Two friends had sex with me while i was knocked out and intoxicated with alcohol

3 years ago, at 17 i was drinking with friends and two of them raped me while i was unconscious.

I woke up to them letting me know that both of them had sex with me which i did not consent to because i was blacked out drunk. At the time i was shocked but i was okay with it and didn’t think of it as rape because i thought it was okay for them to do that because at the least, they told me. And i still stayed friends with them and was around them a lot because we were in the same friend group. I was fine and even laughed when they made jokes about what they did to me. I had times where i felt uncomfortable being around them but just kept it to myself and was still hanging out with them. A year later i questioned myself about it but brushed it off.

Now, 3 years later, my boyfriend who is their friend too, found out from one of our friends that it happened but he was told that i was conscious and just had sex with them. I now then realised that it was rape, but is it still rape if i was okay with it after they told me?

Is it still rape if ONLY after 3 years i realised that it is? Is it still rape if i told them it was okay but now i feel like it isn’t? Is it still rape if i continued being friends with them & brushed it off like it never happened? Is it still rape even if i joked about it myself? Is it still rape? Because right now i really feel like i have no value and is disgusted with myself to the point that i really thought i deserved it. I feel so ashamed that i actually allowed it to happen and EVEN TOLD THEM that it was okay. Maybe i was confused? Or maybe it just wasn’t rape and i was just exaggerating and being overly dramatic.

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Hi @user1015, I’m really sorry to hear that you’ve experienced such a traumatic and painful event. It’s important to recognize that what happened was not your fault no matter how long ago it happened in the past, and you deserve support and understanding. Healing takes time, and there are people who care about you and want to support you through this difficult journey. You’re not alone, and seeking help is a courageous step towards reclaiming your well-being.

I understand your confusion and would encourage you to call either of these numbers (it’s free and confidential) to ask for a professional advice about your situation:

  • AWARE Women’s Helpline: 1800 777 5555
  • Sexual Assault Care Centre (SACC) : 6779 0282
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Hi @user1015

Thank you for sharing with us your concerns and worries, I hear you and I want you to know that your questions and feelings are valid. I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve experienced such a shocking and traumatic incident where you were assaulted and continued to be within the same social circle - it must have been very distressing for you to put your feelings of pain aside.

Regardless of when it happened, or how many years ago it happened, it is still considered a sexual assault and no one should bear this pain alone. I would like you to please consider reporting it to the relevant authorities by calling the police, and also to speak to AWARE. It is important for you to reach out for support as soon as you can.

I understand that you have some questions as well - it will be good to read this page and also speak to a mental health professional here at AWARE too ( 6779 0282).

I commend you for your bravery and courage in speaking up, and I would really like you to keep us updated on how you’re coping and what you’ve decided to do next. Hear from you soon.

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You May Ask yourself What You Want To Do Are You To Make Police-Report 3 Years Ago You Are under 18 Years Old AND friend should Not Have Do AnyThing To Hurt You

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