I’ve been battling these challenging thoughts for quite a long time now. It’s not explicitly about taking my life or anything like that. More of, I could be crossing a road normally and the first thing my mind goes to, “Hey, what if I get into an accident or a car crash?”. I could be sleeping, and my last thought before my eyes shut close is “What if I never wake up the next day?”. Then, my brain fantasises of people caring for me after these incidents. Because no one cared when I was physically okay, even though mentally I felt like I was fighting a war with myself. Since primary school, I’ve always fantasised of being hospitalised or hurt, just so someone would care for me for once. Is this kinda dumb?
Hey @securerainbow2787,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me! I want to emphasise that I don’t see what you’re experiencing as “dumb” or anything negative like that. It’s completely normal for our minds to go to immediate conclusions or worst-case scenarios, especially when we’re feeling distressed. For example, the thought you had while crossing the road is a common reaction when we’re anxious or worried. Our minds can sometimes think about a thousand things at once, and that is normal.
What stands out in your sharing is that you were aware of these thoughts when they occurred. Recognising and acknowledging them is actually a significant first step towards managing your feelings. It shows a level of self-awareness that can be very beneficial.
I’m also curious to know if you have had the opportunity to discuss these thoughts with someone you trust, like a family member, close friend, or a mental health professional. Talking things out with someone can often provide clarity and support, helping you to process your feelings and thoughts more effectively.
If you’re keen, I’d like to brainstorm with you about some coping strategies that could help when these thoughts come up. Techniques like mindfulness, journaling, or grounding exercises might be beneficial (although it is up to you to experiment to see what works!). Finding what works best for you can make a big difference in managing those intrusive thoughts when they arise.