I have been struggling to find ways on coping with it and have thus been through many sleepless nights and being very tired in school
Often it comes as thinking about “What if my loved ones were gone? i’ll miss so many aspects of their presence i have not cherished now” or “oh no, what will happen after i pass on?”
such thoughts plague me (especially when i have nothing to do) and i try to occupy myself, but some part of me would still be uneasy.
advice would be much appreciated ^^
Hi @curiousreindeer4917! What you’re describing sounds really exhausting not just the sleeplessness but carrying that weight of anxiety quietly through your days at school.
Those kinds of thoughts you’re having have a name: they’re often called existential anxiety or mortality salience. A heightened awareness of the impermanence of life and the people we love. It’s actually a very human experience, and many people go through periods where these thoughts become intrusive and hard to shake. You’re not alone in this, and it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you.
Some things you might want to try is ground yourself, letting the thoughts pass without fighting them or even try to talk to people whom you trust about how you’re feeling.
Nevertheless, if you want more support, you should try to reach out to SOS at 1767 or National Mindline at 1771.
Hi there, thanks for sharing. That sounds really difficult, and I’m sorry you’ve been carrying these thoughts on your own. Worries about losing loved ones or what happens after we die are more common than people realise, but when they become constant and start affecting your sleep and daily life, they can feel incredibly overwhelming.
You don’t have to force those thoughts away. Sometimes simply noticing that you are having that fear again, and gently bringing your attention back to the present can help. It might also help to spend time creating the moments you’re afraid of losing, like having conversations, making memories, and appreciating the people you love now.
If these thoughts keep disrupting your sleep or become harder to manage, it could be worth talking to someone you trust or a counselor. You don’t have to carry this fear by yourself. Be gentle with yourself:)
Hi there @curiousreindeer4917 !
Thanks for sharing with us. First, I’d like to assure you that thinking about death as a concept in general is quite normal, though, I feel concerned about your wellbeing since it seems to have become a preoccupation. I can only imagine the unease you feel because it is indeed something very real and of great gravity. If it is okay with you, would you like to share more about when these thoughts took root in your mind (i.e. any trigger events) and how have you been coping?
Your engagement here is very much welcome, but in the meantime, if you have access to counsellors, it might be a good thing to discuss these thoughts at greater depth in a guided manner 
Not really any trigger events, but last year my brother was very worried when we were going to go on a trip to Thailand as he saw a few plane accidents that happened shortly before. This worry kind of spread to me- it had watered down after a long time, but when i think of nostalgia or that it gets me thinking about my existence, questioning my existence and what would happen after.
When i have nothing to do these thoughts take root and make me particularly scared and fearing for my life and my family’s. I have been more tired by the weight of schoolwork so i do not think about these as often, but they nevertheless still haunt my sleep
I’m thinking about approaching my school counsellor for this
Hi again @curiousreindeer4917 !
Thanks for sharing about your experience! It seems like while the worry has taken on a philosophical tone initially, the sheer amount of thinking devoted to it is sending your mind into overdrive. What are some of these questions about your existence that evoke feelings of fear?
Also, I’m glad you have access to a counsellor and I definitely encourage you to speak with one soon! Meanwhile, since your sleep is impacted, you can also look up grounding techniques (e.g. breathing exercises, guided meditation) that you can practise before bedtime to “flush” out these thoughts for the day.
Take care!!