Recently ive been feeling quite disconnected from all of my friends. My online friends are too strange and childish for me. My sports friends are too childish these days (They are around a year or two younger so makes sense). My school friends just annoy me these days and i have the urge to be around them and share stuff with them. The weirdest thing is i feel like this untill im with my school friends then i forget and when i do i feel like i want to disconnect again. I talked with my mum about it briefly the other day and she said its because of growing up i feel this way. Especially with my younger friends, its because im in a different stage in life from them. Bit of context im now in year 12 / doing my A Levels now. And their still doing their GCSES. But usually im quite a social person and dependent on my firends. And now i feel like i dont want to be with them at all. My family’s fine but as soon as it gets to my friends i feel less interested. And i dont know why this is.
Hey @DavidDavido ,
Thanks for sharing, just curious, you mentioned recently feeling quite disconnected. Did anything change for you?
You mentioned about now you are in year 12 / doing my A Levels now. The fact that you still want to be around them suggests you haven’t lost the need for connection. It’s just becoming more selective. The real question is, are you actually enjoying it, or just slipping back into how things used to be?
Hi @DavidDavido ,
Thanks for sharing this vulnerably with us here. What you’re describing sounds like there’s a deeper sense of felt disconnection since this seems to be echoing throughout friendships across different groups and settings. Would you be able to explain more about how this disconnection feels like for you?
Hear from you soon!
I mean I’ve been away from most of my friends (the close friends) for a while. I was on a trip in a rural place with people i wasn’t as comfortable with. And i felt quite disconnected then as well but that figures as in not close with them. But I’m not really sure why I’m feeling this way all of a sudden. But i think its a sense of feeling uncomfortable in my own skin as people experience when growing up? I could be wrong I’m not sure. But i was in school for the first time in a week with my friends and i felt bit distant at times but by end of the day i felt the distance close with my best friend. I also just think it has to do with the stress of A levels as well as growing up? Again I’m not very sure
When im away i just have an urge to close off and not really talk to them. But i experienced today (after being away for a week) i managed to not close up as much as i thought with my best friend. But with my sporting friends i havent been with them since and im sure its just im in a different stage in life from them since i find them quite immature at the moment but it doesnt help im moving away from playing to managing and ive change attitudes towards the immaturity in a way. But what i mean by dissconection is the urge to just not talk and sit there and observe / just not pay attention in a way. And usually im the opposite. But today nobody mentioned anything which could be either a good or bad thing im not sure.
hii, thanks for sharing!!
dont worry, its normal for stuff like this to happen when youre growing and your needs change.
its okay if some friendships feel like theyre not that suitable for u rn. maybe u just need different kinds of connection at different periods of ur life. a possible solution could be to step back from friendships for a bit, and have some time to urself, without cutting everyone off completely!
Hey @DavidDavido ,
You were away from your usual friends and felt disconnected. That makes sense given you were not as comfortable with that group. When you returned to school, there was some distance at first, but it reduced by the end of the day, especially with your best friend.
You mentioned growing up, stress from A levels, and feeling uncomfortable in your own skin. These can happen at the same time. When there is more stress, it can take longer to settle into social situations. At the same time, your preferences and tolerance may be changing.
What you described suggests:
- The connection is still there
- It takes longer to feel comfortable
- Some interactions feel less engaging than before
This does not point to a complete loss of interest in your friends. It looks more like adjustment.
One thing you can observe is how you feel at the start of meeting them compared to later on. If it improves over time, it may be more about settling in rather than disconnection.
It may be enough to notice what feels okay and what does not, and let that become clearer over time.