What coping mechanisms do y'all use for intrusive nonstop ruminations of the cringey things you did during a social event for example

Ask a Therapist Coping
1

What coping mechanisms do y’all use for intrusive nonstop ruminations of the cringey things you did during a social event for example.

Your boy is haunted by them nonstop.

2

hi!! i really do this a lot too haha

it’s not easy at all and takes a little practice but it helps a lot to slowly practice being kinder to yourself :slight_smile: i find it quite helpful to try responding to myself the way i would to a friend!

we all make mistakes or slips and grow, its okay :slight_smile:

1 Like
3

Hey @user1138,

When you mention being “haunted nonstop,” it sounded like rumination? Am I righ to say that you mean the mind replaying past events in a repetitive way. This often happens after social interactions because the brain treats possible mistakes or embarrassment, so it keeps the memory active.

One helpful approach is to identify how it happened… “this is my brain running a rumination loop.” Some people also practise postponing it… setting aside a short, scheduled time to revisit how it happened… which can prevent it from intruding throughout the day. Some grounding skills (breath work, focusing on sensory input) are another way to interrupt the looping.

When these ruminations show up, we can try asking ourselves, do they feel more like detailed mental images of the event, or more like critical self-talk?

1 Like
4

Hey @user1138. Ahhh, the post-event cringe spiral. The “why did I say that?”, “why did I do that?” is all too real. I hear you. Those cringey social moments can really stick in your head, and it’s exhausting when your brain replays them over and over. First, know that this is completely normal! Most people experience these intrusive thoughts; it’s just that yours feels louder right now.

Often when the thoughts get too loud, it needs an outlet to let out. One trick that has helped me tremendously to ground myself in the present is redirecting with movement like going for a walk, dancing around, stretching, basically to “shake it off”. It might be worth a try.

Hang in there, okay? Give yourself some grace, and remember that everyone has experienced such moments too.

Wishing you peace and lighter thoughts ahead! :sunflower:

1 Like
5

i find that it’s pretty effective to do more difficult (intellectually stimulating?) tasks to take your mind off things, because the new activity will require your full concentration :3 hope you feel better soon!!

1 Like
6

hey @user1138, i totally relate to you on this… i vividly remember not being able to do anything for hours on end after a social gathering, because my brain wouldn’t stop replaying all the “cringey” things i said / did. and it didn’t stop there – those thoughts would haunt me for days, sometimes even weeks. it was exhausting.

here are a few things that helped me cope with those intrusive ruminations – perhaps some of these could work for you too?:

  • write things down. i started using my notes app to jot down every “mistake” or awkward moment that was bothering me. something about getting the thoughts out of my head and into words on a screen really helped to quiet the noise. once it was written down, it didn’t haunt me as much anymore.
  • remember that no one thinks about you as much as you do. ik this might sound harsh, but it’s true. i can almost guarantee that nobody thought twice about your “cringey”, “unforgivable” moments. think about it: do you remember anything awkward sb else said? probably not.
  • share your worries with friends. this was life-changing for me. every time i opened up to a friend about sth i was spiralling over, they’d either say sth along the lines of “bro you’re overthinking this – you’re honestly good” or they’d tell me that my “inexcusable mistakes” are actually kind of funny HAHAH. and the same happens vice versa – friends have told me things they were stressing over, and i literally had zero memory of it. that really helped me put things in perspective and realise how silly my worries were.
  • reframe your thoughts. instead of berating yourself over how stupid / clumsy / awkward / embarrassing you were, try shifting your perspective to “one day i’ll look back on this and laugh” or “this is just a learning opportunity”! these simple reframes can really make ALL the difference, helping you move from shame to humour and self-compassion.

you’re not alone in this. your brain’s being loud, but that doesn’t mean what it’s saying is true. please be gentle with yourself, okay? you’ve got this :flexed_biceps: :growing_heart:

1 Like