Hi @Imanfriday,
Thank you for sharing your experience so openly. It takes a lot of courage to reflect on and express what you’ve been going through, especially when it comes to something as deeply personal as living with AuDHD. I want to take a moment to acknowledge that coping with AuDHD has likely meant that, over time, you’ve had to adapt how you interact with others. This isn’t just about communication; it’s about learning to navigate a world that doesn’t always accommodate neurodivergent ways of thinking. For many with AuDHD, behaving differently or “masking” becomes a survival tool, a way to fit into social and professional environments where communicating and connecting with people who don’t share your experiences can feel like a challenge.
1. Masking as a Coping Mechanism: The idea of “masking” is an incredibly powerful analogy for how you’ve learned to cope. It’s a way to protect yourself from the feeling of not belonging—a defense mechanism that allows you to navigate environments that might otherwise feel too overwhelming or unwelcoming. It’s as though you’ve developed a skill to blend in, to keep some of your true self hidden, so that you can participate in the world without always feeling different or out of place. This is a common experience for people with AuDHD, but it can also be incredibly exhausting over time.
2. Sharing Is Vulnerability: When you shared your experiences with the group, you were doing something much more than just talking—you were exposing a part of yourself that you’ve likely been guarding for years. To share how you cope with AuDHD is to share the reasons why you’ve felt like you don’t always belong, and that’s an incredibly vulnerable thing to do. It’s natural that this kind of openness led to feelings of exposure, especially if you’ve been masking for so long. It’s as if you momentarily took off the mask, and that can feel overwhelming, even if you’re usually comfortable in public speaking situations.
3. The Beauty of Sharing: But there’s a beauty in sharing, too. By opening up, you give others the chance to see you—the real you, beyond the mask. And while it can feel risky, with the right environment and the right people—those who are trustworthy and supportive—this kind of sharing can lead to a deeper sense of belonging and acceptance. The more you feel accepted for who you are, the less you may feel the need to mask. In these moments of vulnerability, you’re not only allowing others to understand you better, but you’re also giving yourself permission to embrace your authentic self. Over time, this process can help make your true self feel more “normal” and comfortable in various environments.
4. Helpful Reflection: What’s particularly inspiring about your post is the fact that you’re already reflecting deeply on the experience. You’re asking yourself important questions, and that shows an incredible level of self-awareness. You’re at a crossroads, trying to understand whether this experience of sharing was helpful and whether it’s part of a larger journey toward acceptance and self-understanding. This reflection is a key strengthening factor—meaning it’s a sign of your strength and your drive to find what’s healthy and meaningful in your life.
5. Affirming the Reflective Process: Your process of reflection is already helping you grow. By acknowledging your vulnerability and considering what it means for your sense of belonging, you’re taking important steps toward understanding how much of your masking is necessary for survival versus how much of it is holding you back from feeling truly accepted. The fact that you’re grappling with these questions means that you’re open to growth, and that’s something to be proud of.
6. Helpful Next Steps: Here are a few gentle suggestions to help you continue with this reflective journey in a positive way:
- Explore Trust and Environment: Consider how you felt when you shared your experiences. Were there certain people in the group who made you feel more accepted, or was there something about the environment that made you feel exposed? Identifying these factors can help you recognize when and where it feels safe to be more open about your experiences.
- Build Supportive Networks: Surrounding yourself with people who understand and support your neurodivergence can help create a sense of belonging. This doesn’t mean you need to share with everyone right away, but gradually opening up to those who have shown they can be trusted can help you feel less pressure to mask.
- Continue Reflecting: Keep reflecting on these experiences. The more you understand how masking affects your life, the more you can decide how much of it serves you versus how much of it you want to let go. Journaling or talking to a trusted therapist can be helpful in this process.
- Celebrate the Progress: Finally, don’t forget to celebrate how far you’ve come. Reflecting on and sharing your experiences with AuDHD, even if it felt vulnerable, is a big step. You’re learning more about yourself, and that’s something worth honoring.
You’re doing amazing work by reflecting so deeply on your experience, and I truly believe that as you continue to explore these questions, you’ll find a sense of acceptance and belonging that feels true to you. Take it one step at a time, and know that this journey is one of growth and self-discovery.
Take care, and thank you again for sharing your story.
And that’s a really brave thing to do; Adulthood is tough, give yourself some grace and don’t be too hard on yourself!
!! Thank you for sharing your story here 
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