Work stress

I have a friend who is facing high stress at work. Her work and efforts are often not recognised by her boss and the boss is biased towards other colleagues. There is also toxic work culture where team members dont help each other out. My friend has been trying to look for other jobs for a year and has not been successful. Long working hours and no recognition is causing a toll on her physical and mental health. What advice should I give her to encourage her and help her overcome this

Hey @user150795 . I want to acknowledge how thoughtful and caring you are. Your concern for your friend really shows how much you are, and that alone can be a powerful source of comfort for her. You’re amazing! :blush:

These might be helpful.

1. Acknowledge & Validate:

It’s completely understandable for her to feel frustrated and disheartened after doing everything “right” and not seeing results. Encourage her to acknowledge her feelings without judgment.

2. Perspective & Reflection:

The lack of recognition says more about the workplace culture and leadership, not her abilities or worth. From the way you described her, she sounds like someone who is hardworking, resilient, and committed, and those are qualities that really matter.

3. Support & Presence:

Just being there for her, listening, and letting her feel heard makes a difference which is exactly what you’re doing :yellow_heart:

4. Small Steps & Encouragement:

Focus on what is in her control like updating her resume, networking for advice or info. Another way is to protect her wellbeing like take intentional breaks, and spend time where she feels valued and supported outside of work.

While it’s wonderful that you want to help her navigate this, remember that support is out there if things ever feel too overwhelming for either of you. It’s important to take things one step at a time rather than rushing to “fix” everything, okie?

You’re doing a wonderful thing by being there for her, and I hope she can feel some comfort and strength knowing she has someone who truly cares. Sending you both moments of peace, clarity, and hope as she navigates this challenging time :sunflower:

You sound like a really caring friend for wanting to help her through this :white_heart:
Here’s something gentle and realistic you can share with her.

First, validate her. Let her know that what she’s experiencing is genuinely hard, feeling unseen, working long hours, and being in a toxic environment would wear anyone down. It’s important she hears that this isn’t because she’s “not good enough.”

Second, encourage her to protect her health first, even in small ways:

  • If possible, maybe she can set clearer work boundaries (logging off on time where she can, not over-giving to people who don’t reciprocate).

  • Use leave or rest days without guilt as burnout makes everything feel heavier.

  • Keep some separation between work and her identity: her worth ≠ her boss’s bias.

Third, about the job search, gently remind her that a year of trying without success is exhausting, not a failure. She might consider:

  • Getting someone to review her CV/LinkedIn (sometimes small tweaks help more than we expect).

  • Expanding options slightly (contract roles, adjacent industries, referrals).

  • Setting a sustainable pace for applications so it doesn’t consume all her hope.

Fourth, help her feel less alone:

  • Encourage her to talk to someone she trusts or a counsellor, especially since her mental and physical health are being affected.

  • Even just having one safe space to vent can make a difference.

You don’t need to fix things for her, just being steady, believing her, and reminding her she deserves better already helps more than you know.

Thank you for the kind advice. What happens if her situation and negative outlook affects those around her as well? I do try my best to stay positive and be a good moral support but at times, I feel drained and tired from trying to help her stay optimistic.

That’s a very real concern, and it makes sense that you’re feeling drained. Being a steady source of positivity and emotional support takes a lot out of a person, especially when the other person is stuck in a negative headspace. Wanting to support her doesn’t mean you have unlimited emotional energy, and feeling tired doesn’t make you selfish or uncaring.

It’s okay to acknowledge that while you care about her, her outlook can affect those around her too including you. Supporting someone shouldn’t come at the cost of your own well-being. You’re allowed to set boundaries, take breaks, and protect your emotional health while still caring deeply.

Sometimes the most loving thing isn’t trying harder to keep someone optimistic, but recognizing what’s within your capacity and what isn’t. You don’t have to carry this alone, and it’s okay to admit when you’re running low. :slight_smile:

Dear @user150795

Thank you looking out for your friend who I hear is going through a tough patch at work. Your thoughtfulness and care towards your friend’s well being is commendable.

I am also hearing how her mental health has been affected by the challenging work environment she is in. @here2hear and @ScribblingSunflower have shared some recommendations for your consideration.

To further help her in her job search, may I recommend her to reach out to a career coach.The website for her to explore :

https://www.e2i.com.sg/meet-a-career-coach/

The career coach can offer invaluable assistance such as:

-Uncovering her career interests and goals

-Assessing her current employability gaps

-Expanding her job search resources and knowledge of the job market

-Recommending relevant workshops to boost skills and employability

-Providing personalised job matching services

-Offering support and building her confidence to advance in her career journey.

She does not need to go through her journey alone. It’s great you are already in her corner. With further support from a professional career coach, I am optimistic she can find a more suitable role congruent to her values and aspirations soon. :yellow_heart: