it’s been 6 weeks since i started to feel like giving up again despite this year being a better one yet for me, which is strange. i feel doomed even when things are okay and nothing bad actually is happening. my suicidal thoughts came back too and at times i feel like crying without knowing why, i just feel down. i’ve been feeling like i’m not good enough again. i’ve been feeling like things won’t work out though i know it’s not true. i just want to feel better. it’s been 6 weeks and it’s been really hard internally fighting bad thoughts. i blamed myself for everything. i feel like maybe i’m just a joke writing my songs too, again. i’ve been feeling like maybe i’ve been a bad teacher, daughter and friend. still waiting for it all to pass me by, soon. i just want to cry but i can’t.
Hey, ive recovered from depression and it relapses from time to time. U have to keep practicing wat made u recover plus finding more things to make u happy or more reasons to live. Its like taking a shower to wash ur depression away when it stacks up overtimr 6 weeks is very bad. My relaspes are from a few hours to a week or 2. Take out all ur therapy notes n start reading or chatgpt or get a counsellor or therapist again. Always sleep ur full sleep, cardio, eat nutritionally, socialise, do things u like, find more reasons to live n repeat.
I make songs too n its not easy seeing them not getting much plays
thanks bud! will try doing that especially my sleep & to a songwriter to another songwriter, im proud of us! keep making the art okay? stay awesome 
hi @aisyahleman ! thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us. i know what it feels like… to be aware that you have unhelpful thoughts and you know they are not true, but being unable to control them and be affected by them anyway. i’ve personally struggled with anxiety and other mood difficulties myself, and thinking that i will just live like this my whole life and never get better. i just want to let you know that recovery is not linear and having relapses is normal and okay! it is not your fault in any way.
i hear that you are aware that this is a passing moment and that your thoughts are not true. that is actually good that you know of this! i know this is hard to absorb, but… i still want to remind you that you are good enough and you are good in the roles you play in your life. things will work out, just like the way it did in the past during the moments where you are feeling better.
also, i think writing songs is an impressive skill! never have i had a bad impression of people writing songs, whether is it as a hobby, to cope, to express etc, in fact it is always admirable to me. it seems like that is something that you enjoy doing and helps you, so please, continue doing so and you are not at all a joke for doing so, regardless of what the content is.
things will get better, and this community is here for you always whenever you need it 
my gosh- this is the most sweetest comment i’ve ever had! thank you sm for saying these. i rlly appreciate it oml, it sincerely made my day. <3
aww im glad it helped 
i often worry of saying the wrong thing but i’m really happy to know of this, thank you too
nooo, i hope you continue radiating sunshines in ur commentaries cos it rlly makes someone’s day. appreciate u queen !!