So early in July, I met this new student who is sixteen years old, let’s call him boy S and we hit it off after I, who is normally shy and weak in maths decided to ask him for help as he is in my maths class. He is a return student and pulled back into the sec 2 level which he was at when he first left the country for his father’s work. Our relationship developed rather rapidly as he was caring, attentive, affectionate, gentle, brave and good looking, so we went from friends to established relationship of causal dating in a span of a month upon the first interaction. However, my older brother, Let’s call him boy A, was thinking that we were too close and went to the our Discipline master about it which makes us get in trouble. It is however, important to note that my brother is also in a relationship with another girl in the school, which I didn’t care as long as he didn’t care about mine. Anyways, we got in trouble with the Discipline master who made us have a 5 meter distance at all times. So anyways, today, I wasn’t paying attention in maths class and so obviously I asked him about the homework and my brother happen to see us. When we got home, my brother said that he was going to tell the discipline master about out little ONE interaction and get Boy S expelled or suspended. I just think that it’s a bit over the top and now with my exam period literally starting tomorrow, I feel like just flunking all my studies because I genuinely don’t even care about life anymore. This happened not just one time, it happens every single time I get into anything that makes me happy. My parents or brother would try their best to take everything away. I just really really feel like I want to end my life. Like I personally feel like anything these days could tip me off and just make me jump. Of course, I told my parent (Not going to specify which) about me being stressed and they dismissed it saying that studying is not stressful. I’m genuinely unhappy and I want to die, so maybe if Boy S really get expelled, that might be the tipping point.
Update #1 (2nd October):
I seriously hate my brother and his friends. My brother is a perfect in the school and so are all his friends. So anyways, his friends likes to bully me specifically despite being told to role model the way for the rest of the school to follow. His friends will talk ■■■■ about me behind my back and instead of telling me that his friends were doing that, my older brother would join in on it. Also yesterday evening, I went out with my dad and brothers and when we got to a convince stall to buy drinks, my dad refused to let me go down, allowing allowing my brothers to go. He asked what drinks I wanted and because I’ve never been there before but my older brother has, I asked “What drinks do they sell?” and that was when my dad told my brother ''Just buy her whatever" because he thought my question was stupid. When my brothers left my dad turned to me and said “Are you stupid? what do you mean what drinks do they sell?” I’m just feel so confused and lost right now. I don’t know what to do or where I’m headed. I feel like my feelings have been violated and I feel unimportant.