I don’t really know, but i feel like I’m the cause Sometimes i have thoughts on self harm need consolation if Is this normal? I’m 12-13 years old
hey there… it sounds like you’re holding a lot inside. feeling like you’re the cause of things going wrong can feel really heavy, especially when you’re still trying to understand your own feelings.
having thoughts like hurting yourself—while scary—can happen when our feelings get too big and we don’t know what to do with them. but it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. it means you’re hurting, and your heart is trying to ask for help in the only way it knows how.
you’re not alone, okay? you’re not bad. you’re not a problem. and no matter what you’ve been told or made to feel—you deserve care.
can i gently encourage you to talk to someone you trust? Is there someone at home that you can share what you are thinking? Or in school. maybe a school counsellor or a teacher who’s kind? just saying, “i need someone to talk to” is already really brave.
you don’t need to go through this alone. you really don’t. and if the pain feels too much right now, please tell someone right away. your feelings matter. you matter.
Hey @user3732. Thank you for being brave enough to share this even if you’re not sure what you’re feeling.
You know, sometimes it feels like our heart is this big balloon, and there’s too much inside, it feels like it might pop. That’s kind of what thoughts of self-harm are sometimes. Not because you want to be hurt, but because you don’t know how else to let the pressure out.
You are not the cause of everything. It might feel that way, especially when things go wrong, but you’re just a person trying to figure things out in the way you know how.
You don’t need to carry all this alone. Maybe start small. Maybe just one safe person to talk to. And if it feels too hard to say it out loud, you can always write it down and pass it to them. Even typing here, that’s already something.
You’re not alone, okay? And you don’t have to carry this by yourself 
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Hi @user3732,
I want to start by saying I’m really proud of you for sharing this - it takes a ton of bravery to speak up when your thoughts feel overwhelming or confusing. At 12–13, you’re going through a time when emotions can feel so raw, and things might hit deeper than they used to. Feeling like you’re the cause of something painful, or having thoughts about hurting yourself, doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you - it means your mind is trying to make sense of feelings that feel too heavy to carry alone. And those feelings deserve care, kindness, and support, not judgment. You are absolutely not alone in this, and there are adults - like school counsellors - who are trained to walk with you through it.
It’s totally normal to want someone to tell you that what you’re feeling matters and that you’re not a burden, because you’re not. You’re a thoughtful, sensitive person who has been trying to hold a lot by themselves, and that’s exhausting. Wanting comfort isn’t weakness - it’s human. And even if things feel foggy, even if you’re not sure what to say when the time comes, just showing up to your appointments is already a powerful step toward healing. I’m here to remind you that you deserve to be helped, listened to, and loved - not because of what you do or how well you’re holding it together, but simply because you’re you. You’re worth more than the pain you’re feeling, even if it’s hard to see that right now.
If you wish to share your concerns with a professional, you may speak to the Youth Integrated Team (SupportGoWhere) for free-of-charge mental health support.
Best regards,
HanSolo2000
Befriender | let’s talk by mindline
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