Hi, it’s been awhile since I’ve been on here. I am moving past my previous experiences with the triggers. It helped when I became a little kinder to myself but it also led to some responses that I have when finding new connections with people. I recently learned some things about myself and how cautious I am with people. I think I give people a bad impression of myself because I’m more closed off and private. My past experiences with people have led me to be very wary of who’s part of my circle. I also realised that I haven’t any thing to say to most people and I’m perfectly okay with that. I think it’s better to just leave things as is, not judge a person or situation based on what they let you in about who they are. But sometimes I feel like people view that as a bad trait, people stop wanting to get to know you because of how you view relationships. I don’t think it’s fair because how can you really know someone?
Hi @hummingbird, thank you for writing in! It’s good to have you back. 
Firstly, it’s completely natural to want to protect yourself and be cautious when it comes to forming new connections, especially if past experiences have taught you to be wary. Your boundaries and the way you navigate relationships are valid and important. Everyone has a unique way of interacting with the world, and it’s okay if your approach is more private and reserved. It takes strength and self-awareness to recognize and embrace who you are, and that self-compassion is a powerful tool in healing and growth.
It’s also understandable to feel misunderstood by others because of your cautious nature. Building trust and forming meaningful connections can be challenging, especially when people may not fully understand your perspective. It’s important to remember that your worth isn’t defined by others’ perceptions. It’s okay to be selective about who you let into your circle, and it’s perfectly fine to take your time in getting to know others. True connections are built on mutual respect and understanding, and the right people will appreciate you for who you are, including your cautious and thoughtful approach to relationships.
Best regards,
Danial
Befriender | let’s talk by mindline
Then what can u talk about in a conversation if a lot of things are off topic? 
. I feel that conversations r just ppl sharing about their lives n views on things, its very hard to conversate if the opp person is closed off. I do unds that u have some trauma of feeling betrayed when u shared ur stuff. I think its either to accept how ppl will spread stuff or talk behind ur bad or find nice ppl or come up w a lot of topics to talk about if u cant share something about ur life
i love how youve become kinder to yourself :')
i do agree with your perspective of not judging people or situations based on wahat people let you in on~ maybe its abt trying and trying till you meet the right kind of people who vibe with you.
i guess my approach on top of that belief of not judging based on what is being told to me alone led me to be more patient with my judgment and to be open-minded for more information and to always give some benefit of doubts to anyone.
from what youve shared, it sounds like youve reacted to your past experiences in one way now, and youre experiencing and learning new insights with your current behaviours, so do you think these are leading you to form new perspectives towards people or situations moving forward?
how i try my best to know people around me, is to observe them (their words and actions) over time and in various settings (with friends, alone, with family, at work). i believe most people will largely their real self in this way unless they are intentional deceiving you, but we would be alert and sensitive for that alr i guess haha