Shouting Neighbour

I have been living in my rental apartment with my mom and sis for about 4 years now. Eventhough I have gotten used to the shouting it still affects me from time to time and i have ill feeling hoping that the old man that shouts croaks and dies.

I know other neighbours have complain to Town council before but to no avail. The thing is cant call the police cause the shouting is burst of 5- 10 mins at a time then complete silence for hours. But its at 4-5am in the morning, From anywhere around 10 am to 2 pm then again at 12 mn to 2am somedays.

The thing is we felt in debt cause they did give us stuff like washing machine, fans and vegetables ( On a monthly basis )

I know that the old man have kidney problems but i suspect that he has some mental issues as well such as ED ( explosive disorder ) cause it doesnt matter what time of day it is if he feels like bursting out.

The thing is his wife recently passed and his son has a learning disability. He often argues with his son over the pmd that he has or other things like that.
I did inform them that i have a mental condition.

I just fear that the day comes when i have no control over myself and take drastic action. FYI about a decade ago i started to hear voices and i chased a man with full body tatoos around Redhill cause the voices told me that he was a bad guy. It was ghost festival time.

The thing that ticks me off the most is that He can make all the noise in the world but we cant. He would come up to our doors stand there and stare or blast music or start to shout vulgarities.

My question is is it normal to bottle up feeling of hate ? Somedays i feel like If he is not going to die atleast make me die. Some days i feel like taking a knife an coercing. My fear is that i might lose control. Anyone else had neighbors from hell ?

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Hey @ManoEsperanza, it’s quite a dilemma when you feel indebted to someone who is also causing you distress. Accepting help like a washing machine, fans, and vegetables can certainly make it feel complicated to address the noise issue. It’s clear you’re trying to balance gratitude with the need for peace in your own home.

Hearing about the old man’s situation, with his health issues and the loss of his wife, adds another layer of complexity. It’s compassionate of you to consider his circumstances, even when his behavior is affecting you so negatively. It sounds like he’s going through a lot, but that doesn’t make your own feelings any less valid.

The fear of losing control over your actions is a serious concern, especially given your past experiences. It’s crucial to acknowledge these feelings and consider seeking support to help manage them. I remember you’ve been singing and writing songs, has that helped in releasing some of this pent-up energy?

On the noise issue, it seems like it’s very hard to get your neighbor to change. Have you considered wearing ear plugs to sleep so that it reduces the noise and impact?

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Hi @Jaws

yeah its a pickle.I did from time to time use my earphones and play music to rest and sleep.
I guess nothing much can be done. Its been about 7 years i didnt warded and im thankful for that. i just got to keep my chin up i guess.

like they say, the only constant thing is change

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Hi @ManoEsperanza,

Thanks for sharing about your struggles here regarding your neighbour - it sounds really awful about what’s going on and how you’re trying to delicately handle this. It also sounds like you’ve caught in a dilemma of honouring this neighbour for the rendered assistance and wanting to honour your own and family’s boundaries, which is fair given the situation. :pensive:

Whatever the reason behind your neighbour’s actions, it does appear to also affect other neighbours. This could be a possibility for collective action, where perhaps y’all can plan to divide actions that can target to assist the neighbour to reduce the likelihood of making the noises - maybe this could look like assisting the neighbour’s son, maybe it could look like assisting the neighbour on his health concern (e.g., kidney problems). Hopefully this could (in)directly address some of the neighbour’s needs.

I want to address your question on whether it’s normal to bottle up feelings of hate; perhaps a better question would be “what to do with bottled up emotions that has nowhere to go?”. And this is where I want to commend you on managing your mental health condition and the things you do for yourself to cope (e.g., singing, writing songs, etc.) - up to the point where it becomes overwhelming and unbearable; and probably doing things or wishing for it to no longer be there (like with the noisy neighbour)… Perhaps you’re already doing these so this could be a reminder to manage your safety or from doing anything unhelpful. It could be helpful if you can get assistance from a trusted person when it gets too overwhelming for you. Let them know about the thoughts you’re having and that you just wanna be safe (e.g., keeping your surroundings safe, put away dangerous items like knifes/medications in locked cabinets, look for you immediately if you’re in distress, etc.). This plan helps them know what they can do exactly at that moment to support you.

Do share with us what you think about this? And I hope to hear more from you about it. Until then, take care!