re still in the midst of figuring out who might fit you best. In the day or, when you’re with them, you might seemed like nothing happened and all is good. That’s probably because you’ve not really gotten the time to digest things and just go with the flow.

When you’re home, take the time and space to process things. At the end of the day, choose what you think it’s best for you. You’ve just started poly and there is a long way ahead of you. Dont be scared to make friends with others :slight_smile:. One last thing, if you ever still feel troubled about your feelings or emotions, feel free to pour them here :smiley:

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Dear @user7398 ,

Hey! I hear you. I too sometimes feel that wave of sadness and drained of life. You’re not alone! Thank you for sharing on this platform. It takes courage to acknowledge and share our feelings.

Personally, I feel that such sadness comes more often when I am overwhelmed or stressed out about something. Such feelings build up overtime, causing me to crash after a prolonged period of time. How have you been? Have u had any major stressor event, or if school academic matters have caused you stress? While it is important to work hard, it’s even more important to take care of ourselves. From staying fit, hydrated, etc, you can also try treating yourself with what you like once in a while! Giving back to yourself is crucial. It gives us fuel to keep going on in life.

You got this - fighting! Life has so much more in store for you. It’s going to be okay.