Question: Should you forgive your partner if you found out that you’ve been betrayed/cheated on?
Context: You found out your partner has been cheating on you and confronted him. He then said he’s sorry and will never do it again. So both of you agree to try and work things out again.
But you became paranoid and keep thinking that he’s out there cheating. And you can’t stop thinking about how he used to cheat on you too. You feel miserable but you don’t want to end this relationship.
Question: So, should you end things for good, or continue to try and work things out?
My personal opinion to still being together with someone who cheated is that you are playing yourself. Always break if got cheated on is the way, or else r u even respecting urself
I’m sorry to hear about what you’re going through. It takes a lot of strength to confront such a painful situation and to reach out for support. Feeling paranoid and miserable after discovering infidelity is a natural reaction. Trust, once broken, is challenging to rebuild.
Open and honest communication is key to resolving issues in a relationship. Have a candid conversation with your partner about your fears and insecurities. Discussing how you both can rebuild trust is crucial. This might involve setting boundaries, seeking reassurance, or even considering counselling. Sometimes, seeking guidance from a professional counsellor can provide a neutral space to discuss your feelings and offer strategies to help rebuild trust and navigate your emotions.
Take time to reflect on what you need to feel secure and happy in the relationship. Ask yourself if you can truly forgive and move past this betrayal. Observe if your partner is showing consistent, trustworthy behaviour and if both of you are willing to put in the effort to rebuild the relationship. It’s also worthwhile to consider how the relationship broke down to the point where infidelity occurred. Were there any red flags that were overlooked that need to be addressed?
To assist you in gaining clarity on whether you should leave or stay, here are some journal prompts for your consideration:
What are my core values in a relationship, and has this situation compromised them?
Can I genuinely see myself trusting my partner again? What would it take to rebuild that trust?
What are the positive aspects of this relationship that I would miss if it ended?
Are there patterns or red flags in this relationship that have been consistently troubling?
How does staying in this relationship affect my mental and emotional well-being?
What would my ideal relationship look like, and does this relationship align with that vision?
Am I staying out of fear of being alone, or because I believe this relationship can truly be healthy and fulfilling?
How would I feel one year from now if nothing changed in this relationship?
Some couples are able to rebuild their relationship after infidelity, while others find it too difficult to move past the betrayal. Both outcomes are valid and have their own place, with no judgement. Ultimately, the decision to stay or leave should be based on your well-being and happiness. Whether you decide to stay or leave, focus on your personal growth and healing. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family, and engage in activities that bring you joy and peace.
There’s no right or wrong answer, only what’s best for you. Take the time to reflect, communicate openly, and seek support if needed. Your happiness and emotional well-being are the most important factors in making this decision.
I hope the above has been helpful and if you’d like more resources or if there is anything else you’d like to share with us, please do. We’re here to listen to you, your feelings are valid and you matter! Wishing you strength and clarity.
Not easy question, I hope you’re coping @anonymous307. Hard for us to give direct answers so I guess I’ll just share my story so you can see more perspectives.
My ex cheated on me with my best friend. I forgave her and wanted to carry on the relationship but she didn’t want to because she wanted to be together with my best friend. I was heartbroken but I moved on. Fast forward many years, they are no longer together too.
I guess the moral of the story here is, do you see a future with this guy. If you don’t, then your time might be better invested in other people.
It takes a lot of strength to confront such a painful situation and to reach out for support. Feeling paranoid and miserable after discovering infidelity is a natural reaction. Trust, once broken, is challenging to rebuild. 
Wishing you strength and clarity.