So I’m a Muslim person and I have this grandma that I have who keeps telling me to do more prayers and such but I don’t know how to tell her that I don’t do the prayers at all nor try, I mean I’ve tried to fast but now I even try to recite prayers, I fell a big burden over me like I have to do it every single time, if not someone gets upset and I have to make everyone happy and I’m a perfectionist so is it normal to cry every time my religion gets mentioned too much? I wanna diagnose myself with OCD but I haven’t seen a therapist nor my parents let me see one, just looking for advice I’m just really worried for my mental state.
Hey @user021571 ,
You mentioned feeling a “big burden” and crying when religion gets brought up too much. It doesn’t sound like you hate your religion. It sounds like you feel overwhelmed by the responsibility tied to it. In Islam, prayers and fasting are not just habits. They are connected to faith, obedience, and commitment to be a good Muslim. When you struggle with them, it can feel like you are falling short spiritually.
At the same time, you’re trying not to disappoint your grandma or your parents. That’s a heavy position to be in. Loyalty to family, duty to religion, and being a perfectionist can combine into one strong message in your head: “If I can’t do this properly, I’m failing.”
Anyone would feel tense under that kind of pressure.
Crying when religion is mentioned does not automatically mean OCD. OCD usually involves persistent intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviours that feel hard to control in a very specific way. What you’re describing sounds more like internal conflict and pressure. When something meaningful starts to feel like constant evaluation, the body can respond with overwhelm.
When prayers are mentioned, what feels stronger for you, the fear of disappointing your grandmother? Or being a good muslim? or is it mixed?
In Islam, intention (niyyah) is important. Faith is not meant to grow only through fear. If rituals feel forced and heavy, it may help to speak to someone who understands both religious responsibility and mental wellbeing.
In Singapore, you can call National Mindline at 1771 and request to speak to a counsellor. You can mention that your concerns involve religion and ask if someone with that background is available. Or if you choose, you may look towards your place of prayer and seek a religious counsellor. It’s confidential.
Getting support does not mean you are weak in faith. It means you are taking your mental health seriously. For now, it may help to acknowledge to yourself: “I’m struggling with pressure. That’s different from rejecting my religion.”
This can be worked through step by step.
Hi OP,
Ex-Christian person here. I can give you my experience as someone who felt like they’re not doing “good enough” in their faith.
For some context, I was struggling a lot with my depression back when I was a teenager. My family would always bring me and my sibling to church every Sunday, and I’d always go to the Youth sessions. Anytime I was there, I really wanted to “be closer” to God so that He could heal my pain and suffering. I even tried Bible Study so that I could deepens my faith. And whenever I felt like I’m slacking, if I felt that my prayers weren’t enough, and I was still depressed and miserable, I blamed myself for “not being a good Christian.” Most of these were self-inflicted, but I also didn’t really have a support where I could explore my doubts in my faith because most of the people I’m surrounded with were devout Christians (my parents, people in church).
It was only after I moved away and had my own space to self-reflect that I realised…I never asked why I believed in Christianity. I didn’t really know if I really believed in God, and I was never really given a choice as my parents would take me to church every Sunday since I was little. Granted, it wasn’t their fault, but as I grew up, I realised that religion wasn’t really for me.
This is not to say that you should quit your faith. However, you have to ask yourself why you believe in that faith to really find your peace with it. It doesn’t help that your grandma expects you to keep praying and praying, so there’s that peer pressure that burdens you. There’s this expectation that is put on you to be this faithful person, and that’s really not fair. Faith should be a personal journey, and it’s no one’s business what that journey will be like.
I wish you the best, OP. I hope you get that chance and safe space to truly reflect within yourself.
Hello there,
As someone who grew up in a Christian household while struggling with mental health issues, I can relate to this post… My family especially my mum used to tell me to pray or turn to God to “help me with my problems” and whenever I was still struggling, I used to feel a lot of guilt and think I’m not a good enough as a Christian…
However over time I learnt over time is that religion is a personal journey and it’s something for you to really figure out, no one can force it upon you, it’s definitely hard to not give in and feel pressured - I think what helped me is really trying out family therapy and having that avenue to express my thoughts and feelings in a controlled environment- it’s not easy, it took a lot of hard work and mutual understanding, there were many moments of angst but it was worth it in the end, my mum and the people around me started toning down
Your beliefs is yours to make and own, I hope yo u find clarity in this journey.
I totally understand you @user021571 . Practising your religion is highly personal. everyone does that in different ways. Some people visit places of worship regularly, some recite their prayers without fail, some celebrate religious festivals without fail and the list basically goes on… People cannot judge your religious beliefs using their metrics. As long as you practice your religion without fail, that shouldn’t be a problem.
My narcissistic gran, often uses religion to guilt trip me. But, the thing is that, I am closer to god than I am with my gran. It might sound cheesy, but the fact is that, religion is what that is keeping me sane nowadays.
I also want to share an incident with you. Once when I was riding home on the mrt, I saw a gentle man doing his evening prayers in a crowded train. I was simply awestruck! Wow, kudos to him for practicing his religion to the max. 
Don’t worry, choosing to have religious beliefs is highly personal. You can either believe or choose not to believe in the supernatural. Just be sure with your decision. It’s even more problematic if you are not clear about that.