losing my friends

So basically, i was really good friends with this person, let’s name her Deva, well deva and i have been close friends for a good 1 or 2 years, but recently i asked someone to know who deva’s crush likes but in return i had to tell him wo deva likes, at the time for me it seemed like the right thing to do, but just yesterday the guy i told deva’s crush to told her that i told him so now she is mad at me and wont even look or talk to me anymore, she says she just needs space but i can tell deva is even ready to ignore me for the rest f her life which i am very depressed about, so now the only people who can make me smile is my parents, taylor and other people like kitty and amy. now i just wish every thing can just go back to normal, because recently I’ve been feeling left out in my friend group (i am sorry if it doesn’t make any sense).

Dear @LEXI3,

Thank you for sharing how you’re feeling. It sounds like you’re going through a tough time with your friend Deva. I can see how much this situation is hurting you, and it’s completely understandable to feel upset and left out. Losing a close friend, even temporarily, can be incredibly painful. It takes a lot of courage to open up about your feelings, and it shows how much you care about your friendships. :orange_heart:

Here are some suggestions for your consideration:

  1. Give Deva Space: If Deva has asked for space, it’s important to respect her wishes. This shows that you care about her feelings and are willing to give her the time she needs. Deva’s need for space is understandable as she processes her hurt, and giving her that time shows your respect for her emotions.

  2. Apologise Sincerely:

    • Express Regret: Start by clearly stating that you are sorry for what you did. Be specific about your actions, for example, “I’m really sorry for sharing your secret.”
    • Acknowledge the Impact: Show that you understand how your actions affected her. You might say, “I know this hurt you and broke your trust, and I feel terrible about that.”
    • Take Responsibility: Avoid excuses and take full responsibility. Say something like, “It was wrong of me to share your secret, and I take full responsibility for my actions.”
    • Write a Letter: If a face-to-face apology isn’t possible right now, writing a letter can help you organise your thoughts and convey your sincerity.
    • Face-to-Face Apology: When Deva is ready, apologise to her in person. Make sure you’re calm and focused on listening to her feelings.
  3. Reflect on Your Actions:

    • Journal: Keep a journal to reflect on why you shared Deva’s secret and what you’ve learned from the situation. Writing down your thoughts can help you process your emotions and learn from the experience.
    • Discuss with a Trusted Adult: Talk to a parent, teacher, or counsellor about the situation. They can offer guidance and help you understand different ways to handle similar situations in the future.
    • Identify Triggers: Think about what led you to share the secret. Understanding your motivations and triggers can help you manage similar situations better next time.
  4. Stay Connected with Other Friends: Spend time with other friends and family members who make you feel supported. It’s great that you have people like Taylor, Kitty, and Amy to lean on during this time.

  5. Take Care of Yourself: Feeling left out and upset can be really hard. Make sure you’re looking after your mental and physical health. Talk to your parents or another trusted adult about how you’re feeling. Practise self-compassion and forgive yourself for your mistake, recognising that everyone makes errors and it’s part of learning and growing.

  6. Be Patient: Friendships can take time to heal. Be patient with Deva and with yourself as you navigate this situation. Use this experience as feedback for growth and to build better friendships in the future.

I hope this helps, and things start to improve soon. Remember, you’re strong for facing this head-on and reaching out for advice. If you need more support, don’t hesitate to reach out.

Take care,
CoolBreeze =)