multiple personalities

Ask a Therapist Is This Normal?
1

I find that whenever I’m around other people I have multiple personalities and never really show my true self to anyone and no one really understands me. I also find that despite having many friends, I still feel lonely.

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Dear @mafuuuu,

Thank you for sharing your feelings and for coming onto this platform to seek support. Reaching out is a step in the right direction and it shows courage. Well done!! :clap:t4: :clap:t4:

It’s common for people to feel like they have different “personalities” around different people or situations. Many people adjust their behaviour based on their surroundings and the people they are with. This can be a way to fit in or to protect yourself emotionally. While this might make you feel like you have ‘different personalities,’ it also demonstrates your remarkable adaptability and sensitivity skills.

You might be experiencing what’s known as the fawn response. This is a type of reaction to stress where you try to please others to avoid conflict or gain approval. Fawn responses are often developed early in life as an unconscious way to cope with difficult or stressful situations. The good news is that these responses can be unlearned.

Here are a few things to consider:

  1. Self-Awareness: Understanding why you change your behaviour can be the first step in addressing how you feel. Reflect on what triggers these changes and whether they align with your true self.

  2. Authenticity: Try to find ways to express your true thoughts and feelings, even in small steps. Being authentic doesn’t mean you have to share everything, but it’s about being honest with yourself and others about who you are.

  3. Quality Over Quantity: It’s possible to feel lonely even when you have many friends. Focus on building deeper connections with a few people who truly understand and accept you for who you are.

  4. Seek Understanding: Share your feelings with someone you trust. Sometimes, just talking about your experiences can make a big difference.

  5. Professional Help: If these feelings persist, consider speaking with a counsellor. They can provide support and help you explore these feelings more deeply.

Here are three actionable steps you can take for a start:

  1. Journaling: Start keeping a journal where you can freely express your thoughts and feelings. This can help you identify patterns in your behaviour and understand your true self better. Here are three journal prompts that might help you explore your feelings and understand yourself better:

  • Reflect on Your True Self: “Describe a situation where you felt completely yourself. What were you doing, who were you with, and how did it make you feel? What aspects of your true self came through in that moment?”

  • Identify Triggers and Reactions: “Think about a recent situation where you felt the need to change your behaviour to please others. What triggered this reaction, and how did you respond? How would you have liked to respond if you were being your authentic self?”

  • Explore Your Connections: “List three friends or people in your life you feel close to. For each person, write about a time when you felt a deep connection with them. What made those moments special, and how can you build more of those authentic connections?”

  1. Mindfulness Exercises: Practise mindfulness or meditation to stay grounded in the present moment. This can help you become more aware of your genuine feelings and reduce the urge to change your behaviour around others.

  2. Deep Conversations: Choose one or two friends you feel comfortable with and try to have deeper, more meaningful conversations with them. Share a bit more about your true self and see how they respond. This can help you build stronger, more authentic connections.

The fawn response is a natural reaction to stress that often starts early in life. It can be unlearned with time and effort. Understanding it can help you take steps toward showing your true self. Reaching out for support is a positive step, and you’re not alone in this.

I hope the above has been helpful and if you’d like more resources or if there is anything else you’d like to share with us, please do. We’re here to listen to you, your feelings are valid and you matter! :grinning:

Take care,
CoolBreeze =)