Hello everyone! I’m just coming on here because I would like to get an opinion on this topic. Recently, I realised that I have a real problem with my lack of self-confidence. I think this is more in a work/academic setting. I would feel like my ideas are not good enough, and when I do feel like they are good enough, the reactions and comments I get from people are not as good, or at least not up to my standards. That makes me feel horrible because, as someone who already lacks self-confidence, having such reactions just makes me feel even less confident. People tell me that I need to be more confident, but what happens when the idea is actually not as good as you think it is…then should I still be confident about it? I never knew how much of a problem this was until I started to reflect on my past work and group projects. I would keep telling myself, “I don’t think people like my ideas”. The thing is, I know it is not real, and that this is a projection of how I actually feel about myself, but it is hard to get rid of those thoughts. I think one of the reasons could be that in the past, my work was always getting a lot of praise, and I was getting good grades, which boosted my confidence. However, now that I am in University, I just don’t feel the same spark—I feel like I simply cannot form good ideas anymore. I then start to feel disappointed in myself that I am not meeting my own expectations, and now I wonder, how do I gain that same confidence back? Do I just fake it? How do I manage my expectations? I know that I need to work on my self-confidence, and I know that I need to be self-compassionate, but sometimes it is difficult when the thoughts are loud, and you feel worthless even though it is not true. So how do I move on from here? Has anyone experienced such thoughts before? If yes, how do you deal with it? Any tips would be good!
Thank you for being so open! I think what you’re describing is actually very common, especially in university. Moving from a place where you were consistently praised into an environment with higher expectations can really shake your confidence, even though it doesn’t mean you’ve become less capable.
One important thing to remember is that confidence doesn’t come from always having “good” ideas. It’s about trusting yourself even when an idea doesn’t land. Everyone shares imperfect ideas but maybe confident people just don’t let those moments define their worth.
It’s also okay if confidence starts as “showing up anyway.” Sometimes you act first, and the confidence follows. When the negative thoughts get loud, try to remind yourself that they’re feelings, not facts. They come from pressure and comparison, not the truth about your abilities.
You’re definitely not alone in this, and nothing is wrong with you. This discomfort is often part of growth, even if it doesn’t feel that way yet. Be gentle with yourself, you’re learning, not failing. 
Hello @user3856 thanks for sharing this. I think a lot of people can relate to what you’re saying. Feeling like your ideas aren’t good enough, especially in uni or work settings, is really tough, and it’s understandable that it shakes your confidence.
One thing I’ve found helpful is trying to separate feedback on an idea from your worth as a person. Just because an idea doesn’t land perfectly doesn’t mean you’re not capable or valuable. Confidence doesn’t have to mean thinking everything you do is perfect, it can mean trusting yourself to try, learn, and improve, even if some ideas don’t hit the mark.
Also, it helps to catch negative self-talk (“My idea isn’t good”) and challenge it with evidence from past successes, even small ones. And self-compassion goes a long way. Reminding yourself it’s okay to make mistakes and that this doesn’t define you.
You’re not alone in feeling this, and just noticing these patterns and reflecting on them is already a step toward building back that confidence.