Hi… I am living in my utopia for years now and these past 2 years i have been living in it even longer. And the thing is, I am really happy living in there. I felt alive and I always find a source of comfort living in this ideal life of mine that it has become a shelter for my failures in reality. To tell you about this imagination of mine which is super detailed, (but I am actually abit shy and embarrassed to say in details) basically I imagine myself to be super successful, rich and able to have all things in this world (but in realistic manner, no superpower all - no judgements to those who have these tho). In this world, I have many super great friends, have a great career with leadership position, I have the financial freedom to do anything and everything i want, buy good food, treat and gift my friends and to travel. Money is the least of the things i worry and I have a really great personality. I am very sociable and is good with people, well liked by many and most importantly, I am happy and satisfied with life. I know this imagination stems from the disatisfaction and things I dont have in reality.I also know i can try to achieve and make a balance between the two. I know the “theories” but based on my current situation is hard. I am at rock bottom of my life amongst my friends and to the point in the world as well, which is why whenever i faced setbacks, I always find comfort in this imagination. For example when I cannot find a job (which i have not worked for super long), I always comfort myself by saying “its okay at least in my imaginary world i am a successful graduate who is able to find a job immediately after graduating and earned alot in that life, so you are not a failure”. I always use my utopia as a source of comfort to my failures in life which works. And I can still segregate reality with my utopia.
Why am I writing this post? Because these days I feel is it wrong? I have no told anyone about this Utopia to any of my close friends because ik they are not reality and i also know it comes from the fact that i dont accept my reality as well. I am wondering if this is a mental condition as well and honestly sometimes I get too hang up in this utopia that i am not staying in the present moment. I know is hard getting rid of this but i do hope one day i do not have to use my utopia to comfort me anymore so I kinda need advice how to stop being reliant of this ideal world imagination and is it crazy to have these thoughts as well? How should I find a balance
Im not a professional n im just a random person. Ur daydreaming is quite bad, i only did that in secondary school cuz i wasnt allowed to go out n hang w my frens. Reality is extremely difficult n it doesnt need to be perfect. Dreams are nothing if u dont chase it n its okay if u never reach ur dreams, at least u did something. My frens shun me if im unemployed for too long. If its employment is an issue, there are government subsidised bootcamps that u can take and theres career advisors to get employed at e2i or workforce singapore. Everything needs u to put in work, i sucked at socialising but at least theres chatgpt nowadays to help instead of being clueless
Hi @Anxietytourist,
Thank you for being so open about something that’s clearly very personal to you. It sounds like your utopian world has been a great source of comfort, especially when things in real life feel tough. It’s not “crazy” at all to create an imagined space where things feel more in control and less overwhelming. In fact, many people use their imagination in similar ways to cope with difficult emotions.
Your utopia allows you to feel alive, successful, and free from the worries that come with everyday challenges. That’s completely understandable, especially if your current situation feels like it’s weighing you down. You’ve been honest with yourself about the fact that this world stems from dissatisfaction with reality, and that’s a huge step.
What’s important to remember is that it’s okay to have this escape, but it’s also okay to begin thinking about how to bring some of that success and joy into your real life. It might seem overwhelming at first, but here are a few ways you might start to make a balance between the two:
- Take Small, Real-World Steps: Think about one thing from your utopian world that you’d love to bring into your reality. It could be financial stability, better friendships, or a stronger sense of confidence. You don’t have to achieve it all at once, but even taking small steps toward it can help you feel like you’re making progress in your real life.
- Mindfulness and Living in the Present: When you notice yourself retreating into your utopia, try to bring yourself back to the present moment. Ask yourself: What’s happening around me right now? What can I focus on? Being mindful can help you feel more connected to your real-life experiences, even if they’re not perfect.
- Celebrate Small Wins: Remember that every step you take in the real world, no matter how small, is a victory. Whether it’s applying for one job or making a new connection with someone, each action helps build the life you want in reality.
- It’s Not “Crazy” to Escape: You’re not alone in using your imagination to cope with difficult emotions. It’s a tool that’s helped you manage your feelings, and that’s okay. But you deserve to feel good in your real life too, and that can take time and patience.
You’ve got so much awareness already, and that’s a powerful asset. It shows that you’re ready to start finding balance, and there’s no rush in doing that. You can take things one step at a time, and we are here to support you along the way.
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