I was a contract staff. I lost my job last year. I knew my contract won’t be renewed because my supervisor told me about the situation that the organisation is going to offshore the manpower to another country, I get it because local’s salary can easily hire 2 to 3 manpower there. However, I always took the brunt of the work, taking the long and difficult tasks during weekend and night, sometimes it even lasts more than 48 hours without going home to resolve issues at work so our users won’t have issue on their business days. My team is small, and I’m the only single with no relationship aside from my parents, I just passed 30 and I wanted to work hard and provide for my family. I realised my contract wasn’t renewed but my other colleague was renewed even though she did not once performed these difficult tasks successfully. Okay, so here’s something that always stays in my mind what my supervisor told me. He said I am a Singaporean and I am still young, it’s easier to find job but not the same for others, and they have families to take care of like their kids. Back then when he told me this, I was okay. I didn’t dare to tell my siblings and parents I lost my job. They knew how much effort I put in and the days they didn’t see me at all at home. Maybe because all these while I committed fully without complaining, maybe all these while I’ve been an unfilial son to my parents that others think I have no parent to take care of, that I’m willing to commit my weekend, holidays, nights to perform all these maintenance and updates work. These thoughts started to surface and I admit myself I do not like how I was thinking these. I want to be optimistic and positive but these words just haunt me everytime I told myself it’s alright, when a door close another opens. I’ve been jobless for half a year. Other tried to hire me back into the same role and I told them my expected salary when it’s even lower than what my colleagues are getting. Does that even make sense?
Hey @Defusal,
Thank you for trusting us with this part of your journey. What you shared — it’s heavy, it’s real, and it deserves to be heard. It wasn’t just a job you lost — it was your sense of being seen, of being valued for the long nights, the silent sacrifices, the part of you that gave your best because you believed in doing right by others.
It’s not weak or wrong to feel hurt. It’s human. When you gave so much — even when it cost you your weekends, your rest, your chance to just be a son — it makes sense that you feel haunted when those efforts seem invisible.
Your supervisor’s words might’ve sounded reasonable on the surface, but underneath, they dismissed everything you stood for. And I hear that you’re trying to stay positive, but some wounds don’t heal with optimism — they heal with being seen.
I wonder, has anyone told you lately that what you did mattered? Because it did. You mattered. And you still do — even now, without the title, without the role.
You’re not unfilial. You’re just tired. Tired from carrying too much for too long without being held. Maybe the help you need now isn’t another job — maybe it’s the space to say, “I did my best. And I deserve better too.”
You’re not alone here, and your story deserves more than silence.
We’re listening — perhaps may I ask, how are you coping now? are you getting the help that you need?
Hey @Defusal. Thank you for writing so honestly. It sounds like you’ve been carrying so much, and I want to say that you didn’t deserve to be treated like you’re dispensable. The long hours, the missed weekends, the quiet loyalty… all that was commitment, not weakness.
When you give and give, hoping it will speak for itself, and then the silence that follows just makes everything feel smaller. It’s hard when people assume resilience just because we don’t complain. Sometimes being “the one who can take it” comes at the cost of being overlooked.
The part that struck me most was how you internalized their reasoning, as if your being single, younger, and local somehow meant your pain mattered less. But pain doesn’t compare, and the weight of what you carried still deserves to be acknowledged.
But I hope you know that this doesn’t define your worth, not being rehired, not your job status, not even the silence from those who should’ve fought harder for you.
Maybe this period isn’t just a gap… maybe it’s an opening. A space to re-center. To ask yourself what kind of work aligns with you, not just what you can endure.
You’ve already proven how reliable you are. How capable. Now’s the time to prove something else, to yourself, that you deserve to be in spaces that don’t just use you, but uplift you.
If I may ask, what has helped you hold on so far, even when all this feels so heavy? What do you need now to feel supported again?
If you ever needed a sign that your heart and effort were real, let this be one 
Hey @Defusal,
I thank you and acknowledge you for this raw and vulnerable sharing, it must have taken you a lot of courage for you to open up, and I admire you for that
I hear the pain you are carrying from this whole experience. What happened to you sounds genuinely unfair and I hear you for feeling frustrated. You sacrificed so much of your time and even well-being trying to hold the team up, but despite all your efforts they made the decision to overlook all that and discontinued your contract, even continuing another team member’s contract who did not contribute much to the team at all. It makes complete sense for you to feel hurt and confused by your supervisors reasoning.
You mentioned that others think that you are unfilial son because you seem to have no parent to take care of? That is not true at all, and your worth is not determined by what others think of your family situation, they don’t even know the full story! The truth is that you were working hard to provide and care for your family. That to me is not being unfilial but being a caring, loving, strong and persevering man. Your worth is not determined by what others think of you at all, nor what you have achieved. You alone are worth it
Being jobless for six months after such an experience would definitely be emotionally draining. I hear you and I agree that being optimistic in such a situation is tough. But what if you don’t have to be optimistic? What if you don’t have to carry it all and just let go? What if you just allow yourself that space to be connected with your emotions? All your pain, sorrow, hurt or even anger, it is ok to be one with it, it is alright. Emotions are what makes us human after all~ 
That being said, my short yet deep experience of you is that you have an admirable amount of perseverance in you and I want you to know that. You have a lot of passion and drive in you to have come this far. You will get there, I know you will💙
If there’s anything we’re just a mere text away!
Many hugs 
Hey @Defusal, thank you so much for opening up.
What you just shared isn’t just about losing a job—it’s about being told, in the most indirect and painful way, that your effort, loyalty, and sacrifice meant less than someone else’s circumstances. And I know that hurts. No matter how much we try to rationalise it “offshoring,” “you’re young,” “you have no kids”, that sting of being seen as expendable doesn’t just go away with time.
You gave up weekends, holidays, and nights. You went 48 hours straight at times to make sure others could work without disruption. That wasn’t just a job but also commitment. That was love for your work, love for your family, and a willingness to carry more than your fair share. And instead of being recognised for that, you were quietly pushed aside with the reasoning that your life was somehow less urgent or important to protect.
And “You’re still young, you’re Singaporean, easier to find job” may sound like empathy, but what it really did was erase your entire struggle. Your own parents. Your own sacrifices. Your own value. As if your life could somehow wait in limbo just because others had children and you didn’t. That’s not fairness. That’s rationalised neglect dressed up as logic.
You’ve been jobless for 6 months now. You’ve watched people who didn’t work as hard get renewed. You’ve lowered your salary expectations below what they’re paying others. And still… nothing. You’re not crazy to wonder if it makes any sense because it doesn’t. This isn’t about performance. It’s about how companies quietly calculate worth in ways they never say out loud. And it’s often people like you quiet, reliable, never complain, always deliver who get taken for granted the most.
And those thoughts you said you’re having? They’re not shameful. They’re human. You’re not being unfilial. You’re not bitter. You’re waking up to how unfairly you were treated. And you’re allowed to feel sad, angry, and tired.
But please know that you didn’t fail.
You didn’t “lose” because you weren’t good enough.
You were too good to exploit forever and they knew it. And that makes you the one with integrity. The one who still showed up, even when invisible. The one who still hopes despite all of this.
If a system can’t recognise people like you, then the system is broken, not you.
I know you’re tired of hearing “when one door closes another opens.”
So I’ll say this instead: Sometimes the door doesn’t open right away. Sometimes you’re stuck in the hallway for a while. And that hallway feels like a void.
But you’re not walking it alone.
You deserve better, not just another job, but one that sees your value before you break yourself proving it. You still matter. And this season you’re in? It doesn’t erase all the good you’ve done. It just means your next chapter is waiting for a door that fits your worth.
Keep going. You’re not forgotten.
You’re not less.
You’re just waiting to be seen by the right people, people who see your worth without excuses.
Hi @FuYuan_Affections , thank you for your kind comment, I appreciate it. I realised I double posted this and the original message was in the [9 to 5] thread.
Perhaps I’ve been too harsh with my wording but I believe my team leader did not dismiss everything I’ve done. After all, it felt like a consolation or a kind consideration that I should not feel bad about losing my role. He admitted that there wasn’t much he could do and the time was not on my side, and therefore I had to leave.
He had a certain expectation for me but I believe part of it also comes from me falling short of certain expectations. And like you’ve mentioned, I am human after all.
I do not hate my weaknesses, failures or mistakes. These are important aspects that shape my character the way I am, and I embraced them as part of me. A person is only human because of his or her imperfection. I feel that being able to work towards a better person myself is also what makes us a better human.
My close colleagues, siblings and friends acknowledged my effort, and thankfully that how I was able to find strength and tell myself that it wasn’t in vain. It was exactly what you’ve said, wounds heal with being seen.
Therefore I do not want to hate anyone, it’s tiring to keep thinking about it. I want to reflect on my actions, to stand up again. It felt like a pity to be giving up now, then all the failures and mistakes of my past self would have been in vain, it’s only right to keep going so I can face myself.
Yes, I’m alright! I am coping well thanks to my family and that’s all the more I have to help myself up. I choose to be a fighter this time in life.
I hope this message will find its way to others to give them strength during this difficult period.
Thank you for your kind words @ScribblingSunflower . I appreciate your comment and support.
Yes, my close colleagues said the same thing as you, a space for me to re-center, to put the burden off my shoulders after so long. I find it weird to say this but being jobless also has its merits!
Despite being jobless, I was able to find time to give back to my parents the time I didn’t have for them when I was working. I was able to travel with them and realised the time I’ve missed how my parents aged. A part struck me that being able to quarreling and bickering with my parents once in a while has a special connection, it was a happy feeling I’ve missed.
During the time I’ve spent working, they were considerate of me. But now that I spent more time with them and they told me off to faster find work so they don’t have to see me at home was ironically satisfying, to see them angry also prove how healthy and lively they are. I want to be able to cherish these moments.
While I do not get to enjoy children care leave or parental care leave back when I was a contract staff, I was able to commit back to my parents during this period.
You’ve asked how I’ve hold on so far? It was actually my mentor (Colleague A) at work. I accidentally double posted this but my full post was in the [9 to 5] thread! To be honest, he was the reason why I realised my effort, even though seem in vain to many people, he was a witness of my struggle and realised how difficult it was for me. He has a family to take care of and also the reason why I aspire to be better so he can spend more time with his family, just like how he helped me so I can finish work and go back home to my family. He felt conflicted knowing I wasn’t renewed but even so, he fought to extend my contract for another 3 months which I was truly grateful for.
The pain and struggle, the unfairness as far as they may seem, I don’t resent them. It was these feelings that make me realised what I’ve overlooked in search of the things I want to do in life.
I know not what the future holds but even more so, there’s no reason for me to back down from it. Perhaps it was a constant stroke of bad luck thus far but even a brush needs to be inked again.
Let this be a new stroke on a fresh piece of paper, a new opportunity for myself 
Hey again @Defusal. Reading your response gave me goosebumps! The way you described rediscovering time with your parents, not just the quiet, tender moments but even the noisy, messy, human ones, truly moved me because it is what I’m doing presently too. You’re absolutely right about how being jobless is not exactly a loss, but a kind of restoration.
And wow, your words about your mentor really stood out to me. To have someone who sees your struggle, affirms your worth, and goes the extra mile. That’s rare. The truth is, you’ve impacted people more than you know, and the fact that someone fought for your extension speaks volumes about the kind of presence you are at work and in life.
This line, “even a brush needs to be inked again” is something I’ll carry with me too. Sometimes, it’s not about starting over completely, but letting the pause refill us so the next stroke has purpose and strength. You’ve given yourself permission to begin again, and that takes real courage.
I’m rooting for you in this new chapter. Whatever comes next, you’ve already proven your resilience and your heart
Hi, im not sure if ive mistaken u for a software developer cuz i recalled i read somewhere in ur post. I wanna get into software development. I graded a software developer bootcamp not long ago n i wanna ask u some qns if u dont mind
Hi @user1138 ,
I’m not a software developer (DevOps) but more on the TechOps. I’m not sure if I can help you much but if you have any questions, I will answer to the best of my abilities 