Should I confess?

Ask a Therapist Coping
1

I am considering to confess to a friend even though I know I dont stand a good chance. Liking someone that you cannot be with hurts so much that it is affecting my mood, hence I wanted closure so I can move on. She has mentioned she doesnt really date friends and I am also not her ideal type. :sob: I feel like I’m losing her either way.

I feel like theres only 2 ways out:

  1. Dont confess and suffer in silence.
  2. Confess and lose a good friendship
2

Hey @Wubby2938, thank you for sharing. That’s genuinely a difficult place to be in… Staying silent might feel like the “safe” choice, however, like you have already said it’s affecting your mood, and that kind of quiet suffering can really add up over time.

As for confessing, it does have its pros and cons as well. On one hand, confessing gives you a definitive answer and lets you stop thinking about the “what ifs.” Regardless of the outcome, some peopled do find that knowing is easier to process than prolonged uncertainty, and you also no longer have to hide how you feel around her.

On the other hand, it’s worth thinking honestly about what you are risking and what you are hoping for. If you are confessing primarily for closure rather than a genuine shot at something, something worth asking could be: “If she says no, would that provide you that closure, or would it add a layer of awkwardness on top of the hurt?”.

Whichever path you choose, it’s clear you care about her, not just as someone you have feelings for, but as a friend too. So do allow yourself to have that space to figure out which path could help you to get closure and move on.

If you wish to speak to someone about this, you can also consider reaching out to National Mindline 1771 by calling 1771 or WhatsApp them at 66691771.

3

Thanks for reaching out. Yup thats why I am in a dilemma right now because she is someone that I really care for. And I mean of course, I am confessing in hopes for a genuine shot at something, and if I get rejected, that is the closure for me to back off at the cost of the friendship. And I think thats what make it so complicated. I dont want to lose her but my mental is suffering too