Hi @Anonymous418,
Thank you for opening up about what you’re going through—it sounds like you’re navigating a really difficult emotional space right now. It’s completely understandable to feel anxious when such an important friendship feels distant, especially when it seems like you’ve lost a connection you once relied on.
You’ve already identified some key factors that might be contributing to your anxiety, like the fear of losing your friend and the sense of abandonment that comes with it. It’s worth exploring if there’s a deeper fear underlying this: What does losing this friend represent for you?
By understanding the emotional weight you’ve attached to this friendship, you can start to see if there are underlying fears that might be driving your anxiety.
Right now, it sounds like your friend’s actions (or inaction, like not replying to texts) are triggering your anxiety. This happens when we rely on others to provide emotional reassurance, and it’s completely natural to feel hurt when someone we care about feels distant. However, this dynamic can leave you feeling emotionally dependent on their responses, which isn’t sustainable in the long term.
Could it help to practice focusing on yourself in moments like this? Try grounding yourself by asking, “What am I feeling right now, and how can I take care of myself in this moment, without relying on my friend to make me feel better?”
It’s clear that a big part of your anxiety stems from the fear of being abandoned or alone. It’s really important to validate these feelings because they speak to a core human need for connection. But sometimes, when we feel like we might lose someone, it can lead us to focus too much on that fear, which makes us more anxious.
It’s great that you’ve been exploring self-help CBT as a way to manage your anxiety. CBT focuses on identifying and challenging unhelpful thought patterns and replacing them with healthier, more balanced ones. Since you mentioned being unsure which exercises to try, here’s one that might help:
- Cognitive Restructuring Exercise: This technique involves identifying your anxious thoughts (like “I’m going to lose my friend” or “She doesn’t care about me anymore”) and then challenging them by asking questions like:
- What evidence do I have that this is true?
- Are there other possible explanations? (For example, could your friend just be busy, rather than intentionally avoiding you?)
- *What would I say to a friend in this situation?*Once you’ve challenged those thoughts, try replacing them with something more balanced, like, “I’m feeling anxious because I miss her, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about me.”
It’s okay to feel sad and anxious about this shift in your friendship. You mentioned that this almost feels like a breakup, and it’s important to give yourself space to grieve this change. Friendships, like any relationship, go through transitions, and it’s perfectly normal to feel lost during these times.
The feelings of anxiety and abandonment are valid, but they don’t define your worth or your ability to maintain relationships. Friendships evolve, but that doesn’t mean you’re losing everything. You’re learning to navigate the changes, and by focusing on yourself and your emotional needs, you’ll be able to find some stability.
What are your thoughts on starting with one or two of these suggestions? Do any of them feel helpful right now?