recently ive been getting really heavy imagery of myself hurting my sister after we got into a really bad argument. she invalidated my feelings even after i said i wanted to kill myself and made it all about her. its not like i want to, i just have so much emotions going through my head everytime i see her.
Dear @user4840,
Thank you for reaching out and sharing what’s been going on for you. It takes a lot of courage to express these heavy and distressing thoughts, especially when they involve someone close to you. I want you to know that your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed after such a painful interaction with your sister.
Right now, it sounds like you’re carrying a lot of emotional pain—anger, hurt, betrayal, and possibly even guilt or fear about the intrusive thoughts you’ve been having. The argument with your sister seems to have reopened some deep wounds, especially when your vulnerability (expressing suicidal feelings) was met with invalidation. That kind of rejection can make emotions feel even more intense and overwhelming.
From what you’ve shared, a few emotions seem to be surfacing strongly:
- Anger – Feeling dismissed and unheard in such a painful moment can understandably lead to frustration and rage.
- Hurt – You opened up about something deeply personal (suicidal thoughts), and her response made you feel unseen or unimportant.
- Fear/Guilt – The intrusive imagery of hurting her is likely frightening and may be causing shame, even though you don’t actually want to act on it.
- Helplessness – When emotions feel this big, it can seem like they’re taking over, making it hard to think clearly.
When our emotions are this intense, they can flood our system, making it hard to think rationally.
- Intrusive thoughts (unwanted mental images) – These don’t mean you’re dangerous; they’re often the mind’s way of expressing extreme emotional distress.
- Rumination – Going over the argument again and again, feeling stuck in the emotions.
- Difficulty regulating – The feelings might feel all-consuming, making it hard to calm down or see other perspectives.
Since these emotions feel so overwhelming, let’s focus on grounding and calming your nervous system first.
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Immediate Grounding Exercise (Try this now):
- 5-4-3-2-1 Technique: Name 5 things you see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell, and 1 thing you taste. This helps bring you back to the present.
- Slow Breathing: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 6. Repeat until your body starts to relax.
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Separate Thoughts from Actions
- Intrusive thoughts are not the same as intentions. Acknowledge them without judgment: “This is my anger speaking, not my true self.”
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Express the Emotions Safely
- Write a letter to your sister (you don’t have to give it to her) pouring out all your feelings.
- Use physical release: scream into a pillow, punch a mattress, or go for a run to discharge the anger.
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Seek Support
- Do you have someone else you trust to talk to about your suicidal thoughts? There are a few helpline (like a crisis text/phone line)that you can use to share confidentially… You shouldn’t have to hold this alone.
- If the intrusive thoughts persist or feel uncontrollable, a mental health professional can help you work through them safely.
Once you feel that you are in a better position to speak, you may wish to consider working on the following…
- Boundaries with Your Sister: If conversations with her often leave you feeling worse, it’s okay to take space for now.
- Trauma or Therapy Work: If this is part of a bigger pattern (e.g., frequent invalidation in your family), therapy could help you process it.
You’re already doing the right thing by recognizing that these thoughts are distressing to you—that shows self-awareness and care. Would it help to talk more about what you need in this moment? You’re not alone in this. 
Hey, I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. That argument sounds incredibly painful, and it makes sense that you’re feeling overwhelmed and hurt. I want you to know that you’re not alone, and just because you’re having those thoughts doesn’t mean you’re a bad person—it just means you’re carrying so much right now. I really think you deserve to talk to someone who can support you properly, like one of the trained listeners or professionals here. It might help lighten the weight a little. We’re here for you, and I’m really glad you shared this.
If you feel okay sharing—what do you think you need most right now? Or is there something that might help, even just a bit? No pressure at all, and you’re not alone here 
I’m really sorry you are experiencing this. It sounds incredibly distressing and overwhelming. Your sister’s reaction to your feelings must have been very hurtful. When someone invalidates our emotions, it can make things feel even worse. It is important to find someone who can listen and support you without judgment.
Regarding your feelings towards your sister, I encourage you to seek support from a mental health professional or a trusted adult. They can offer the help you need to work through these intense emotions and thoughts. Remember, you do not need to come up with a solution to this conflict alone.
Hi @user4840,
I hear how incredibly frustrated you feel when your emotions are invalidated by someone so close to you. Given that your sister trivialised your very valid emotions, you may want to consider reaching out to other avenues for support instead. You can reach out to a professional via this link – mindline.sg | Free Mental Health Resources & Mindfulness Tools in Singapore – or contact the SOS 24h WhatsApp chat hotline @ 91511767. Recognising negative thought patterns and addressing them is key to learning how to manage them better. Like the other commenters have suggested, its best that you reach out to a professional to learn how to better cope with such intense emotions instead of shouldering the burden by yourself. In the mean time, keeping track of your emotions in a journal can act as a form of release from your frustrations. Another strategy I have personally tried is to go on a long walk/run when I am feeling demoralised or angry. After all, letting frustrations pile on is unhealthy, and exercise or even a change of environment can help clear your mind. I hope that you are able to find a healthy outlet for your emotions that works best for you.