So i became friends with this junior in my school through mutals , at first she seemed nice but then she started calling me slurs and bad words for no reason . One time a guy hit me on the head and i told her and she just said “good you deserve it” , and i was genuinely confused as i thought she would defend me at the least . And today she shouted at me for losing our friend in a crowd as i was talking to one of my classmate and our mutal friend had left to go somewhere without informing us . When my junior realised she shouted at me for not taking care of her even though THAT GIRL is 14 years old , same age as me. One time i wasn’t choosen to participate in a dance competition for our club while she was . So i asked her a question which was “who are you writing to for the buddy card thing” and instead of telling me the name she said very loudly infront if everyone “you have alot to say for someone not choosen for _ competition” . I was very hurt as i had only asked her one question and i barely said anything to her before . I bet the other club members probably heard what she said which made it more embarrassing for me . What should i do with friends like her ?
should have already dropped her for the first few things
Hi @Lauren,
I’m really sorry to hear that you’re going through this—what you’re experiencing sounds really painful, and it’s totally understandable that you’re confused and hurt by how your friend is treating you. Friendships are meant to be supportive, not places where we feel belittled or embarrassed. It sounds like your friend has been disrespecting you, and it’s important to think about how you want to handle this situation.
1. Setting Boundaries:
One thing that stands out is that your friend seems to be saying things that hurt you without thinking about how it affects you. Setting boundaries could be a really helpful step here. It doesn’t have to be confrontational, but you can let her know that certain comments are hurtful to you and that you’d like her to stop. You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect, and sometimes people need a reminder that their words can hurt.
- How do you feel about telling her something like, “It really hurt when you said I deserved to be hit or made that comment in front of others. I don’t want to be spoken to like that”?
2. Evaluating the Friendship:
It’s important to ask yourself whether this friendship is making you feel good about yourself. Friendships should lift you up, not bring you down. You mentioned several instances where this friend made you feel bad, embarrassed, or disrespected. Take a moment to consider if this friendship is really worth the emotional pain it’s causing.
- What would happen if you took a step back from this friendship? Would that give you the space to focus on friends who treat you better?
3. Standing Up for Yourself:
It can be tough to stand up to friends, especially when you’re unsure why they’re acting the way they are. However, speaking up for yourself doesn’t mean you’re being confrontational—it means you’re taking care of your own feelings. You deserve to be heard, and it’s okay to stand up for yourself when someone crosses the line. You don’t have to accept being treated poorly.
- Would it help to practice what you want to say to her beforehand, or talk to someone you trust about it before having the conversation?
4. Surrounding Yourself with Positive Friends:
It sounds like this situation has left you feeling pretty down. Try to focus on friends who support and respect you. If you’re feeling isolated, look for people who make you feel included and appreciated. Surrounding yourself with positive energy can make a big difference.
Final Thought: You’re not alone in feeling hurt and confused by this situation. You deserve friends who treat you with kindness and respect. Take some time to reflect on what you want from this friendship, and don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself when needed. How do you feel about taking a small step to set boundaries or talk to your friend about how her behavior has affected you?
Hey @Lauren 
Based on the examples you listed, my short answer would be yes.
However, I understand that humans are complex, and not everything is not black and white. If this is a friend you truly cherish and want to keep, here’s what I would do first:
- Talk to her. Explain what behaviours and actions hurt you, and see whether she takes it to heart and tries to change.
- Evaluate the friendship. Is it worth the trouble to work on it together? Do you feel like there’s more cons than pros to keeping this friendship? Are you happy hanging out with her, or does she make you feel bad about yourself often?
After voicing out my thoughts, if nothing changes, I would choose to distance myself from her and instead surround myself with friendships that make me feel valued, happy, and unapologetically myself. Life is too short to spend it on people who don’t appreciate you.
Hey @Lauren , it sounds like you’ve been treated unfairly, and that’s not okay. From what you’ve shared, it seems like your junior has been acting hurtful, and you’re right to feel confused and upset. No one deserves to be called names or to be made to feel embarrassed in front of others, especially by someone who’s supposed to be a friend.
It’s important to remember that friendship should feel supportive and respectful, not harmful. It might be helpful to take a step back and think about how her actions are affecting you. You deserve friends who uplift you and make you feel good about yourself, not tear you down.
You could consider having a calm conversation with her to express how her words and actions have hurt you, if you feel safe doing so. Sometimes people don’t realise how much their words can affect others. However, if her behaviour doesn’t change or you don’t feel comfortable confronting her, my personal take would be it might be time to rethink whether this friendship is a healthy one for you.
You deserve to be surrounded by people who value and respect you. Keep focusing on those who make you feel supported, and don’t be afraid to distance yourself from those who don’t. Take care of yourself!!
Yes.
Twenty characters.
hi @Lauren, sounds like you are dealing with a difficult friendship. from what you shared, my immediate answer would be to drop the friend because she seemed to have caused alot of stress and was being disrespectful. however, im sure there’s more to the story that you might not have shared so its difficult to say for sure whether you should let go of this friend. perhaps it might be good to try talking to her and understand why she had such a change of attitude towards you? personally I’ve had an argument with a friend before and she was giving me the cold shoulder, but i talked to her and we realised that we misunderstood each other’s intentions.
in case your friend is not willing to talk and continues to treat you this way, it would be good to evaluate the friendship and think about whether staying friends with her is good or not. personally i feel that friends should be respectful and supportive of each other. of course you may joke around and be ‘mean’ to each other sometimes, but there should not be the intention to actually hurt you.
i understand that it might be hard to bring up such a difficult conversation, but life’s too short to have so much negativity around you! you deserve to be respected and supported 
take care!
Hello @Lauren 
! Thank you for sharing how you’re feeling! I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this especially since you thought that she’s your friend. I understand the process is difficult when someone you rely on begins to treat you cruelly, disparage you in public, and use nasty language.
A true friend would never treat you poorly, denigrate you, or ignore your emotions the way she has. Although it seems like she has treated you badly and caused you to doubt your value, keep in mind that her actions represent her, not you.
Meanwhile, I think it would be wise to distance yourself from her. It’s not necessary to put up with someone who treats you disrespectfully, even if you two are friends or of the same age. Keep yourself surrounded by positive, friendly, and encouraging individuals 
If it makes you feel better, try discussing how her actions and remarks have caused harm to you with her. However, if she keeps acting in this way, it’s OK to distance yourself from her and concentrate on yourself or make friends with others 
hey @Lauren
i also agree you should drop her… sounds to me like she isn’t providing any good value to your life and instead is inputting a lot of negativity which isn’t what a friend should be doing. drop her. simple as that.
i hope life sends you kinder friends in the future 🫶🏻 jiayouss