My marriage is driving me crazy, I’m going insane. My Wife is driving me into a corner thinking that I don’t contribute at all. Matter in fact I have been paying for almost everything. And my money is depleted and now she’s saying that I don’t have any savings but all of my money has been use for her and my newborn. Im working day in day out. With nothing for myself and she uses her money for only her self and newborn. But Ive been using it for her and my newborn. Sometimes I feel that maybe its time to end it all. And now she wants to buy a house. I understand that we need our own space I mentioned that we should rent out for the meanwhile. Whilst saving for the house but she doesn’t want to. And now again backing me into a corner. I feel like someone needs to be punch to get an understanding
Hi Zeus
I am sad to hear about the struggles you are currently experiencing. Please do not feel alone, many young couples who are first time parents also undergo significant stress and frustration in their marriage particularly regarding financial contributions and decision-making when the baby arrives. Thank you for the courage to come forward to seek practical solutions that address these challenges. It is a great first step.
It is important to understand financial dynamics in marriage. It’s common for couples to face tension over financial contributions, especially when one partner feels they are shouldering a disproportionate burden. In your case, it appears you have been the primary financial provider, which can lead to feelings of resentment if not acknowledged by your spouse. Research indicates that financial stress is a leading cause of marital conflict, often stemming from differing spending habits and financial goals.
May I suggest to jointly working out a spreadsheet that records each partner’s income earned and and expenses. It may address the current disconnect between your contributions and your wife’s perception of them. Open discussions about finances, including how both partners contribute—both financially and through caregiving—can help clarify misunderstandings. Maintain mutual respect and openness in your dialogues. If situation gets too heated up, take a time out and reconvene when both of you are calmer.
Next, I believe it will be beneficial to establish shared financial goals with your wife. Discussing plans for major purchases, like a house, should involve both partners’ perspectives on current financial realities and future aspirations. If you feel that renting temporarily would be more prudent while saving for a home, express this clearly and seek to understand her viewpoint as well. Do consider exploring the HDB website for more information on owning your first home. There are homes for every budget.
To cope better and maintain your mental health, may I recommend the following for your consideration:
-Seek Professional Guidance
Consider speaking with a marriage counsellor. A neutral third party can facilitate discussions about both your values, hopes and aspirations and coach you on communicating and healthy assertiveness skills.
-Document Contributions
Keeping track of your contributions—both financial and non-financial—can provide clarity in discussions. This documentation can help illustrate the sacrifices you’ve made for the family, which may not always be visible to your spouse.
-Prioritise Self-Care
Feeling overwhelmed can lead to thoughts of ending the relationship or feeling trapped. It’s essential to prioritize your mental health. Engaging in activities that reduce stress and seeking support from friends or professionals can provide relief.
Your feelings of being cornered and undervalued are valid and deserve attention. By focusing on open communication, setting mutual goals, and possibly seeking external support, you may find a path toward resolving these conflicts. Remember that both partners’ contributions are vital to a healthy marriage, and addressing these issues collaboratively can lead to a more balanced relationship. Take small steps to grow the foundations. 
hi it sounds like you’re overwhelmed with financial and marital problems. Being under that much stress, may cause anyone to be prone to acting out in a way that may cause future regrets. Please stay safe
Professional support could be an option, like finding a counsellor or a marriage counsellor could help with navigating these problems you are facing. Please remember that you’re not alone and there are people here for you.
If counselling is not a comfortable option, you could also try talking things out with your wife. A marriage is not a u vs her but rather u and her vs the problem. But it would probably be good to set down some ground rules before talking and it could also help if you wrote down all your concerns before talking so the discussion stays focused.