Life of being a Highly Sensitive Person

Ask a Therapist Signs and Symptoms
1

Hello! I just want to share some feelings and thoughts that I have been experiencing since young. Recently, as I mature, I have managed to reflexively think about the reasons as to why I have also been deeply affected by many things happening around me. This can include feeling terrible for a week over a small rude remark made to me by a stranger in public (even if I did not do anything wrong), or catastrophising / overthinking almost everything. It can be distressing to go through these cycles every time I feel like things go wrong.

This has likely led to a perfectionist and overly-cautious personality - whereby I am always cautious about everything I do to not make things go wrong or be reprimanded by others. It often leads to anxiety, deep insecurities, and low self-esteem, which I realise has been disallowing me to open up to others and find someone to settle with (I am in my early 20s).

I wonder if what I am experiencing are cognitive distortions and anxiety-related symptoms?

2

Hey @claire_123 ,

After reading your post, it sounds like these moments stayed with you, and your mind keeps going back to them, trying to make sense of what happened. It also seems this didn’t start recently. Earlier experiences, especially negative ones, may have affected you quite deeply. Not so much about going into the past in detail, but more that those feelings; fear, hurt, maybe some anger or sadness, didn’t get fully processed at the time. When that happens, the mind doesn’t settle the meaning of those experiences.

So when something small happens now, like a rude remark, it can feel heavier than expected. It’s not just the present moment. It is also the meaning your mind attaches to it, based on what it has learned before.

And also when the feelings are strong, it can actually be hard to tell what’s happening in the moment. The mind can either make things feel bigger than they are, or you might notice a part of you that knows you did nothing wrong, but still feels affected. Both can happen, especially when emotions are high.

What you are describing leans more towards patterns like catastrophising, where the mind tries to prepare for the worst to protect you. There can also be a bit of internal conflict, one part of you knows you did nothing wrong, but another part still feels affected. That difference can feel confusing, but it is a common experience when thoughts and feelings are not aligned.

You also shared that this has led to being more cautious and finding it hard to open up. That makes sense. If small interactions can stay with you for days, getting closer to others may feel risky.

When you are ready reflect… when a comment stays in your mind, what does it seem to say about you? For now, it may help to notice what meaning your mind is giving to these situations, rather than trying to push the thoughts away. That is often where change starts.

If the cycles feel difficult to manage on your own, you can consider reaching out to National Mindline (1771) or mindline.sg. They can guide you through ways to cope with this more steadily. It makes sense that you are starting to reflect on this now. We can take this one step at a time.

3

Hey @claire_123,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings on this platform. I hear that you feel really affected by small remarks made by people, and that there were times when you overthink about everything. I also hear that this pattern has affected you even till now, where you pay attention to everything to not get it wrong, and that has made you develop anxiety and prevented you from opening up to others. That certainly isn’t easy to handle, especially if it keeps coming back. I wanted to first let you know that it takes incredible resilience to hang on with these feelings and thoughts, and you certainly have done that!

From what you’ve mentioned, it sounds like your mind has developed an avoidance way to protect yourself. Would you say that there seems to be a harsh inner critic inside your mind that is constantly criticising you for your mistakes? If not, what does it seem like?

As humans, it’s normal for us to make mistakes. It’s through them that we can learn and grow. But those mistakes don’t define who we are as a person. They don’t discount the great things we’ve accomplished or amazing qualities we possess! Maybe you could try telling yourself these the next time you feel hurt or make a mistake?

Know that we’re here for you and please reach out if you need someone to talk to :heart:

4

I have the same issue as you to since sometimes people can me me upset as well like I remember at the time small yelling,and small insults can trigger my insecurties like I have same issues as you I feel bad for you as well