I don’t know if it’s my own issues but I might feel that tech jobs might not be suitable for me despite the higher salary than other types of jobs. Like when I watch videos like type of tech jobs in 2025, and the way they describe the responsibilities and job scope, I felt kinda disgusted by it despite having studied tech since ITE → Poly → Uni.
I just started my first full-time software engineer job last month and the transition is hell and overwhelming.
To be honest, I would rather forgo higher salary and work on lower tier jobs, as long I can enjoy peaceful. But blue collared jobs seems almost impossible for me as I am severely physically unfit as compared to normal people (I can’t sit/stand/walk long, can’t carry heavy things.).
I also considered lower tier desk bound jobs like Admin jobs but I think admin jobs are equally tough and has its own difficulties such as doing everything and need to liase with a lot of stakeholders.
I am really lost and I don’t know what jobs are suitable for me, but what I can say is my dream work routine would be desk-bound job and I just do my work quietly, and don’t really need to attend meetings or liase with people, and most of the day would be peaceful and then go off work on-time (I don’t want to OT). I wonder if there’s such jobs…
Also, I think I am pretty screwed in my life because I feel like I am still behaving like a kid that doesn’t want to grow up and face the tough reality. Like I am basically avoiding everything that’s difficult, such as cooking, dating and stuff. I have never dated in my life before and I don’t know how to cook and stuff. Like basically I feel I am very ignorant as compared to others. In general, I just want to avoid accountability, responsibilities and ownership…
I really don’t know what to do tbh… I feel very lost…
I seek counsellor help before, while I feel better after the counseling session, but after a while things go back in square, as if nothing has changed. I also have an ongoing Psychiatrist appointment and doctor prescribed me some medicine that can increase my serotonin levels but I have not take it because I am scared I would be too dependent on it after researching the pros and cons of it online and chatgpt.
I also have a psychologist appointment scheduled, and I think it costs at least $150 at a public hospital, idk why is it so expensive. And honestly I feel damn paiseh and scared because almost every single week I have a medical appt and I always have to inform my boss… I don’t know how my boss will view me…
Also if you wanna find out more context about me, you can view a post I wrote about adulting sucks, but tbh I really dont know what to do…