Dear @user1446
Thank you for sharing your thoughts openly. I can feel the weight you’ve been carrying — not just from the pressure of recent mistakes and burnout, but also the deep emotional strain from the incident involving your dog. When we deeply care about those around us — whether people or our beloved pets — it can be devastating to feel like we’ve let our guard down, even momentarily.
What happened with your dog sounds incredibly frightening, and it’s completely human to feel guilt after such an event. It shows just how protective and loving you are. At the same time, I want to gently remind you: you didn’t fail your dog. Accidents can happen even when we care deeply and are trying our best. Your dog wasn’t seriously hurt, the staff around responded quickly, and your presence likely made a difference. Guilt is understandable — but it doesn’t mean you are to blame.
Guilt, especially in already stressful periods, can compound emotional fatigue and lead us to overcorrect, overcheck, or spiral. That’s why grounding yourself in the present — with kindness — is especially important.
May I suggest for you to try two simple tools that may help when emotions feel intense or when the guilt feels overwhelming:
1. Gentle Guilt Reset – “If I Were a Friend”
When you feel guilt rising, pause and ask:
“If a close friend told me this same story, what would I say to her?”
Then say those same words to yourself. This helps separate the voice of self-criticism from the voice of compassion. You deserve that compassion too.
Example:
“You didn’t know this would happen. You were trying your best. Your dog is okay. You’re allowed to feel shaken — and you’re still a good, responsible person.”
2. 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding (to calm the nervous system)
Especially when guilt feels like it’s pulling you backward or OCD urges push you to recheck, this simple technique can help:
Take a deep breath. Then name:
- 5 things you can see
- 4 things you can touch
- 3 things you can hear
- 2 things you can smell
- 1 thing you can taste
This shifts the brain from rumination to presence.
For impulsive decision-making and energy fatigue, try:
The HALT Check-In
Ask: Am I Hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired?
These states can make us reactive, impulsive, or scattered. Naming them lets you respond more thoughtfully.
One-Minute Pause Practice:
- Place your hand on your heart.
- Breathe in slowly for 4 counts.
- Say to yourself: “Right now, I am safe. I can move slowly.”
- Exhale for 6 counts.
Even one minute can break the loop.
Please know that you are not failing. You are feeling the aftershocks of caring deeply, living responsibly, and enduring high stress over time. Your mistakes do not define you. Your dog is lucky to have you. And you — with your strength and self-awareness — are already doing the brave work of coming back to yourself.
You don’t have to get it all right. You just have to be gentle enough with yourself to keep showing up, slowly and kindly. 
but i hope you know that this was not your fault so please dont feel bad and that blame yourself. it was really all on the participant. I hope this doesn’t happen again in the future!